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Juz,
I think most people see where you are coming from but your point is being drowned out by the "elements" activities. No matter how much good is done, it is all undone straight away by any incidents that take place.
Going north for games and to Millwall and this kinda of thing, while you might think it is harmless and isn't worth mentioning, most others see it as clandestine and a statement of intent. Again ... it is only a hand full of your support part-taking in these trips but it is that small few that will be spoken about.
You could have 3,000 fans or 30,000 fans all behaving themselves at you home games or where ever but it is the small element that people will give out about. All the normal fans might as well not be there. No one cares about them when everyone is taking about the element.
It is unfair and unbalanced maybe, but that is the way it is.
I have spent a couple of weekends in Dublin recently and have spoken to a few barstoolers and i brought it up (as you do) "Why dont you go across town and support you own ? " ..... "no way man, it is all scumbags and trouble, you'd get the head kicked off you" ..... I could try an argue with them but they are not that interested. They heard the name/label/stigma that it has and just stay away. They dont cast it another thought.
One incident can change five years hard work and that is the truth of it. And there is nothing anyone can do about it. People remember bad news before good.
No trouble IS the only way to go !!