How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of
drinking and thought 'How did I get home?'? As hard as you try, you cannot
piece together your return journey from the bar to your home. The answer
to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter.
The beer scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased out to
the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since
the decrease in the worship of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch
of these magical devices.
The beer scooter works in the following fashion:
The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the slurring
gland begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many
sub-contractors detects the pheromone and sends down a winged beer
scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their
bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal.
It is not cheap to run a beer! scooter franchise, so a large portion of the
passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This generates the second
question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?'.
Beer scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible
for 90% of all UDI (unidentified drinking injuries). Independent studies
have also shown that Beer Goggles* cause the scooter's navigation system
to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom often with
horrific consequences.
17/01/2002, 11:37 AM
dahamsta
The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal.
Or someone else's bedroom. Or their bathroom. Or the gutter...
Actually, come to think of it, the beer scooters have been very kind to me. They've often deposited me in front of my computer, connected me to the Internet, and even posted on forums like this on my behalf. I disclaim all responsibility for those postings though. At last, I have someone to blame!
