Waterford 3-2 City - ratings

I'm beginning to suspect that Dublin City FC (indeed, football in general) is just an elaborate practical joke designed to break my heart. How else can one explain the pattern of last night's match; 0-3 down at half time, 2-3 down with thirteen minutes left, penalty against the upright in the 90th minute - a script so cornily melodramatic that it reads like one of Steven Spielberg's efforts (without the happy ending.)

If that's the third-best team in the country, and we're supposedly the worst, then the league table is a sham. Last night's defeat was a major blow, but, in truth, one point instead of none wouldn't have made much of a difference. The important thing is that we came back from three goals down away from home (even if it wasn't consummated on the scoreboard, we still did it) and proved that, if only we could cut out the stupid defensive errors, we'd be pushing for Europe rather than fighting relegation.

Oh, and Waterford are the least likable bunch of unsportsmanlike, timewasting would-be bully boys ever to have besmirched the eircom League. There must surely be some official censure forthcoming for their clearly deliberate failure to post ball-boys behind the goal City were attacking in the second half. If I tell you that Alan Reynolds was by no means the worst offender, you might get some flavour of the depths to which they sank. Maybe he didn't like the look of his last Autoglass bill.

Barry Ryan: 6
Screw the expense - we need to have those flourescent orange keepers' jerseys ceremonially burned, or at the very least exorcised. They seem to instill in even the most competent goalkeeper a sense of panic and uncertainty akin to that of a eunuch in a brothel. Thrown in at the deep end for his first competitive appearance in months, Barry flapped and punched feebly at a number of crosses, and almost conceded a goal by needlessly chasing a long ball into the corner. Not conspicuously at fault for any of Waterford's goals, however, and his pedigree is indisputable. Some UCD-style heroics wouldn't go amiss.

Tony O'Connor: 6
Didn't look comfortable in his brief time on the field. Worrying to see him pick up another injury so soon after his return to first-team action.

Keith Foy: 8
Pinged some superb forty-yard passes to the front two, and flew into a couple of challenge with encouraging bravado. Desperately unlucky not to score with a goalbound first-half free-kick which just clipped the wall and crept over the crossbar. Absolutely no blame to be attached for missing the last-minute penalty, which was struck within an inch of perfection.

Derek Griffin: 4.5
Mistimed so many headers and challenges that he seemed to be operating in a different timezone to everyone else. Is two consecutive decent performances from a centre-half (any centre-half, I don't care who!) really so much to ask?

Chris Deans: 6
Another player afflicted by the jitters that plagued what might, with a certain amount of latitude, be described as City's defence all night. Pulled himself together somewhat after the break. Chris is an hugely promising player who will go on to far greater things, but he needs to learn that there are ways to pass a football which don't involve slashing it blindly forward first time everytime.

Dave McGill: 7
Saw little of, and did less with, the ball in the first half. Improved thereafter, and one lovely dribble and lay-off was a joy to behold. I'm not sure Gary O'Neill will be entirely thrilled with Dave for stealing what might have been his seventh goal of the season (relax, Gary, it might not have gone in without Dave's touch.)

Cathal O'Connor: 5
A poor substitute for Killian on the left, particularly when he's not in form. A confidence player who just need a few tricks to come off, but may struggle to retain his place in the first team until that happens.

Paul Crowley: 6
Partly to blame for Waterford's first goal, but put in the effort we've come to expect over the past three year and got beyond the front two on several occasions (not that we should be relying on Paul to do that.)

Jason Colwell: 5
Did little to stem the marauding blue tide that swept over City's midfield at regular intervals. Repeatedly hooking the ball over one's shoulder to a waiting opponent is an interesting tactical experiment which can safely be filed under "Ill-advised."

Gary O'Neill: 6.5
So he is human after all. Gave the ball away with shocking and infuriating regularity, but still posed City's most obvious goal threat. Seems, bizarrely given his form and record, to be lacking in confidence in front of goal. Personally, I'd like to think he was just trying to throw Partick Thistle off the scent...

Philly Hughes: 6
Philly won't thank me for this, but he's perhaps better suited to the role of supersub. When the game is stretched and legs heavy, he can exploit the space that opens up behind defenders. Last night's audition for the title of World's Smallest Target Man was endearing but ultimately futile.

SUBS

Barry Burke: 7.5
The direct causal link between Barry's introduction from the bench and the immediate, ten-fold increase in the urgency of City's play should not be overlooked when it comes to picking the first XI for future games. His energy and industry wouldn't go amiss in midfield, either.

Wes Byrne: 7
Took over as de facto captain when called from the bench, leading by example with a wholehearted performance and a brave headed goal.

Ray Scully: 6.5
Few would have suggested using up our final substitution by introducing Ray, but he made a decent contribution and at least looked up for it.