When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I
needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything
was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened
suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally
predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I
decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She
rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad
impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as
often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but
directionless. So I decided to
find a girl with some ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced
me and took everything I owned.
I am now 38 and am looking for a girl with very big tits.
THE JOYS OF WOMANHOOD
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race,
you are a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you are a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her...
If you don't work enough, you are a good for nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your
rear and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you are a wimp.
If you don't, you are an insensitive *******.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you are a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you are a pervert.
If you don't, you are gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you are a sexist.
If you don't, you are unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain.
If you don't, you are a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you are after something.
If you don't, you are not thoughtful.
If you are proud of your achievements, you are full of yourself.
If you don't, you are not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she is tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
