Paul Gascoigne (beats his wife, acts the moron on a regular basis, looks like he smells funny)
Roy Keane (ignorant, arrogant, angry man. Completely and utterly self-obsessed)
Ashley Cole (Another desperately stupid man with no reluctance to injures others. Doesn't realise that Cheryl Tweedy is using him to try and wipe away her racist smeer)
Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Diving Scummer who looks like a horse)
Cristiano Ronaldo (Leaving aside the inflated ego and tendency to fall over easily he could do with a brace and some clearasil)
Colin P. O'Brien (Selfish, lazy, unmotivated disaster area. Unpopular with his team-mates too.)
Wayne Rooney (Another glorious example of unbridled ignorance let loose on the football field)
Lee Bowyer (Racist sumbag who got lucky)
Jody Morris (Another scumbag)
Dennis Wise (Short arse with an inferiority complex)
Steven Gerrard (Horrible excuse for a person)
Robbie Savage (Used to have the world of time for him but his recent shenanigans showed him up)
Brendan Markey (Dirty nobody, quote from his old man, "My son was with Milwall"... too bad he's still a talentless bum then)
Andy Goram (Paramilitary wannabe who belongs in a home)
Kevin Muscat (Human nature at its most primitive)
Vinnie Jones (His PR people have scrubbed him up well but he's always be a graceless legbreaker to me)
David Batty (like Jones without the makeover)
El Hadji Diouf (I loathe him because he's the shining example of a stupid, ignorant waster who's hit the big time because he can kick. And spit. Readers of the old eL Messageboard may appreciate that I'm myself holding back here :))
Paolo Di Canio (Another old favourite. Facism's not cool though)
Sinisia Mihajlovic (or however he spells it... the man is a brute. Plain and simple)
Barry Smith (he's Dundee through and through, the fool)
Toto Schillachi (I never quite managed to forgive him for Italia 90)
Jason Kabia (wasn't bad off the field but on it, the man is the archtypal kicking, elbowing, useless journeyman)
Alan Smith (Yet another example of everything that's wrong with our society today cutting lose on the football field. Took a major dump on Leeds too)
Rio Ferdinand (I forgot why... still that's hardly a punishable offence is it?)
Jermaine Defoe (I can't justify this one, he just annoys me)
George O'Callaghan (I'm sure the City fans will attack en masse but his comments about 'nasty foreign types' last year left a bad taste)
Johan Mjallby (left my Celtic team for Rangers once in Championship Manager and I never quite got over it. Especially as I was top of the league Johan, not the huns!)
Rivaldo (The most Brazilian of them all and ever since I was a kid I've been suspicious of them for some reason)