That rag they call the Herald - Roy Keane
In his article titled Keane posed for one more Euro fling? the idiot that is Paul Hyland, who suffers from cronic malnutrition, posed an interesting idea in his recent column. He played with the idea of accepting a phone call from Roy Keane requesting to be included in the European Championship Finals in Portugal should Ireland qualify.
I didn't read on but is this the sort of rubbish a reporter has to come up with to fill his column in this rag...
Can anyone flesh out what I read in the first paragraph?
Silvo?
Re: That rag they call the Herald - Roy Keane
I admit that i'm a big fan of Roy Keane and came down on his side in Saipan, in big part due to my own disgust at the way the FAI run things, especially the LOI.
But this 'article' in the Herald smacks of laziness and desperation to sell a few extra copies on the part of both Hyland and the sports editor. When you use fiction...
Quote:
Originally posted by Xlex
He played with the idea of accepting a phone call from Roy Keane...
to sell newspapers :rolleyes:
Quote:
Originally posted by gspain
The medical thing is just the excuse - if it was true then he wouldn't have gone on the NIKE tour.
To be fair, the Nike tour might have been a marketing drive by Manchester United PLC to break the american market, but it did come after the team were back in, and formed a vital role in preseason training.
I would have loved if Keane had returned after McCarthy left, he's still the best midfielder we have, but i take what he says about extending his club career after the hip operation as true. It's time to move on, i agree with Pete, let the players who get us there formk the panel that represents us (once they maintain their form;) )
The last word on the matter, 2033 AD
An anonymous insider tells me that in thirty years' time we'll hear a suggestion in the Medaeval Herald (it's like depleted uranium, it has a half life of 4000 years, so no luck for anyone still living in Dublin) that Roy, then about 62 or 63, might finally make his come back.
There will be talk for a month or two about how he'll fit back in, whether it might be better for him to play defensive midfield, or how we could actually best fit him as centre back. We will hear how he is still Ireland's greatest player, and that now, more than ever, he might possibly be convinced that to link up with the national team once more. After the success of his hip replacement operation at Cobh University Hospital, it is said that he is fitter than he has been for years, and that he has been seen dancing on Mick Mac's grave with more than usual agility. This has prompted hopes all around the country and re-ignited the raging discussions of will he, won't he, should we shouldn't we, that many had thought had ended over eight years before.
Tommy Bird, Charlie's son, not Tony's, with Tommy Gorman will interview him specially for RTE in his home of Spike Island, which he bought in 2010. Roy will be cordial and show Cathal around the island dragging the now legless body of that poor overwalked dog behind him, as he did everywhere in 2002. Roy will still have a handsome sneer on his face, his remaining strands of grey hair still given a number one blade from time to time. As he stands on the shore of the island, he still looks every part the midfield general, roaring at the local water traffic. "F**k off, ye mainland c***s ye, who the f**k do ye think ye are sailing by my f*****g island", he roars. "Ye can shove yer outboard motors up your b****x". Cathal looks nervous, especially seeing as Roy has editorial control of the piece.
Cathal and the cameraman go into his living room, where we see much of his memorabilia; the United Jersey he didn't get to wear to win the European Cup; Uriah Referee's worn out red and yellow cards; a lump of Ibrox subject of a famous court case, initially thrown at him, then thrown back when he managed a certain Scottish team; Alf Inge's shin-bone; the list of fmaous artifacts here is something that they would kill for in the Supermacs Presents CollinsBarraxWorld themepark.
They settle down the interview, and all is going well, Roy admitting to being a big fan of Telly Bingo and The Lyrics Board. But then Cathal takes that one step to far, that his mother had taken all those years ago. "Roy", he says "would you ever think you will reconsider that hasty decision you made all those years ago? You have had some time to think about it"
"Well, ye know, I don't think that it would be a good idea, I made my decision, and I'll stick with it".
"But surely, Roy, your heart still must be with the country. You must know that all the people in the country are talking about you decision"
"It was a lonmg time ago now, Tommy."
But your fitness is better than it has been. You are looking spry, you have your old aggression, your old hunger, back. Surely, you must have been doing this with something in mind."
"Well, yeah, I'm actually glad you noticed that my aggression was back, my hunger, as I am looking to announce that I plan to launch my career in professional club Ballroom dancing. I've signed with the Longford Slashers' GAA team, who are looking to make a big impression in the European premier division of the formation section. It will be a challenge that I have yearned for since the age of eight. My great pity was that the Manchester United Ballroom Dancing team never really saw it's potential. That and Lord Duke Alex wouldn't risk my fitness with them - he worried about my hip"
"But Roy, the football?"
"I made that decision a long time ago"
"But Roy", said Tommy, with tears streaming down his cheeks, "what about the fans Roy, what about Kylie from Castleknock, fans who have waited their life, and most of their parents to see you play for your country? What about the children, who's constitutional right it is now to hear George commentate poorly on international football, they need you now for this meaningless friendly against Andorra later this month. Surely you cannot dissappoint them?"
"I quite years ago Tommy"
"But Roy, think of the children, what abbout the children"
"Listen you Jackeen pansy boy f****r, if I want to play beside my grandson on a football field, I'll do so in my own back yard! Who the f**k are you interviewing me? You're a c**p interviewer and your parents were c**p interviewers too."
"But Roy..."
Go on now, go on you l****r, get off my island. Get off my island now or I'll set the TV license payers on you."
Bring Paul McGrath and Tony Galvin back too, I say
Re: Re: That rag they call the Herald - Roy Keane
Quote:
[i]
To be fair, the Nike tour might have been a marketing drive by Manchester United PLC to break the american market, but it did come after the team were back in, and formed a vital role in preseason training.
[/B]
Exactly what it was.
However these tours are a nusicance and cause problems - same issue with Real Madrid in Asia.
Now if Roy Keane is pciking his games then surely he should have stayed at home and done a proper pre-season.
Now I may be hard because I realise Taggart put Keane under a lot of pressure to retire and he does likewise with Giggs for Wales etc. Still it does grate.
Giles may well be right. He is one of the bost pundits around and has a great insight.
Still can't see Keane coming back eventhough he looks really fit and in top form. Massive loss as nobody comes close.
Re: Re: Re: That rag they call the Herald - Roy Keane
Quote:
Originally posted by gspain
However these tours are a nusicance and cause problems - same issue with Real Madrid in Asia.
Now if Roy Keane is pciking his games then surely he should have stayed at home and done a proper pre-season.
Now I may be hard because I realise Taggart put Keane under a lot of pressure to retire and he does likewise with Giggs for Wales etc. Still it does grate.
This is beginning to feel like a General football thread, but everyone at United that I've heard says it was great pre-season trip.... Relaxed off the pitch, good facilities for training and decent opposition.... However how much of that was the lack of Beckham, I don't know - and ditto the globe trotters problems in Asia.....
Wasn't it Fergie that helped persuade Keane to stay when the problems first came up in Saipan?
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: That rag they call the Herald - Roy Keane
Quote:
Originally posted by Conor74
Macy, I accept you like Man Yoo, I know you have Mancunian ties, I accept you didn't join up since 1993, I accept you are a genuine football fan...
...but don't even THINK of claiming that Fergie tried to get one of his players stuck in more internationals!!!;) :D
Not actually what I said, but answer the question? :)
Re: Re: Re: That rag they call the Herald - Roy Keane
Quote:
Originally posted by gspain
Now if Roy Keane is pciking his games then surely he should have stayed at home and done a proper pre-season.
how is staying away from the only preseason games your team plays, a fortnight before the season starts doing a 'proper' preseason. :rolleyes:
what would you have him do, walk the dog all day long.;)
I think what Giles said is probably what happened, but i don't think we'll ever see Roy in an Irish shirt again.
