Genuine extracts from the files of Monaghan County Council
> >
> >Genuine extracts from the files of Waterford County Council Housing
> >dept...
> >
> > "My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage
has
> > fungus growing in it."
> >
> > "He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
> > can't take it any more."
> >
> > "It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow."
> >
> > "I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burned
> > my knob off."
> >
> > "Their 18 year-old son is continually banging his balls against my
> > fence."
> >
> > "I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet
roof.
> > I think it was the bad wind the other night that blew them off."
> >
> > "My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"
> >
> > "I am writing on behalf of my sink."
> >
> > "Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped
> > and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant."
> >
> > "I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
> >
> > "50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
> > plain filthy."
> >
> > "The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is
> > cleared."
> >
> > "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
> >
> > "I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning
at
> > 6.00am his **** wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me."
> >
> > "The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which
is
> > unsightly and dangerous."
> >
> > "Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a
> > third so please send someone around to do something about it."
> >
> > "I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please
> > do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every
night."
> >
> > "Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
satisfy
> > my wife."
> >
> > "I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I
still
> > have no satisfaction."
> >
> > "This is to let you know that our toilet seat is broken and we
can't
> > get BBC2."
