There’s no such place as Harchester
Someone Tell the Sad Man in the Dreamteam Jersey
If we’d tumble weed it’d tumble with impunity
through this stand out ‘cross that terrace.
Way across this field a mobile sings a Britney tune .
We shake our heads and laugh but feel embarrassed .
We’ll not be invaded by sea and colonised again. Next time it’ll be by Sky.
There are two fine teams on Shannonside. Two more up the coast .
But no-one cares and worse no-one even asks why.
Yet as tall tales go they don’t come any taller
than this wretch or felch or whatever he’s called.
He’s not even a real footballer.
It’s sad that life ain’t fair. It’s sad it won’t get any fairer.
But nothings quite so sad as a dreamteam jersey wearer.
Pass and go Mr. Bandele, tell me can you do this really ?
Or will you pass and stand there looking at me like a dipstick?
On your feet Mr. Bandele, he only grazed you really .
On your feet kid you'll want to be touching up your lipstick .
You folks with homeground at whichever end of Seven Sisters Road .
Don’t it wind you up the way they style it?
So don’t patronise the dragons lair, pulverise it from the air.
Though it’s mostly just Goodison Park tinted violet .
Yet as tall tales go they don’t come any taller
than this wretch or felch or whatever he’s called.
He’s not even a real footballer.
It’s sad that life ain’t fair. It’s sad it won’t get any fairer.
But nothings quite so sad as a dreamteam jersey wearer.
There’s two grand clubs in Manchester .
There’s no such place as Harchester !!!
Fine old sides by the Lagan, by the Liffey and the Lee .
There’s a great team on the Aire and a few more ‘cross the Mersey .
Tell the sad, sad man in the dreamteam jersey .
It’s sad that life isn’t fair. It’s sad it won’t get any fairer.
But nothings quite so sad as a dreamteam jersey wearer.
But nothings quite so sad as a dreamteam jersey wearer.
But nothings quite so sad as a dreamteam jersey wearer.
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