In a shocking turn of events Bohemians are set to announce the return of double winning manager Roddy Collins this morning. The former boss stepped down from his post with strugglers Monaghan United, following his appointment in Dublin, and has already begun to reform the dream team.
In an equally shocking move his former sidekick Pete Mahon has arrived at the club to take over the straight man role following years in the wilderness. "It's great to be back, this is where it all started after all and after UCD and other clubs, it's just a delight to be with a big club again, no disrespect to Belgrove," he told this reporter last night.
Collins signing will be announced at the clubs regular haunt, the Four Courts, this morning with further moves about to be announced, though the former Mansfield Town player was forthcoming with his information.
"Some friends of mine contacted me with a business proposal, it's out of this world, and this is going to put this club where it should be. I got the email from them last week and as soon as I sent them on the main details, we sealed the deal when I ran, literally ran to the post office to send them on the $1,500. It's a windfall, not doubts about it. I always had great resepct for Babatunde and the lads, we could end up with a few of their lads over with us and all." Asked if he'd consulted anyone on such a move he was adamant in his speed of action. "After I sent the deposit I called Sir Alex, he told me, "Roddy, you're mad. Nobody could have done what you did." I agreed with him, it was almost like keeping Carlisle all over again. Now we just have to wait for the $5million to be sent to my account and this club will go places."
The Bohs remaining board members were unavaiable for comment, though one in the members bar smiled at the story. "I'm not really au fait with all of this, but I was outvoted. That's democracy," he began weeping as he picked up his glass of brandy, pocketed his revolver and went off into the dark bowels of the home of Irish football.
In an unrelated incident, tens of thousands of Shamrock Rovers fans held a candlelight vigil outside St. Peters Church after hearing the news break of the appointment on Dublin's 666 MW. When asked for comment the apparent leader pushed back his hood, took down his umbrella and sadly smiled "I've never been as happy as the day we got Tallaght, though winning the League was a little better, with this new miracle happening across the road, we all decided to meet and pray for a lease to be signed with SDCC for our own ground, anything can happen. It's like, the Santry cimeback all over again."
On the topic of his silent departure from Monaghan Collins was straight. "It was a hard move to make, the family just didn't settle, so much travel, no indoor plumbing. Even young Rod being advised to marry his first cousin, I mean, it's just so far away from home. Though fair play to the club, they're stronger now since I've been there and even since I left."
The Monaghan chairman refused to comment, saying that he was unable to find the signed contract for Roddy Collins, and it was dark in the office and he wasn't going to shell out the price of a candle after paying out all them tolls.
So it begins, a new dawn for Bohs and Irish football.
"It's the Champions League group stages for us at a minimum. When the money comes through from Babtunde I'm going to strengthen the squad in the summer. Paddy McCourt said he'd come over for a look, I've even had a call from George Weah, he said his cousin's looking for a club, so with a network like that you can't go wrong. I'm even getting a new suit made up by Louis for the launch. It'll be like the old days."
- Evening Gerald
- Maden Claremorris
-01-04-11
