Bertie's Departure Song, tune of (I WILL SURVIVE)
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking Mahon would find out
About my takings on the side
And I spent so many nights
Thinking how I got it wrong
But I grew strong
When I learned how to play along
But then the banks
Those fecking gays
They went and showed the jaysis court
That I got cash from the UK
I shouldn’t have lodged that bloody sterling
I could’ve spent it on me holidays
If I had known for just one second
All the questions it would raise
So off I go, I’ll walk out the door
I’ll go to ground now
‘Cause I’m not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the ones who said it’s time to say goodbye?
Health service crumbled
Property market died
Oh no! Now I
I will resign
Now the **** has hit the fan
And the country’s in decline
I’ve done my share of theft
And no credibility left
So I’ll resign
I will resign
It took all the guile I had
To look the injured part
Keep trying to pretend
The public broke my heart
And I spend oh so many nights
Just looking sorry for myself
But I’m good at lyin’
Inside I’m laughing all the time
And you’ll soon see me
Somebody new
I’ll get my government pension
Hey I’m not done with screwing you
I know how to milk the state
I learned all yer tricks, Haughey
Now I’m saving all my backhanders
For an island off Kerry
Ho ho! Now I
I will resign
And I’ll get three hundred grand
Instead of doing any time
I’ve got an easy life to live
Two ****s I couldn’t give
About your cryin’
When I resign…
