Originally Posted by
EalingGreen
What do the rest of you think, lads, is it time to let ticktock in on the secret? Sure what the hell, he's clearly passed the point of no return...
You see, supporting a football club is like marriage, only without the possibility of divorce. You fall in love and can't wait to get hitched. Admittedly, you're a little unusual in that you're not yet sure which club is "the one", but you know you want to do it, so that's that.
Sadly, however, once the honeymoon glow wears off, humdrum reality (or worse) sets in. This accounts for the "comfort and complacency" (and corresponding lack of passion) you've observed in other fans.
As for the "passion" you've experienced on this board, do not be deceived - we just want to inveigle another inmate to the ranks, to add some passing interest to our own existence as "lifers", without hope of remission, release or pardon.
One further point. I mentioned that Divorce is not an option for genuine fans. Unfortunately, neither is having an "affair" with some other floozie which "eyes you up" from the back of the home terraces the next time you're "playing away".
For when you're stuck in a real marriage and own up to your mates that you've been enjoying a bit on the side, as often as not they'll dig you in the ribs, slap you on the back and say "Fair play to ye", before drinking your health and enquiring whether she has a sister. (It's the only known occasion in life when jealousy inspires good wishes, btw)
Whereas a football fan who confesses to taking an interest in some other club which is currently on a bit of a run, whilst his own is on a losing streak, will only attract scorn, derision and contempt.
So there you have it and good luck with your choice when you finally do get to stroll down the aisle. As someone who's saddled with a Premier League club of my own (Spurs), I've no doubt you had a lucky escape from your flirtation with Man Utd, for stripped of make-up, jewellery and designer clothes (which you paid for, btw), you'll realise that these "supermodels" are all the same - only out for what they can get.
Far better to stick to some homely LOI lassie; she might be plain, but there's a good chance she'll at least be able to cook! ;)
(With due apologies to any female readers, for the appalling misogyny contained in this post)