Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to
myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come
true than to be selfish and worry about my liver."
- Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning,that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his
fools.
-Ernest Hemingway
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-Catherine Zandonella
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
-Anonymous
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
-W.C. Fields
> > > What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
> > > - W.C.Fields
> > > When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
> > > - Henny Youngman
> > > Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all
of
> > > the time and have the time of your life.
> > > -Michelle Mastrolacasa
> > > I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
> > > - Tom Waits
> > > 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
> > > -Stephen Wright
> > > When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
we fall
> > > asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So,
> > > let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
> > > - Brian O'Rourke
> > > Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol
has
> > > taken out of me.
-Winston Churchill
> > > Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
> > > -Benjamin Franklin
> > > Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
> > > beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but
> the
> > > wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
> > > -Dave Barry
> > >
> > > The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
> > > -Humphrey Bogart
> > >
> > > Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
> > > -Kaiser Wilhelm
> > >
> > > All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's
> > just
> > > do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
> > > - Homer Simpson
I might be drunk but you're ugly and I'll wake up sober in the morning.
- Winston Chuchill to awkward woman.
