Oz: It certainly moves fast that curry. I don't know why we don't just buy it, then sling it straight down the bog, we could cut the middle man out then.
Oz: I was just telling Barry there, that being married is similar to owning a dog. It's just a pity that one license costs more than the other.
Oz(Whilst taking his clothes off, being strip searched by Customs Officers): You know why I left this country in the first place don't you, I'll tell you. In a word, Margaret Bloody Thatcher, that's why, cos I'd had it, I was up to there with what she'd created. Bloody wasteland. Nee joy, nee hope, nee nowt. Young blokes get to 21 and they have never done a days work in their lives, young kids can buy heroine in the bike sheds at school, phwoar, but I thought arr no, It cannot be as bad as what it was, I was willing to give you lot the benefit of the doubt over this one, but what happens?. What happens is that I've been back on my native soil for ten minutes, and I'm subjected to this, active fascist intimidation, cos that's what it is, you know, that's what it is, and I'll be writing to my MP about this!
Customs Officer:(Putting on a plastic glove to give Oz a body cavity search): Spread!
Oz: What do you think you're going to find up there eh? A bloody new striker for Newcastle Untied?
