2014 Alternative Predictions

Who the feck cares about where teams are going to finish? This is the League of Ireland and whatever Sky say it's the greatest league in the world, even most of the drama occurs in totally unexpected ways and rarely is confined to on field matters.

First Club (if any) to miss wage payments:
First Club (if any) to transfer list entire squad:
First club (if any) to enter examinership:
First club (if any) to get a transfer embargo:
First Club (if any) to be subject to a winding up order:
First Club (if any) to go under completely:
Time until they reappear a division down, magically purged of debt but keeping their history etc:
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year (surely they're due at this stage):
Most bizarre radio diatribe:
What mental thing will happen involving Roddy Collins:
How many times will Bray get relegated?:
Will they actually go down:
List your top three ticking timebombs, financial or otherwise:
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:
Predicted red card count for Bray:
Number of league clubs in Galway next year:
Clubs that will go down in flames in Europe:
Will Waterford threaten to pull out again, why this time?
Most talked about proposed change in league structure:
Actual changes in structure for 2015:
What will happen to Sean Connor next:
This year's weird gimmicky feature on Soccer Republic:
First manager to be sacked:
Something mental has to happen involving Limerick, what will it be:
What version of Derry City will we be on by the end of 2014:
Any other random prediction?:

What will be Corks name by the start of the 2015 season?

How many jumpers will Stephen Kenny lose this season?

First Club (if any) to miss wage payments: Bray
First Club (if any) to transfer list entire squad: Athlone
First club (if any) to enter examinership: Bray
First club (if any) to get a transfer embargo: Derry
First Club (if any) to be subject to a winding up order: Derry
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Bray
Time until they reappear a division down, magically purged of debt but keeping their history etc: 6 months
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 2
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: whole team forgetting shin guards
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year (surely they're due at this stage): 5
Most bizarre radio diatribe: Dundalk FM on their own team
What mental thing will happen involving Roddy Collins: Try and sign Damien Duff in July
How many times will Bray get relegated?: 2
Will they actually go down: No
List your top three ticking timebombs, financial or otherwise: Bray, Athlone, Limerick
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 1
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:
Predicted red card count for Bray: 8
Number of league clubs in Galway next year: 1
Clubs that will go down in flames in Europe: St.Pats, Sligo
Will Waterford threaten to pull out again, why this time? Yes, they finish 3rd and get beaten by Galway in playoff
Most talked about proposed change in league structure: 1 Division
Actual changes in structure for 2015: only 5 teams in the first division
What will happen to Sean Connor next: Become head of youth development for the whole country
This year's weird gimmicky feature on Soccer Republic:
First manager to be sacked: Croly
Something mental has to happen involving Limerick, what will it be: Sign 4 lads from eastern europe who end up never having played football before in their lives
What version of Derry City will we be on by the end of 2014: Derry 4.0

Will Darren Meenan complete his metamorphosis and become a fully fledged chicken?

How many weeks will Dave Barry arrive at RTE on Monday before he cops that MNS is gone?

First Club (if any) to miss wage payments: Bray
First Club (if any) to transfer list entire squad: Bray
First club (if any) to enter examinership:Bray :D
First club (if any) to get a transfer embargo:Pats
First Club (if any) to be subject to a winding up order: Bray
First Club (if any) to go under completely:Bray
Time until they reappear a division down, magically purged of debt but keeping their history etc:2 years
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 0
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year (surely they're due at this stage):143
Most bizarre radio diatribe:
What mental thing will happen involving Roddy Collins: Be easier to ask what wont happen
How many times will Bray get relegated?:6
Will they actually go down:no
List your top three ticking timebombs, financial or otherwise:Pats, Dundalk and Bray
Predicted red card count for Bray: 11
Number of league clubs in Galway next year:1
Clubs that will go down in flames in Europe:All of them
Will Waterford threaten to pull out again, why this time?Because they didnt get their own way
Most talked about proposed change in league structure:One Division League
Actual changes in structure for 2015:None
What will happen to Sean Connor next:Become Chairman of the FAI
This year's weird gimmicky feature on Soccer Republic:God only knows what ****e they will come up with
First manager to be sacked:Alan Matthews/Tony Cousins
Something mental has to happen involving Limerick, what will it be:
What version of Derry City will we be on by the end of 2014:171.2.0
Any other random prediction?:Athlone will win the league. Dundalk finish bottom with Pats losing the playoff to Wexford youths.

There's been way too many mentions of the Unmentionables in this thread......

First Club (if any) to miss wage payments: Derry
First Club (if any) to transfer list entire squad: Drogs
First club (if any) to enter examinership: Boez
First club (if any) to get a transfer embargo:Derry
First Club (if any) to be subject to a winding up order: Boez
First Club (if any) to go under completely: No

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 1
]Most bizarre reason for points deduction: After (yet another) spectacular dive by Alan Keane, he ends up getting his baldy bonce stuck to the Creosote on the fence in front of the away fans, The resulting hilarity from the Away support forces the Ref to abandon the game and the Away team gets deducted 8 points or not being kinder to Sligo players.
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year (surely they're due at this stage): Depends where they go for Lunch
Most bizarre radio diatribe: Trevor Croly saying "at least we lost in the right way" oh wait, that was last year ;)
What mental thing will happen involving Roddy Collins: He'll win something !!!!
How many times will Bray get relegated?: Twice as the norm
Will they actually go down: Course Not
List your top three ticking timebombs, financial or otherwise: Derry, Drogs, Waterford
Predicted red card count for Bray: 180
Number of league clubs in Galway next year: 2, one in each Division
Clubs that will go down in flames in Europe: Sligo
Will Waterford threaten to pull out again, why this time? Yes, Ran out of Blaa's
Most talked about proposed change in league structure: Reserve Division
Actual changes in structure for 2015: None
What will happen to Sean Connor next: Becomes the UN Peace Negotiator for Ukraine
This year's weird gimmicky feature on Soccer Republic: 'JD's Memories', John Delaney tries to piece together the various away trips he's been langered on, then tells us about his love for Man U.
First manager to be sacked: Horgan or Showaddy Roddy
Something mental has to happen involving Limerick, what will it be: They'll change their name to Limerick Munsters, to attract the Rugger Buggers in the summer.
What version of Derry City will we be on by the end of 2014: 5.1
Any other random prediction?: Eamonn Zayed will quit football in the summer to focus on his burgeoning carreer as a Sumo Wrestler, Aidan Price will not score any O.G.'s, Danny North will join Zayed in Japan, Trevor Croly will seem interesting in an Interview, Stephen Kenny will complete his transformation into a Lizard Person.

Number of Sligo squad members to be be "rested" in rehab facility following arduous pre season booz... er training - All

Number of disguises that Fenlon will wear before being being rumbled as Director of Football in Tallaght - 3 ( Mario. Luigi, Joe Pecci)

Number of Liam Buckleys sideburns - None

Number of claimed visa problems preventing Limerick signing top Moldovan and Ngorno Karabach players- 11

Number of Derry fans chasing Roddy back to Dublin over the Foyle by June- 471

First Club (if any) to miss wage payments: Bray
First Club (if any) to transfer list entire squad: Drogs
First club (if any) to enter examinership: Galway FC
First club (if any) to get a transfer embargo: Derry
First Club (if any) to be subject to a winding up order: Cobh
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Waterford
Time until they reappear a division down, magically purged of debt but keeping their history etc: Whenever they are granted their god given right to be in the premier division.
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:2
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:To ensure Bray are not relegated
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year (surely they're due at this stage):2
Most bizarre radio diatribe: Dundalk FM
What mental thing will happen involving Roddy Collins:Getting Derry relegated but having a clause in his contract stating that it can have nothing to do with him!
How many times will Bray get relegated?:Impossible
Will they actually go down:Never
List your top three ticking timebombs, financial or otherwise:Waterford, Limerick, Athlone
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season:2
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:Roddys suit clashes with the opposition colours and is unwilling to wear it inside out.
Predicted red card count for Bray:19
Number of league clubs in Galway next year:2
Clubs that will go down in flames in Europe: Dundalk, Sligo, Derry, Shamrock Rovers....oh hang on, i mean St Pats
Will Waterford threaten to pull out again, why this time?
Most talked about proposed change in league structure:ask Legendz
Actual changes in structure for 2015: Shamrock Rovers B scrapped as other clubs apply.
What will happen to Sean Connor next:Starts coaching GAA.........
This year's weird gimmicky feature on Soccer Republic:League of Ireland highlights
First manager to be sacked: TC
Something mental has to happen involving Limerick, what will it be:Marketfields will be available for use
What version of Derry City will we be on by the end of 2014: The New Derry -TND
Any other random prediction?St Pats install an artificial surface while Dundalk roll in grass. Drogheda submit plans for a new 25k stadium on old coke site with associated housing and retail units and get their 2015 licence by April.

First Club (if any) to miss wage payments: Termonbarry Alberts, but the club sec finds them down the back of the sofa.
First Club (if any) to transfer list entire squad: None, but in an effort to build audience share RTE sack the presenters on Soccer Republic and replace them with Georgia Salpa lip-synching to a Marty Morrissey recording. They never quite get it right, do they?
First club (if any) to enter examinership: Cork, when John Caulfield misreads it as Examiner’s Hip, and thinks it’s a colour supplement in de paper.
First club (if any) to get a transfer embargo: Limerick. They complain bitterly that it’s the only thing they’ve gotten off the FAI in years.
First Club (if any) to be subject to a winding up order: Shamrock Rovers B
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Shelbourne, when the Tolka bursts its banks. On the bright side, the club wins the first division and the inaugural Dublin waterpolo league.
Time until they reappear a division UP, magically purged of debt but keeping their history etc: a wet weekend.
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: All bar one.
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Goody-two shoes UCD are docked ten point for not having any asterisks.
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year (surely they're due at this stage): Just once. But in a bizarre deal, the board put it up for sale on ebay and unwittingly buy it themselves when a club barman clicks the wrong link while googling the league’s all-time leading goalscorer list.
Most bizarre radio diatribe: Albert’s star striker, Johnser Keane, takes a handful of dextroamphetamines instead of his Tourettes meds before going on Shannonside Northern Sound. Listeners are treated to the colourful sounds of an increasingly irate Johnser trying to hump an unresponsive studio chair before he embarks on a foul-mouthed anti-furniture tirade. He is taken down four hours later by an army marksman using an elephant gun loaded with tranquilisers.
What mental thing will happen involving Roddy Collins: Life, in general
How many times will Bray get relegated?: Ha-ha. Good one!
Will they actually go down: See above (which is what most Bray fans will do when they look at the table)
List your top three ticking timebombs, financial or otherwise: (1) Roy Keane’s temper when MO’N tells him to scout the league for the next Roy Keane (2) Roy Keane’s temper when MO’N tells him to scout the league (3) Roy Keane’s temper
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: * This list for asking twice.
Predicted red card count for Bray: None, after the club sign only colour-blind players and travel back in time to 1962, when everything in Ireland was in black and white.
Number of league clubs in Galway next year: 4 Galway, Devon, Mervue and Shamrock Rovers C (known locally as a shower of Cs).
Clubs that will go down in flames in Europe: No flames, but ignition failure all round.
Will Waterford threaten to pull out again, why this time? Yes, when the county secedes from Ireland to join the Republic of Scotland as an Overseas Dependency.
Most talked about proposed change in league structure: The introduction of a national Shamrock Rovers reserve league, with the Hoops supplying all 22 teams.
What will happen to Sean Connor next: becomes the next Rose of Tralee, with Steve Bruce as his escort.
This year's weird gimmicky feature on Soccer Republic: football highlights.
First manager to be sacked: Trevor Croly, but the charity wax is so painful he doesn’t go ahead with the back and crack.
Something mental has to happen involving Limerick, what will it be: for the City of Culture celebrations, Limerick take on a team of Greek philosophers (OK, I borrowed that one!) in a match refereed by Pat Cox.
What version of Derry City will we be on by the end of 2014: 8.3.0. Roddy’s plans for a Liam Coyle patch, which upgrades middling players overnight, is still in beta phase.
Any other random prediction?: Roddy Collins becomes a Trappist monk, and winds up an entire monastery despite taking a voluntary vow of silence.

After a reported 52 yellow cards between the first 10 games of the season, I'd like to add, we may break the one million barrier this season.

First Referee to send off an entire team: Buttimer

[QUOTE=ATFC-1887;1739625]First Club (if any) to miss wage payments: Bray
First Club (if any) to transfer list entire squad: Bray
First club (if any) to enter examinership:Bray :D
First club (if any) to get a transfer embargo:Pats
First Club (if any) to be subject to a winding up order: Bray
First Club (if any) to go under completely:Bray
Time until they reappear a division down, magically purged of debt but keeping their history etc:2 years
Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 0
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:
How many times will Bray get relegated?:6
Will they actually go down:no
List your top three ticking timebombs, financial or otherwise:Pats, Dundalk and Bray

Sounds like you want this to happen to Bray. Not going to happen. Bray are the only team that entered the LOI in 1985 when it was expanded that are still around in the same format without having to re-form in some way.
10 consecutive seasons in the premier division playing within the financial rules.
We've never transfer listed the entire squad, entered examinership, be the subject to a winding up not like other clubs.

Was only joking pal. Would never like to see any club in trouble. And i know myself alot of clubs will get into bother before Bray do.