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Gareth Barry - £12m
Roque Santa Cruz - £17.5m
Joleon Lescott - £22m
Emanual Adebeyor - £25m
Carlos Tevez - £30m
Kolo Toure - £16m
Adam Johnson - £7m
Robinho - £32m
Craig Bellamy - £14m
Shaun Wright-Phillips - £9m
Wayne Bridge - £12m
Manchester City not qualifying for the Champions League . . . Priceless.
It's just not the same without Tommy's delivery!Quote:
Originally Posted by smellyfeet
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ky...5pdao1_500.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by dahamsta
Go on Youtube, some great stuff, Its even shows the scene when he die's on stage, the audience think its part of his act, freaky stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by dahamsta
How fitting he should die on stage. What a legend. I have all his DVDs at home, I watch them over and over again.
Heres one of my favourites:
My dog took a big bite out of my knee. A friend of mine said: "Did you put anything on it?" I said: "No, he liked it as it was."
Paddy & Mick go down to the local job centre, but theres a big sign on the door saying 'Interviews for deaf people only'. Never the less they decide to put on an act. Paddy walks into the office, and the interviewer says "shut the door". He does, and the man says to Paddy.."you're not deaf at all. get out". Anyway, Paddy comes out and tells Mick whatever you do don't shut the door. Mick goes into the office, and the interviewer says the same. "shut the door". Mick replies "No, shut it yourself"
One just off the telly but what harm, it's one of my faves!
A white horse goes into a bar. The barman says "'ere, we have a drink named after you!"
The horse says "What? Eric??!!"
What do you call a defiant Roman cannibal?
Gladiator.
Random Jokes:
Gordon Brown's resignation has made a significant impact on the British public and beyond.
Eastenders was cancelled.
Sick of having your house Burgled?
Save money on home security by simply writing the words "Job Centre" on your door.
"I'm not doing any Michael Jackson jokes because they always involve puns about his songs. And that's bad."
What's pink and fluffy and goes round and round?
SPOILER: Stephen Gately's suitcase at the airport
If there are three apples on a table and Jamal takes two of them,
SPOILER: What colour is Jamal?
Whats the definition of optimism?
A ginger buying condoms!
Two of Bin Laden's wives getting ready to hit the town for the night,one wife trying on a new outfit turns to the other and says-"Does my bomb look big in this?"
In the news; "Woman arrested for killing her kids whilst on holiday in Spain".
Silly cow should have gone to Portugal, she would have got away with it there.
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his ****in' widow."
I cheated on my wife with a gorgeous young weather-girl.
My judgement was clouded.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?'She asked.'Hunting Flies'He responded.'Oh. ! Killing any?'She asked.'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied. Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?'
He responded, 3 were on a beer can,2 were on the phone.
Sometimes I enjoy my steak undercooked, but that's rare
Jaysus thats badQuote:
Originally Posted by Deckydee