Aki Riihilahti(crystal palace) on relegation...brilliant reading here
Aki Riihilahti
WHAT CAN I SAY? NOTHING REALLY. There is no word for this. At least nothing that can be printed. Time for heroics, a game of life and death, a football war; they were the most common things said about the last day. Unfortunately, we couldn’t live up to these phrases, and went down in the final moment. Among many others I have used all these words. Not just because we got relegated yesterday, but in any case I would have apologised for it now. I think it is wrong, inappropriate and disrespectful. Not just to the losing team and its people but also for those who have experienced the real meaning of these words.
I realised this last Sunday watching my grandfather at my grandmother’s funeral. Sure I cry and feel pain about football results, it’s my life and this was one of the darkest days of it. However, the view of an old man grieving next to his wife’s coffin is real pain. I felt then embarrassed being worried about a tight hamstring. Like I feel now about being so miserable about football that I broke some furniture at home.
I saw many times a picture in my head that I was going to score the winning goal to keep us in the Barclays Premiership. In that picture I was the hero. I had it again when I came on as substitute in the 90th minute. It didn’t happen. And even my dream, would that have made me any better? Would my grandfather have considered that heroism? The answer lies in the way he lived his life.
Football doesn’t belong in the same sentence with heroism for a young married man going to a war against an enemy ten times stronger. My grandfather saw his friends killed but he still miraculously won independence to my country. He came back to his wife, into a destroyed land and built a happy home. After thin years he built another one. He would have built as many it would have taken. The only time I have ever heard him complain was when the doctor finally banned him from riding a bicycle. The unjust decision was made four years ago when he was 94. Age didn’t matter, he always thanked that he could see his wife one more day. When she passed away there was no next day. Nothing could change that.
I can never forget how brave and honourable he was at the funeral. He was deeply hurt, but still carried it through with dignity. It was heartbreaking but taught me a lesson. Before that I had thought there could be nothing worse than relegation. Sure, my daily worries and life is depended on it. However, it is nothing in the bigger scale, nothing that can’t be fixed, things have to be put into perspective.
I’d have done anything for us to stay up. It is painful and I’ve been crying a lot since yesterday. I put everything into it and still it wasn’t enough. This has a massive impact on my future. Still, it is not a permanent fall. It is not a matter of life and death. It is just a bad outcome. Our team can still look at the mirror because we gave it our best go. We now have to carry adversity honourably. It’s not what happens, more meaningful how you lived it. That ’s my grandfather written all over it.
You can’t choose all the outcomes in life. My grandfather had great years together with my grandmother. His sorrow is deep. I had a chance to experience the Premiership. Crystal Palace and me are still not far from it.
Everyone will experience adversity. And meet grief and sorrow. Those are just the laws of life and you can’t change them. You can look back, though, and see if you’ve given it your best go. That is the choice you can make everyday. To make your best effort for your cause. Be the husband you can be. Or be the honourable person playing football. For me, there has never been a footballer even half a man of my grandfather. His story is heroic. I apologise even writing about him next to a football game.
Palace will always bounce back. And God will bless my grandfather.
