Milton Friedman Denied Employment In Hell
*** Breaking news ***
MILTON FRIEDMAN DENIED EMPLOYMENT IN HELL
City of the Damned, November 17, 2006
Milton Friedman, a recently deceased Nobel prize-winning economist, was denied employment today by Hell Inc., causing a public outcry amid the denizens of the underworld. The controversial decision was made by Mr. Lucifer, CEO of Hell Inc., who explained that Dr. Friedman requested an "efficiency wage" above equilibrium level. "He of all people should know that such things do not exist", said Mr. Lucifer. "Given the self-correcting nature of the labor market, we cannot and should not pay our employees more than the current equilibrium wage of two dry beans a day." Dr. Friedman objected that Hell Inc. holds a natural monopoly, but Mr. Lucifer responded that "potential competition keeps any monopoly in check. I'm not sure what Dr. Friedman thinks of us, but he clearly did not have rational expectations when he came here."
Judas, chairman of the Central Bank of the Damned, pointed out that the natural rate of unemployment in hell currently stands at 66.6%, and that he is powerless to do anything to reduce it. "As Dr. Friedman well knows," said Judas, "it would be unwise for us to attempt to peg unemployment below 66.6%, given that such an action would only cause accelerating inflation in the long run. The current economic conditions may seem to indicate that it is difficult for anyone to find a job, but we must remain faithful that the free market will provide." Judas also expressed his support for Mr. Lucifer's controversial call, stating that "he is only doing the rational thing to maximize the profits of his shareholders, which is the only social responsibility of a corporation".
Other high-ranking officials have also backed Lucifer. "I fully support Mr. Lucifer's decision", said Director Ayn Rand of the Department for the Corruption of Youth. "With all due respect to Dr. Friedman, his record of sowing misery and suffering may be impressive, but he has failed to deliver any significant amount of souls our way. His defense of self-interest is based on deeply flawed subjectivist grounds, and his genuine belief that he was helping the world shows a clear sign of moral cowardice."
However, not all are certain that Lucifer made the right choice. "Friedman? I loved the guy," said Ronald Reagan, Chair of the Death Squad Recruitment Project. "Wait, who is he again?", continued Mr. Reagan.
Recently, Mr. Lucifer expressed his willingness to make one concession. "We may review Dr. Friedman's application once President Pinochet arrives with additional information," he said in a press conference.
