Your Drunk Stories

I'll start....went to a friend's housewarming party in the east of Tokyo, about 2 hours from where I live.
Arrived about 2pm, I proceeded to drink regularly for about 6 hours with only peanuts/crisps/other snacks to eat.
Planned to head home about 8, to arrive around 10. However, after leaving the party, I wandered around for about 30 minutes trying to find the station, which I apparently did, even though I have no memory of it. I fell asleep, woke up about 2 hours later in a station I'd never heard of.
I desperately tried to find a train to Shinagawa, which would put me on the right train line home, but I couldn't fine one.
Finally, the train service stopped, and I had 4 hours to kill until the station reopened. I passed this time in a convenience store toilet, until I was "asked" to leave, then a stairwell, finally just walking around until the station opened.
I had a further 45 minutes to kill, which passed peacefully in a station toilet.
Eventually, I got on the train home, but kept falling asleep, so I went past my stop once or twice.
To top it all off, I lost my bag, which contained my phone charger, and my house and car keys. Nissan told me it will cost about 150 euros to replace the key, as it is the one with the automatic lock/unlock function.

All in all, one of the worst nights of my life.

Who's next?

I've got some great ones, but just can't remember any of them!

my debs night i hooked up with thsi girl i really liked... she had a rep of being easy... so anyway after all the meal dancing and getting drunk the whole party went back to the lesuire plex 24 hour and the sorts ya know yourself.. i smuggled a nagan of vodka in with the help of MS.X and we proceeded to get drunker.. so anyway she suggested we go home so we left and rang a cab but none would come for 2 hours and the next train was in an hour so we didnt order the cab so we decided to go up a dark alley.. classy bird ;) anyway after a few fubmles anyway it turned out she had a tattoo right bellow the belly button so just as we am... ya know got to the stage she stopped and asked me "do you have one?" so i remembered i had left my bag inside(had a bag as i was organising stuff) with the condoms in it..

so i paniced and said ill get one right away.. ran all the way back inside grabbed my bag and ran all the way back to the alley... where i met the girl fully dress and in a very odd mood....

she had meant did i have a tattoo...... ;)

Why I no longer drink Vodka -
When I was 18 I was on a night out at the OASIS in Carrick. Had a "Party Piece" I did back then that involved downing a pint of Smithwicks in one followed by a vodka shot. This particular night, the six lads I was out with challenged me to do it as usual only with six shots, one purchased by each of them. Having asolutely no sense back then I agreed. Last thing I remembered before leaving the oasis was somehow ending up in the ladies toilet and was snogging some chick. Next I knew I was back in Navan on the bus witha pool of vomit at my feet - my desert boots ruined. Three of my friends then helped me home. I then headbutted my best mate who had carried me to my front door. Later on that night I ****ed on my dog and walked into my parents room naked. All in all. (The latter two events I have no memory of but was told by my horrified parents the next day.

Speaking of Tokyo, during the world cup I woke up one morning in an elevator in an pretty tall building. I was curled up in the foetal position wearing an Irish jersey, and leprauchan hat and a few scarves, there were two people in the elevator when I woke up looking at me kinda weirdly. Dont know how many people had ridden the elevator while I was conked out in it. My last recollection of the night before was buying ice cream for myself and two Japanese girls, who then started to kiss while eating the ice cream and invited me to join in, no idea what happened after that.

stole a car from outside a pub I used to work in and drove it up to manchester after about 14 pints. well i didnt my mate did, he had about 12. :(

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Originally Posted by osarusan

Eventually, I got on the train home, but kept falling asleep, so I went past my stop once or twice.

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god how many times have i done that on the tube in london

vodka is a terrible drink! but i bloody love the stuff

Knew i would be doing some serious drinking with a few eastern europeans, so warmed up beforehand with a bottle of potteen.......needless to say was rat arsed on arrival.............more hard spirits..vodka........bulgarian stuff...etc..............got sick.......started fights...........ended up asleep on the toilet.........where a gay bulgarian fcuker proceeded to "play" with me!!! luckily i cant remember that part, and he left my back passage alone (thank god)

there are other stories........like nearly been kicked out of college on a drugs/booze binge............but i leave it at that!

Slept in Longford train station one night. I was about 16/17. It was after a Shels/Longford game during Euro 2004 (I think). Anyway, after the game 4 of us (all underage) headed to a boozer, think it was Johnny Brown's or something like that. So we were getting served all night and before we knew it there was a lock-in. We got kicked out eventually at 3ish. From there the only thing I can remember was being awoken by an Irish Rail worker, who told me to go lie down inside as it was warmer :p. I had fallen asleep standing up with a can of dutch gold in my had hand and woke up exactly the same. We got the first train home which was coming from Sligo and there happened to be a Westlife gig in Dublin that day so had to stand all the way home :mad:. Got back into Dublin, got something to eat, hung around for a while then went to the Bohs/Rovers game :eek:. Great night

A couple of years ago after a night out went back to the gf's house. Fell asleep. Few hours later woke up in the corner to find myself in mid-**** and destroyed the carpet......................

I once killed a drifter to get an erection, judging by the stories here I'm still a better human being than most

Better than me anyway Jebus. I famously mistook Longford Town for a football team once...

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Originally Posted by Bluebeard

Better than me anyway Jebus. I famously mistook Longford Town for a football team once...

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Yes you have a good few stories don't ya Bluebeard :D

This thread will be full next Monday as we will all be still a mess on Sunday.

I'm just glad I don't drink any more :(

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Originally Posted by AidoM

I'm just glad I don't drink any more :(

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or any less :eek: :D

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Originally Posted by jebus

I once killed a drifter to get an erection, judging by the stories here I'm still a better human being than most

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:D

I fell off a gable wall once while hammered. Building (derelict) was pretty high too. I'm guessing I was about 3 storeys up/30-35 feet. Decended through the branches of a tree and had real time to think about it on the way down.
Landed in nettles, lay there for a period of time we've never quite managed to quantify, staggered away eventually and rejoined the "party" before passing out.

I'd some cuts, bruises and not as many stings as I should've got but that aside ...walked away from it. Didn't seek proper medical attention which was the really stupid thing.

A couple of years later I went for X-rays (unrelated of course) where it became evident I'd cracked two ribs at some stage in the past but they'd knitted. :o

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Originally Posted by Schlooooomp

Speaking of Tokyo, during the world cup I woke up one morning in an elevator in an pretty tall building. I was curled up in the foetal position wearing an Irish jersey, and leprauchan hat and a few scarves, there were two people in the elevator when I woke up looking at me kinda weirdly. Dont know how many people had ridden the elevator while I was conked out in it. My last recollection of the night before was buying ice cream for myself and two Japanese girls, who then started to kiss while eating the ice cream and invited me to join in, no idea what happened after that.

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Speaking about Sleeping in Elevators....Was in San Francisco a few years back. Went out one night with a group of 6/7 mates. It was only a tuesday and not much going on so we said we'd take it handy. Went to the nearest pub and stayed there for the night... Since we were the only people in the bar, he was happy with any custom so filled us with shots for the night!! My next memory is waking up in the hostel on the bedroom floor. I was subsequntly told that me and another of my mates were found asleep in the elevator at three in the morning. And instead of helping us into our room our mates just left us there. Somehow we made it out of the elevator and into the hallway of the hostel, fell asleep again on the floor for a few hours until a random lad staying in the hostel saw us and got worried, he woke the other lad up. And he brought me to my room. I had no memory of this of course.:D:D

My Parents love that anecdote. :D they must be so proud!

Oxegen 2005 and I'd been drinking all sorts of concoctions throughout the day that my mates had made for me, had a few drinking races etc. Sh*tfaced drunk by the end of the night. So we get back to the campsite, where earlier 2 of my mates had filled my tent with Revels (little balls of chocolate). When we got back they told me that a load of rabbits had been in my tent and had sh*t all over my tent and all my belongings in it. Of course, me being in the state i was in, I believed them. Gutted I was. So I walked all around the campsite asking anyone if they'd seen any rabbits around the campsite. The reactions I got were a tad strange to say the least. This went on for ages, my 4 mates were at a distance falling about the place laughing.

Was in Sligo a few months back for a mate's birthday (he's in college there). Arrived late and so was forced to play catch up with the rest of the people there. So my mate comes over with a litre of Skittles vodka and a can and pours it all into m within 5 mins. Was grand for a whie, then it struck. Last thing I remember is standing on some street in Sligo eating a burger, next thing its morning and I wake up in me jocks with a small blanket across me. Apparently locked meself in the jacks in the apartment and passed out across the jacks after vomiting everywhere. Have no idea what else may have happened.

Several other stories from several pubs across Navan and ending up sleeping on the streets of Dublin a couple of nights but thats enough.

Oh yeah and Im only 19 :o

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Originally Posted by Schlooooomp

Speaking of Tokyo, during the world cup I woke up one morning in an elevator in an pretty tall building. I was curled up in the foetal position wearing an Irish jersey, and leprauchan hat and a few scarves, there were two people in the elevator when I woke up looking at me kinda weirdly. Dont know how many people had ridden the elevator while I was conked out in it. My last recollection of the night before was buying ice cream for myself and two Japanese girls, who then started to kiss while eating the ice cream and invited me to join in, no idea what happened after that.

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Unbelievably that beats the story as to how your acquired your username. Which also deserves to feature in this thread (possibly told by Ash or one of the UCD lads who were resident in the famous Faroese campsite that morning).

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Originally Posted by OneRedArmy

Unbelievably that beats the story as to how your acquired your username. Which also deserves to feature in this thread (possibly told by Ash or one of the UCD lads who were resident in the famous Faroese campsite that morning).

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I have numerous stories but some of them I am afraid to put them up here in case it causes the ruin of my burgeoning career but I will relay the Faroese camp site one.

I need to put some context around the Faroese story. We flew out to the Faroe Islands the day after playing Israel, Ash, Loudy McLoud, another fella that doesn't post here and myself. Well, the night before the flight we didn't get much sleep and spent the night drinking, my flight to Stansted was actually later than the other lads, so they decided to go into to London for a couple of hours, I landed in Stansted on my ownsome. However, I was saved, as the Scots were heading to somewhere in Eastern Europe and I started drinkin with those boys. Well nedless to say I was getting drunker as the day was going on, Ash and the boys came back to the airport and we continued to drink. I'm actually surprised I was let on the plane coz I was pretty drunk at the time. Am sure there were shenanigans at the airport with plates of sandwiches and security jackets but I can't remember the most of it.

Now if I remember correctly the beer on the flight was free, well what is a man going to do, exactly, drink more. I think that we drank the plane dry on that flight, thats nothing new for a flight full of football fans. I think that I proposed marriage to all of the air hostesses and possibly a few lads on the plane as well. At some stage the air hostesses put me down the back of the plane for being a naughty boy, there I was quarantined for the remainder of the flight.

We managed to land in the Faroes (unlike Davey :D), the pilot of the plane had a big blond head on him so on landing and heading to the terminal I think I kinda accosted him and told that "I'll fly with you anytime 'Ice Man'", he was cool though, he laughed (I hope).

So we got the bus from the Island on which we landed to Torshavn. That journey is kinda a blur.

The bus stopped quite close to Cafe Natur, Ash, Loudy and he whos name I don't mention decided to seek out the camping site, I, on the other hand was on a roll. It was straight in to Cafe Natur for me, there were a few straggling Swiss fans there so I got drinkin with those lads. Unfortunately, they were Young Boys (BSC) supporters, needless we had to sing a few Irish songs and Young Boys songs. When the lads arrived back into Cafe Natur I was singing songs about how I loved Young Boys (Blue Beard moment), Y-O-U-N-G Young Boys, they were sound lads.

Anyhow, as you can imagine I at this stage was pretty rotten but we continued to drink until it was closing time and that was pretty late. Finally, it was time to head to the campsite, on the way home I fell out with myself or the lads, or myself and the lads, who knows. Well that caused our seperation and as I hadn't visited the campsite earlier I hadn't a clue where it was. I walked around for an age, eventually ending up in what seemed like an industrial estate type area. Finally a car came along and I flagged it down, there was a woman driving it and in fairness she offered me a lift. I tried to communicate that I wanted to go to the campsite but I ended up back at Cafe Natur, fair play to her anyway, the Faroese were nice people. (Apart from the sheep shagger who I threw out of Cafe Natur.)

Well I decided to bunk down for the night, at the bottom of a stairwell beside Cafe Natur. I woke up a couple of hours later having sobered somewhat sufficiently to make a second attempt to find the campsite. I headed off in the same general direction as the previous night and after some wandering I managed to find the campsite.

My next problem was that I didn't know what tent Ash was in, I didn't bother bringing a tent with me. In the campsite there were as many old Icelandic/Germanic people with their huge RVs as there were Irish supporters. There were a couple of women up at this stage preparing their breakfasts for the day ahead, I sat down on a kerb, stared at them for a while, said "Good Morning" to them and then conked out and fell over on the ground. My next recollection is waking up at the same time as one of the women is recollecting my appearance from nowhere to others in the group, what I heard was "Gud morning zen schlooooomp".

And there is how Schlooooomp came about.

I managed to finally find Ash's tent by shouting "Marco" and finally I heard "Polo", if you hear myself and Ash shouting Marco - Polo, you now know where it came from.

:D:D

The Faroes was by far the best trip I was on (bar the World Cup). I hoped that we drew them again this time around.

I had completely forgotten about your undieing love for Y-O-U-N-G B-O-Y-S
Young Boys and the hang sangages at Standsted were class :D

Another drunken story involving Schlooomp and meself was a college session
way back in the 1999. I had taken a year out after 2nd year so when I went
back for the Dip, Schlooomp was gone into 4th year. Anyway, as part of 3rd
year I had to do work placement so we had a bit of a session cos I was
finishing up exams early.

We had a heap of cans in the house and then I decided I wanted to get the
side/cuff of my ear re-pierced cos it had filled up. Schlooomp decided he'd
go for it too. A right pair of cool dudes to be sure!

So we wandered the streets of Sligo looking for somewhere to do it and
eventually get an auld lad in a jewellers to sort us out. Now yer man didnt
look like he had a clue what we were on about but after questioning him he
assured us he had been peircing sides and tops of ears for over 20 years.
Needless to say he fcuked it up so I ended up taking mine out :eek:
(the stud people !!!) but Schlooomp left his.

Back to the house and after a 4 Star Pizza and 2 crates of Dutch Gold ....
a bottle of poitin was produced. So we tore into that and then hit the pub
(Fureys I think) for a few more before heading in to Equinox.

Next think I know I wake up on the side of the river at JFK Parade at about
7 in the morning. A bit disorientated I wander around for a bit .... only to
see Schloooomp conked out on the other side of the river ... with his ear
covered in blood where the stud had been forcefully removed.

I had forgotten that I was living just around the corner on Castle St so we
ended up walking back to Schlooomps place somewhere on the old Bundoran Road I think!!!!

Good times :D