Alex Ferguson M.D.

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11/10/2004, 11:45 AM
Bondvillain

Alex Ferguson M.D.

Conflicting reports in the press today:
IRISH INDEPENDENT (Circulation :150k) "Midfield general Roy Keane is believed to be a doubt for Irelands World Cup Qualifier against the Faroe's on Wednesday. The 33 Yr old is understood to have picked up a knock in Saturdays scoreless draw with France"

DAILY FERGUSON (Circulation: 1) Medical Superhero Alex Ferguson's worst fears were proven correct this morning, as the slight 'click' sound he heard in his Manchester home on Saturday night turned out to be Roy Keanes aul' Knee giving him gyp, several hundered miles away in Paris. Ferguson, who has diagnosed many serious injuries to his players on international duty via the telly before, was particularly proud of this diagnosis, as he wasnt even watching the match, simply using his highly-honed "Fergie-sense" to detect that his favourite son was experiencing some discomfort. "A flight to manchester is the only treatment for a Knee Gyp injury such as this", said a majestically wise ferguson today, " and none of this Faroe Island Bollockology, thank you very much."
Ferguson is expected to diagnose other maladys later today for O Shea (Suspected narcolepsy) Miller (Possible Infected bum from Bench splinters) and Mssrs. Sylvestre & Saha (Frenchness. Incurable)
11/10/2004, 12:31 PM
petef

Class. Far too tired here to come up with genius such as that.
11/10/2004, 1:03 PM
tricky_colour

Yep a class post, only took Fergie two days to diagnoise it too.
Just in time diagnosis.
12/10/2004, 1:16 AM
tricky_colour

Actually Kerr says Keane will be fit, a bit of satire can work wonders
on a fictious injury :p
12/10/2004, 12:30 PM
LadyJane

Bondvillain has gone quiet all of a sudden.
Do u think Mr Ferguson 'sent the boys round' because he was too close to the truth? :cool:
12/10/2004, 12:52 PM
Bondvillain

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyJane

Do u think Mr Ferguson 'sent the boys round' because he was too close to the truth? :cool:

Thanks for your concern, but because he sent Rio Ferdinand around, I'm perfectly fine.

He arrived late at my next door neighbours house then forgot why he was there in the first place.

:D
12/10/2004, 2:14 PM
tricky_colour

Good job he didn't sent Keane around he would have a arrived
early and would perhaps be on another assault charge :p
12/10/2004, 3:01 PM
green goblin

Quote:

Originally Posted by tricky_colour

Good job he didn't sent Keane around he would have a arrived
early and would perhaps be on another assault charge :p

nah. He'd have to nip home and change his pants again first :p
13/10/2004, 12:00 AM
tricky_colour

Quote:

Originally Posted by green goblin

nah. He'd have to nip home and change his pants again first :p

Yes thats exactlly what I was liable to think, having said that it is clear to
me that Keane if a good, decent, honest and honourable man, the type
of which are unfortunately fairly scarce on the earth.