Roy Keane is a very special little boy
KEANE TO BE SEEN
Roy Keane is a very special little boy, and he's found out that if he holds his breath and stamps his feet, he always gets his way. "Me leave Manchester United if me don't get no big contract," he screamed at Alex Ferguson, and within minutes a huge contract was placed on the table of his high chair. "Me not sharing with no other players on no international tours so there!" he bawled at Mick McCarthy, and soon enough his own set of hotel keys were safely tucked away in the pouch of his romper suit. So last night, when he decided that Ireland's three goalkeepers should not be sitting out of a fun five-a-side match, he squealed at babysitter Packie Bonner that he was going home, held his breath for nearly three minutes, and chundered all down his training bib.
Luckily, his current legal guardian must have known exactly how to placate his stroppy little soldier, because within a couple of hours, Keane had decided that he was going to stay around after all: there hadn't been any training ground foot-stomping, he just had a few "personal problems" to sort out and his knee was playing up a bit. "There is some suggestion this is all to do with a bust-up at training, but that is way off the mark," protested McCarthy too much. "There were suggestions he had a scuffle in training, and I wasn't even aware of that. Packie has bigger arguments with his lad over his homework, it is a regular occurrence in training."
All very confusing. But one thing we do know is that McCarthy must be a very supple man, because it sure ain't easy to massage someone's ego while bending over backwards. "I am glad it is resolved because I want the best chance we have of doing as well as we can in the World Cup and with Roy in the team we've got a better chance, that's for sure," simpered McCarthy. So having established himself as the most important man in the world ever, Keane is not expected to throw another tantrum until he gets back to Old Trafford in a couple of months and screams "me go Celtic if Rivaldo no here" after finding fault with all of Fergie's summer purchases.
From:
The Fiver
