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Nothing to report from my party on Friday night but it got me thinking of all the mad stories you hear about mayhem at office Christmas parties.
We had a guy once who was found wrapped in a curtain, with no clothes on and the curtain was still attached to the wall.
Anyone have any classic stories they'd like to share?
The most disappointing party - or that should be post-party - I experienced was when I was in Uni. in Galway in the 70s.
A gang of us organised a pre Christmas holiday party in a flat near Father Griffin Road. Party went well and some serious drinking and boogeying went on.
The disappointing part was when I woke up early the next morning in a girl's bed with a stark naked (and gorgeous) bird half-straddled across my FULLY CLOTHED body.:eek:
Obviously I'd done nothing (I think) but what an opportunity missed as she's been hanging out of me for most of the party.
TBF, like the gentleman I was/am, I quietly slipped off the bed and covered/gently tucked her up with bedclothes as it was cold, made a cup of tea and slipped home to my flat. No point in starting anything anyway since it was morning and the lady might have had a different (and sobered up) attitude to see (a then young) Hamish trying it on in the cold light of a post-party morn'.
See girls, we blokes are not all sex-crazed monsters.;)
(PS - TBH I wasn't too frustrated as I was......eh.........being cared for....... by the landlady's cousin around the same time - a nurse called, wait for it, Florence - not a word of a lie - that was the nurse's name):D
EDIT - I wasn't two-timing either.....Florrie.........like her famous namesake......administered and brought care, comfort and well-being to many in need.)
The 70's??? :eek: That 1870's Ham??? :D
Ah, get up the yard, you ageist you.:p :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Drumcondra Red
Did it take him long to pull himself together?Quote:
Originally Posted by Peadar
Sorry......One foot in the taxi.
I know a guy who went to his Christmas party in a Santa suit with a pair of shorts(with the fake arse attached to them) and the arse sticking out and he had a fake, ya know yerself;) hanging out the front of the trousers. He wore a sign saying "free hand lotion, just pull" with arrows pointing down to the yoke:D.
No, it wasn't me:p.
Ooooooooooooooh yes it was...........but why did you do it in the middle of June, Sligoman?? Does Sligo operate to a different calendar or what??:confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by sligoman
:p :D
My housemate slept with his 40+ year old manager at his Christmas party on Friday night. I happened to be in the same pub and this woman howled at the moon - needless to say my house mate has come in for a bit of a slagging.
After spending over 3 years in England, I can safely say that they're the masters at inter office fornication.Quote:
Originally Posted by finlma
I'd say he done a bit more than sleep no?;) :p.Quote:
Originally Posted by finlma
Quote:
Originally Posted by sirhamish
Be honest you copped a feel, yeah? Or at least you had a diddle. Definitely a chance wasted.
Here's one for all the naysayers! Two years ago today I shifted a woman at her Xmas do. I married her a month ago, so you see ladies and gents, some Xmas party rendez-vous can turn out well.
And no, she's not a minger.
Dead right there Kingdom.........a chance wasted allright. Swear to God, I fell asleep on an empty bed and woke up in that situation I mentioned. Well, I think the bed was empty when I fell asleep.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kingdom
Ah fcuk it, I can't remember much of it except that bit.:D
Congrats BTW on getting married.........why didn't you tell us then? Oh, I know, now you wouldn't want a shower of Footypersons descending on your big day, now, would you??LOL:D
Dead right babydol, it takes auld fcukers (no pun intended) in my age group to show you youngsters how to really treat a woman.:p :DQuote:
Originally Posted by finlma
Y'see, we've accumulated all that experience and...eh...honed techniques over the years:eek: I mean, look at Penny Lancaster and Rod Stewart. She doesn't need the money 'cos she' has her own business so he must be doing something right.....she had his baby lately, didn't she??
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/3...6_rod2_200.jpg
where did ye move her to??Quote:
I shifted a woman at her Xmas do
bejebus its been a long time since i heard that word. kissed is even trendier these days get with it kingom ;) :D
thats what you think!! only messin.Quote:
And no, she's not a minger.
My College Crimbo party is on in Break For the Border tomorrow night so i'll let yous know how it went on Friday (well, better make that Saturday:D :p )
Bosses where im temping too tight to fork out for a Xmas party. :mad: but managed to fall asleep while lying on the dancefloor in a do in Dublin a few years ago...
At lask week's Xmas party in my department one lad got well ****ed and started telling one girl her contacts made her look like a junkie and another that her face made her look like she was in permenent labour pain. I think he carried on this forum with a few other girls for the rest of the party. Ok, not much of an Xmas party confession but I'm sure he regretted it the next morning, then again maybe not.;)
Remember coming home from one party and we got a text from one of thelads who'd vanished saying "I'm in the Liffey". One of the lads (who'd actually called one of his friends to give us a lift home!) insisted on us driving along the Liffey even though we pointed out that if yer man was in the Liffey, (a) the last thing he'd be doing would be sitting there texting us about it and (b) his phone would be fairly unlikely to be working...
We were at a proper crimbo do two weeks ago in the foggy dew, with the mrs' job. Got talking to this one lad. He was chatting up a bird in the group, then started the wearin the face off her. Fair nuff xmas do and all that. The bird then goes to the bar to get a drink. She comes back to the table beside the lad she was just kissing, and he turns around to her and goes:
"Jaysus young-won, you're a bit of a corker, my names John, do I know you? I recognise you from somewhere".
The bird didn't have a drink then, cause yer man was wearing it. He didn't have a clue who she was, honest to god.