> 20 THINGS WE'VE LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES
>
> 20. During all police investigations, it will be
>necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
>
> 19. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which
>reach up to the armpit Level on a woman but only to
>waist level on the man lying beside her.
>
> 18. The ventilation system of any building is the
>perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of
>looking for you in there and you can travel to any
>other part of the building you want without
>difficulty.
>
> 17. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet
>as you take out a bill just grab one at random and
>hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
>
> 16. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering
>a kitchen at night,you should open the fridge door and
>use that light instead.
>
> 15. Television news bulletins usually contain a story
>that affects you personally at that precise moment.
>
> 14. A single match will be sufficient to light up a
>room the size of Wembley Stadium.
>
> 13. It is always possible to park directly outside
>the building you are visiting.>
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has
been suspended from duty.
11. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered
in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will
wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing
around in a threatening manner until you have knocked
out their predecessors.
10. Police Departments give their officers
personality tests to make sure they are deliberately
assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
9. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a
dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an
eight-year-old child.
8. If staying in a haunted house, women should
investigate any strange noises in their most revealing
underwear.
7. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when
beginning or ending phone conversations.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German
officer, it will not be necessary to speak the
language. A German accent will do.
5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road
it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously
from left to right every few moments.
4. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in
Paris.
3. You're very likely to survive any battle in any
war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a
picture of your sweetheart back home.
2. A man will show no pain while taking the most
ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to
clean his wounds.
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take
cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any
time of the year.
