Mr A's Continuity Predictions Thread 2011

Balls to the football- we all know that is not what the LOI is about. It's just what keeps us amused between the real bits of drama.

So let's have real predictions for 2011. Feel free to suggest more.

Number of times structures fall over in Carlisle grounds:
Team to receive most red cards:
First manager to go, and why:
First to miss wage payments (after the start of the season):
First to have a major financial crisis:
First to launch a fundraiser saying they need €x to survive, then raise less than half x but continue along anyway (again, we'll have to limit this until after the start of the season):
Most likely to go belly up completely:
Number of threads started this season proposing new league structures:
Likelihood of anyone ever getting relegated from the premier for football reasons (ever):
Who will employ Nick Leeson next? Third time lucky after all.
First points deduction and reason:
Most bizarre points deduction:
Likelihood of any meaningful reform of licensing:
How many pages will the thread bitching about the Dublin Super Cup run to:
Most bizarre thing the FAI gets blamed for:
Likelihood of a Shamrock Rovers fan explaining the accumulated losses of their holding company:
Most bizarre reason for a fixture postponement:
How many times will Con get the giggles on MNS:
What will their weird time filler this year:
Odds that in the good the bad and the ugly bit they just show a picture of Bobby Ryan in the last category every single week:
How many fans will smite other fans with umbrellas this year:

Edit for extra ones:
Which club's fans will be next to 'boycott' foot.ie?
And how long will they actually stay away?

Who will employ Nick Leeson next? Third time lucky after all. The FAI

Number of times structures fall over in Carlisle grounds: Once.
Team to receive most red cards: Dundalk, obviously.
First manager to go, and why: Ian Foster. Because he whines so much he even starts to annoy himself.
First to miss wage payments (after the start of the season): UCD. The peer pressure finally gets too much.
First to have a major financial crisis: Sligo.. the statement from their outgoing chairman seemed very worrying.
First to launch a fundraiser saying they need €x to survive, then raise less than half x but continue along anyway (again, we'll have to limit this until after the start of the season): Sligo
Most likely to go belly up completely: Drogheda, based on what has come out of their in the past months.
Number of threads started this season proposing new league structures: 25
Likelihood of anyone ever getting relegated from the premier for football reasons (ever): Evens
Who will employ Nick Leeson next? Third time lucky after all. Manchester City
First points deduction and reason: Limerick. For being a bit too smart for their own good.
Most bizarre points deduction: Limerick again. This time because a number of their fans forget to cut holes in their rubber bandits head gear and die during the match.
Likelihood of any meaningful reform of licensing: Hahaha.
How many pages will the thread bitching about the Dublin Super Cup run to: 75
Most bizarre thing the FAI gets blamed for: The political situation in Tunisia.
Likelihood of a Shamrock Rovers fan explaining the accumulated losses of their holding company: Yeah, right.
Most bizarre reason for a fixture postponement: Wexford fixture cannot take place because Mick Wallace is tearing about the pitch on a big white horse and trampling people.
How many times will Con get the giggles on MNS: Monthly at least.
What will their weird time filler this year: A player a week strips for Jacqui while she stares at them with unconcealed desire.
Odds that in the good the bad and the ugly bit they just show a picture of Bobby Ryan in the last category every single week: Zero. It'd be as funny as feck though.
How many fans will smite other fans with umbrellas this year: 150 (later revised down to 3)

Number of times structures fall over in Carlisle grounds:
Just one, when the stands fall back to reveal that the stadium has been Pat Dolan in disguise all along.

Team to receive most red cards:
Pats, after Buttimer red cards the entire team for refusing to play after the sad departure of their manager.

First manager to go, and why:
Pete Mahon, keeling over when his spleen attempts to throttle Buttimer for suggesting that Pats jerseys are too similar to Dundalk's for his liking, leading to the above.

First to miss wage payments (after the start of the season):
Galway, after it turns out that Nick Leeson has their cheque-book.

First to have a major financial crisis:
Monaghan, when their hot-dog stand struggles to break a fifty. (Crises are relative, people.)

First to launch a fundraiser saying they need €x to survive, then raise less than half x but continue along anyway (again, we'll have to limit this until after the start of the season):
Shams, when it's revealed that they sold Tallaght, twice, to pay for Ronan Finn. And yes, Shams don't own Tallaght.

Most likely to go belly up completely:
Pat Dolan, sunbathing. Too late, you've already pictured it.

Number of threads started this season proposing new league structures:
21!

That's 21 factorial, or 21x20x19x18...x3x2x1 or 5.10909422 × 10^19.

All but three of them will be started by that Legendz bloke.

Likelihood of anyone ever getting relegated from the premier for football reasons (ever):
There's a formula for this: P A / L h.
That's the product of Pat Dolan's mass and the area served by Sporting Fingal divided by the product of Avogadro's number and Planc's constant.

Sadly, A is a function of time, and A(2011) = 0.

Who will employ Nick Leeson next? Third time lucky after all.
FF, in a last ditch effort to figure out to hang on to half ownership of something you were supposed to run but only managed to screw up.

First points deduction and reason:
Derry, for fielding an unregistered, and hungry, grizzly bear.

Most bizarre points deduction:
Derry, for releasing an unregistered, and hungry, grizzly bear in Abbotstown.

Likelihood of any meaningful reform of licensing:
Similar to odds of Bono looking in a mirror, realising he's a ****, a mediocre singer, and not nearly as liked or respected as he likes to think he is, and punching himself in the face. Repeatedly.

How many pages will the thread bitching about the Dublin Super Cup run to:
One per Sligo fan on the site. Cork, Galway and Derry fans are still humbled by recent history. It won't last.

Most bizarre thing the FAI gets blamed for:
Missing socks.

Likelihood of a Shamrock Rovers fan explaining the accumulated losses of their holding company:
Ah, the "model club" kiss of death.

Most bizarre reason for a fixture postponement:
Bohs, in a last-ditch effort to stave off bankruptcy, dig up the Dalymount pitch looking for buried treasure.

How many times will Con get the giggles on MNS:
Two, in quick succession, after which he'll explode.

What will their weird time filler this year:
A slide-show of Con's holiday snaps.

Odds that in the good the bad and the ugly bit they just show a picture of Bobby Ryan in the last category every single week:
Depends on how badly RTE want rid of the show.

How many fans will smite other fans with umbrellas this year:
None. Umbrella-rage will become such a predictable phenomenon that everyone will bring umbrellas to games. Hey, it's the American theory of gun control, and look how well that's working out for them.

Here was me thinking magicme was the biggest attention seeker on this site turns out it's Mr A

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mr A

First to have a major financial crisis: Sligo.. the statement from their outgoing chairman seemed very worrying.

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got a link to that?

Sorted actually.

But, I read a statement from the Dundalk chairman recently, and how he thought the club was doing, anyone got a link to that?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mr A

Most bizarre points deduction: Limerick again. This time because a number of their fans forget to cut holes in their rubber bandits head gear and die during the match.

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This genuinely made me laugh out loud

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mrtndvn

got a link to that?

Sorted actually.

But, I read a statement from the Dundalk chairman recently, and how he thought the club was doing, anyone got a link to that?

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http://blackandwhitetown.squarespace.com/

Scrool down to the 2nd story. :)

Number of times structures fall over in Carlisle grounds: depends how many times Rovers and Mons play in Bray.
Team to receive most red cards: isnt it always Dundalk?
First manager to go, and why: Fenlon, the Bohs board tried to sell his bonuses.
First to miss wage payments (after the start of the season): Galway
First to have a major financial crisis: Drogheda
First to launch a fundraiser saying they need €x to survive, then raise less than half x but continue along anyway (again, we'll have to limit this until after the start of the season): Who else? The Big Club.
Most likely to go belly up completely: Zurich Bank
Number of threads started this season proposing new league structures: whatever Peadar1987's answer is.
Likelihood of anyone ever getting relegated from the premier for football reasons (ever): how long is a piece of string? How large is a Bohemians budget?
Who will employ Nick Leeson next? Third time lucky after all. Who else? The next Bohemians CFO.
First points deduction and reason: Fingal and Bohs - failure to fulfil LSC fixture.
Most bizarre points deduction: Rovers for failing to throw away the league resulting, bizarrely, in them throwing away the league.
Likelihood of any meaningful reform of licensing: whats licensing?
How many pages will the thread bitching about the Dublin Super Cup run to: it will start to eat itself.
Most bizarre thing the FAI gets blamed for: John Delaney ate my hamster!
Likelihood of a Shamrock Rovers fan explaining the accumulated losses of their holding company: Pineapple Stu will before any Rovers fan remembers that the boyvcott is broken... boo ya ;)
Most bizarre reason for a fixture postponement: Akeem Priestly called up by Trapatoni
How many times will Con get the giggles on MNS: none. No more nervousness now that Rovers have won something.
What will their weird time filler this year: Female Linespeople - would ya?
Odds that in the good the bad and the ugly bit they just show a picture of Bobby Ryan in the last category every single week: alternating with Sean Connor.
How many fans will smite other fans with umbrellas this year: its the casual must have accessory for all pwopa nawty's this year. Umbrellas will be rampant.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SkStu

[/B]
Team to receive most red cards: isnt it always Dundalk?

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It was Drogheda last season.

HA. FACE.

:cool2:

[QUOTE=Mr A;1457507]Balls to the football- we all know that is not what the LOI is about. It's just what keeps us amused between the real bits of drama.

So let's have real predictions for 2011. Feel free to suggest more.

Number of times structures fall over in Carlisle grounds: Just the once, when the entire thing slides gracefully into the sea. The general consensus is that playing under 80 feet of freezing cold salt water has greatly improved both safety comfort.
Team to receive most red cards: The referees, despite repeated assurances they will be applying the laws of football, will only apply token red cards to teams outside Dublin. Their effect is minimal, as players realise they can just come back for the next match under a new name, but keeping their history and fanbase.
First manager to go, and why: Pat Fenlon, after being offered the Stenhousemuir job
First to miss wage payments (after the start of the season): Termonbarry City
First to have a major financial crisis: Termonbarry Celtic
First to launch a fundraiser saying they need €x to survive, then raise less than half x but continue along anyway (again, we'll have to limit this until after the start of the season): Termonbarry Alberts
Most likely to go belly up completely: Termonbarry Fingal
Number of threads started this season proposing new league structures: Depends how long it takes me to find a full-time job!
Likelihood of anyone ever getting relegated from the premier for football reasons (ever): Zip
Who will employ Nick Leeson next? Third time lucky after all: He'll take over the bar at Dalymount, and somehow run up a seven figure loss selling alcohol to football fans.
First points deduction and reason: Limerick, for hosting a competitive league game in a ground holding over 82 spectators
Most bizarre points deduction: See above
Likelihood of any meaningful reform of licensing: Define meaningful
How many pages will the thread bitching about the Dublin Super Cup run to: There will not be enough internet to contain it
Most bizarre thing the FAI gets blamed for: Thomas Davis GAA club going bust
Likelihood of a Shamrock Rovers fan explaining the accumulated losses of their holding company: Likelihood of them actually explaining it, none. Likelihood of it being somehow linked to the poor bus connections to Phibsboro, evens.
Most bizarre reason for a fixture postponement: Bees. Bees in Longford.
How many times will Con get the giggles on MNS: 7 per week
What will their weird time filler this year: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferret_legging . Gary Rogers will win, but be stripped of his title when it emerges that the ferret died after four minutes.
Odds that in the good the bad and the ugly bit they just show a picture of Bobby Ryan in the last category every single week: He's not that good. Oh...
How many fans will smite other fans with umbrellas this year: Just one. After Magicme's umbrella rampage at the Carlisle in the first game of the season, umbrellas are forever banned in LOI grounds.

Number of times structures fall over in Carlisle grounds: Only once, when they draw Mons home in the Cup.
Team to receive most red cards: Galway - it's not really a Dundalk thing, it's a Sean Connor thing.
First manager to go, and why: Paul Cook - surely a contender to fill any vacant English lower league jobs.
First to miss wage payments (after the start of the season): Drogs
First to have a major financial crisis: Sligo
First to launch a fundraiser saying they need €x to survive, then raise less than half x but continue along anyway (again, we'll have to limit this until after the start of the season): Sligo
Most likely to go belly up completely: Drogs
Number of threads started this season proposing new league structures: 120,000
Likelihood of anyone ever getting relegated from the premier for football reasons (ever): 250,000,000/1
Who will employ Nick Leeson next? Third time lucky after all. Have to go with the FAI option here too
First points deduction and reason: Limerick for agreeing a friendly in Thomand Park with Real Madrid
Most bizarre points deduction: Mervue for going to Portugal for pre-season and not taking Fran Gavin on a fact finding mission whilst out there
Likelihood of any meaningful reform of licensing: Ha
How many pages will the thread bitching about the Dublin Super Cup run to: 98
Most bizarre thing the FAI gets blamed for: Being anti Derry
Likelihood of a Shamrock Rovers fan explaining the accumulated losses of their holding company: ummm
Most bizarre reason for a fixture postponement: Too much sand on the pitch?
How many times will Con get the giggles on MNS: any night Rod rocks up spouting on about how he found Messi and Fabergas playing in the back streets of Tallaght as kids
What will their weird time filler this year: eh?
Odds that in the good the bad and the ugly bit they just show a picture of Bobby Ryan in the last category every single week: yup.
How many fans will smite other fans with umbrellas this year: Rovers have 2300 season ticket holders don't they?
Which club's fans will be next to 'boycott' foot.ie? - Harps - we're just strange like that aint we?
And how long will they actually stay away? not long, we're addicted.

So who got Bobby Browne as first manager to go??