Anotehr article from teh archives, more for humour then to add anything to the debate.
You know what it's like. You're going out with a good-looking woman and
you've been going out with her for a while. At first it's nothing but
excitement and passion. You're amazed at the things she'll do for and to
you. All your mates are envious. They wish their girlfriends were as good as
yours.
But then after a while, you start to get a bit bored. That thing she does
with the parsnip and yoghurt starts to seem a bit ordinary, she never stops
talking about babies and you begin to wonder if you can't do better
elsewhere.
You start to fancy a woman with a bit of experience, you know, someone who's
been around, someone who knows the score. But soon after dumping your
girlfriend, you realise you've landed up with someone who is old, boring and
a bit fat. Suddenly all your mates' girlfriends look a lot better than
yours. What the hell have you done?
As it is with girlfriends, so it is with football clubs. And especially down
at Elland Road, where it's a case of 'meet the new boss, worse than the old
boss'.
I'm not really a Leeds supporter these days, but I've got a love hangover
from the Leeds team of 1968-75 when they were the boss team of Europeean, or
even world, football. They were crushingly awesome and my love of them from
those days still lingers on my football soul the way the smell of a lover
stays on your fingers when you're getting a bus to work the next morning.
Forget any other stories this season has thrown up - there is only one truly
shocking tale to tell. And that is how Terry Venables is killing Leeds
United. I mean, Jesus, he's ruined them.
Let's not forget that Leeds, two seasons ago, were awesome in Europe. Let's
not forget that just ten months ago, Leeds were top of the league. Where are
Leeds now? 13th! And knocked out of the Worthington Cup by Sheffield United!
Almost exactly the same players, almost totally different performances. The
difference? Venables.
It's hard to escape the notion that Terry Venables is really, really
terrible as manager of Leeds United.
O'Leary's verbal diarrhoea did him no favours. Nor did the book or his
obsessive infantile witterings about babies, but Jesus, he created a very,
very good side.
Not because he was tactically the best manager or even especially astute in
the transfer market (God knows he splashed enough cash) but because at their
peak, and yes sadly it is a peak now in the past tense, he managed to
organise and motivate the players to play both for themselves and play for
the club.
Now they just seem uncommitted and lazy.
First up is Viduka.
Viduka is too heavy. Modern Premiership players shouldn't be that fat.
Where's the discipline in training? There's no doubt he can be a great
striker when he can be arsed but that doesn't seem to be very often.
Occasionally, he shows phenomenal close control, but this is mostly used
selfishly to make himself look good shortly before losing the ball, often in
a dangerous central position in the last third, allowing sides to hit them
on the break. He's hardly on the score sheet and sometimes it seems that he
couldn't really care either way.
Of course, Viduka looks an even more heavyweight dosser compared to Alan
Smith - 100% Tyke. Smith puts his team mates to shame. Smith isn't
psychotic, he's just pi**ed off that he's got to do the work of three men.
Wouldn't you lose your rag in those circumstances? Smith cares and cares
100%. He gives everything all the time and you can't ask any more than that
of any player.
None of which can be said of Ian Harte, who is beaten to the ball by
slow-moving molluscs. He can't even score from free kicks any more.
And what the hell has happened to Harry Kewell? Once one of the most feared
in the Premiership, he can't have suddenly become poor, so it must be down
to the way he's being managed and motivated. He's not giving nearly enough
for the club.
The same can be said for Lee Bowyer, who seems to have lost all the drive
and energy that made him England material.
Then there's Barmby. Although not without talent, he's an ultimately
ineffective player. Even a casual study of his career tells you this - so
either Venables is stupid or he bought him 'simply because he's one of his
personal favourites. Which is also the reason why Leeds fans are terrified
they will end up with Darren Anderton being wheeled around Elland Road on a
stretcher wrapped in bandages for £20,000 a week.
And what about David Batty? Not long ago Batty was a defensive midfielder
lynchpin. Now he can't get a game in the reserves despite Leeds' poor
defence. Clearly Venables doesn't want Batty but Batty, quite rightly, won't
leave the club that is in his very DNA just to please some Cockney wide boy.
They need his true Yorkshire grit.
And what about selling Keane for £7m? Madness. Firstly, he was worth double
that after a big World Cup, and secondly, all he wanted to do was play and
when he got on he was probably Leeds' only dangerous player. None of which
could be said of porkmeister Viduka. Venables was either blind or stupid not
to realise how much he would need Keane.
And let's look at Mr Venables himself for a moment. He's not really managed
a league club full-time since 1991, when he had only moderate success with
the best squad Spurs have had in 20 years.
Then there was my beloved Boro. He was credited with keeping us up and my
God his media mates won't let us forget it. But it's worth remembering that
he was not asked to make Boro a success, only to keep them up and that's
all. We were far too good to go down anyway.
Venables' career has certainly had little or no success since Euro 96 (and
how good was that really?) and he's had no club success since Barcelona in
the late 80's - now so long ago that anyone who is old enough to vote wasn't
even at school at the time.
I suspect Venables doesn't know how the modern footballer thinks and feels
about the game. I also suspect some think Venables is a fat old man who is
out of touch. Being on telly doesn't make you an expert.
He's supposed to be great at motivation and team bonding, but it's clear
that this is exactly what Leeds lack. Secondly, he is supposed to be a
tactical expert but, as anyone who has watched Leeds will tell you, he's
changed the system the team plays but apparently hasn't told them how to
play the new system.
So, with regards to Venables' two supposed strong points, he's failed
totally at Leeds.
Leeds have a squad of superb players. And, this is the most galling thing
for Leeds fans, the squad is probably better than Man United's, certainly
better than Chelsea's, Spurs' or most of the sides who are currently above
them. In fact, only Liverpool and Arsenal have a better 20, but currently
Leeds are 13th!
Venables was third choice behind Martin O'Neill and Steve McClaren but he
was only a choice at all because of his media presence and media friends.
This also qualifies Des Lynam or perhaps Graham Norton - neither of whom
would have done a worse job.
Here's a prediction: Venables will walk away later this season with a pile
of Leeds' cash and go back to talking about the game on TV. The next Leeds
manager will be left with a club robbed of its potential, with no confidence
and on its knees financially.
It's not right and it's not okay. Leeds fans - get him out now. It's time to
start the chants of Sack the Cockney.
