Djibril Cissé

Hello. This is my first thread outside the Ireland section. I don't support any English team and have no bias towards any club qualifying for the champions league 1/4s but I have to say something about this lad!

Has there ever been a more useless high profile premiership player? He can't cross, shoot, pass, stay on his feet, tackle or do anything that would remotely justify playing for any top flight club in a top euro league.

How does he get his game? The only thing he does well with any consistency is drive down to the barbers for a stupid looking haircut.

I just wanted to vent my anger because I do like to see English teams progress in this competition and this guy is such an unbelievable donkey it just does my head in watching him try to play.

Remember George Weah's cousin Ali Dia getting 10 mins for southampton years ago as a fake footballer. Cissé must be a car salesman or something in real life. League 1 would be too good for him.

That is all...

He makes Jason Lee seem like Pele

How many internation caps does he have for France? What was the name of the lad that won a world cup playing up front for them (the one who miussed about 5/6 sitters in the final)?

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Originally Posted by Dodge

What was the name of the lad that won a world cup playing up front for them (the one who miussed about 5/6 sitters in the final)?

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Stephan Guivarch I think - couldn't score in a brothel on international prostitute day.

Cisse is an awful bag of p1ss alright.

I remember seeing pictures of Cisse's wedding (in the mother's copy of Hello) actually and there were lots of Liverpool players but then stuck in the back of the picture was Richie 'Honey Monster' Dunne. Didn't think they were friends.

Stephane Guivarch played for Newcastle and Rangers and was terrible.


Best bit about Cisse is that about a year ago he did a bit interview for the English Independent with a photo spread about how he loved his wife and he was a lord of the manor and all this soft news rubbish.


Recent news stories make that article laughable, allegedly.

Lets leave that side of his life out of it.

far more fun knocking his lack of ability

It pains me to say it but he's not up to Liverpool standards at all...even worse is that he cost £14m :o

yeah i saw some thing on mtv about him and his wife about them getting styled for their wedding. he is a serious tool. also apparently dunphy mentioned this morning about how fifa are investigating his transfer from his last club to lpool-they paid £14 million for him!

Jesus maybe their scout went to the wrong game and thought he was samuel eto'o or something.

comparable high profile prem donkeys would be savo milosevic, juan veron, the spitmeister el hadj diouf and various other liverpool/african clangers but none compare to the hilarity of a cisse effort to do anything on the pitch.

Auxerre must be p*ssing themselves.

In fairness to him, one thing he is not is a winger why rafa insists on playing him wide on the right is beyond me ffs he couldnt cross his legs to stop himself p!ssing.I'm also sick to death of hearing when he's on the bench commentators saying "Bring on Cisse to use his pace to get behind the defence" when if ever has he got behind any defence. Scrap him now and throw morientas into any transfer deal as a make weight.

Cisse is just the ****tiest player France has ever brought to the premiership:D
He can only thank Domenech (a friend of his) for having played a couple of minutes in the WC qualifiers..even though he scored some "lucky" goals..
He's definitly too weak for a club like liverpool.

He won't make it to germany this summer, we already have players like Henry, Trezeguet, Anelka, Saha... unless domenech's card reading tells him to take Djibril instead of Henry :D

I was surprised when he didn't go during the transfer window. He can't cross and has no first touch. Pongolle definitely offered more. I could never see why anyone rated Cisse highly. On the other hand Morientes was a class player at Real and Monaco but it looks like he is not going to regain that form. I can understand why Benitez signed him at the time and has given him plenty of chances to get back on form. Surely they will both be on the way out the door come the summer.

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Originally Posted by Giuly

He won't make it to germany this summer, we already have players like Henry, Trezeguet, Anelka, Saha... unless domenech's card reading tells him to take Djibril instead of Henry :D

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What? Top scorer by 2 clear goals in qualification and ye'd leave him behind? Madness surely, ;)

admittedly, i can't defend him, or would even try to based on his liverpool performances

but he did come to liverpool with an pretty impressive scoring record:
70 in 111 games for Auxerre

it's hard to understand how a player with that scoring record can be so (or become so) poor

maybe i should ask didier drogba

I live to watch english teams get knocked out of Euro competitions so the more Cisses the better.:D

I dont think Cisse knows that in order to cross the ball into the box he has to avoid hitting a player with the ball!!!

Cisse can certainly cross the ball....for example the third goal against CSKA Moscow straight onto Garcia's head. When you only have Crouch in the box it is a little more difficult to get your Beckham crosses that are *the apparent* standard.

Cisse is an excellent player and the most threatening Liverpool striker and with most goals scored. However despite his crossing ability, he should not be played on the right. Benitez will have to a very long way to convince me that letting him go was a smart thing to do.

If he plays him upfront for the length of time he persists with the sh!te that is Morientes, then he can do this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgRh_...arch=liverpool

Variety of goals, all well taken. Not the couldn't kick a barn door, only has pace or power player he is made out to be.:mad:

Dont agree with ya there Cisse is the most brainless high-profile player is have ever come across. And I dont think he can cross the ball at all. If you saw the game you would have seen that Cisse had about 4 chances to cross the ball and evey single one hit the left-back!

How many can Shearer cross? Or Owen? Strikers don't cross the ball...strikers aren't right wingers - for him to even get one cross right as a striker is an achievement.

It's sad that Benitez has made this thread into whether Cisse can cross the ball rather than score.

Shearer can. he's an excellent crosser of the ball.

Get your point though