Swimming Weather

40 degrees Centigrade
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Ireland sunbathe.

35 degrees
Italian cars won't start.
People in Ireland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees
Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Ireland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees
Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Ireland go swimming.

Zero
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Ireland have the last barbeque before it gets cold.

10 degrees below
People in Miami cease to exist.
People in Ireland lick flagpoles.

20 degrees below
Californians move permanently to Mexico.
People in Ireland throw on a light jacket.

80 degrees below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Irish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival classes until it gets cold enough.

100 degrees below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Ireland pull down their ear flaps.

173 degrees below
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Ireland get frustrated when they can't thaw their beer kegs.

297 degrees below
Microbial life start to disappear.
Irish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 degrees below
All atomic motion stops.
People in Ireland start saying: :Here, is it chilly, or what?"

500 degrees below
Hell freezes over.
Irish people support England in the World Cup.