Amusing spam

Am I the only one who spends time looking at what is in my spam mail? I mean actually opening the odd email, and not just the ones that hav landed there in error.

I think it started when some spammers tried to get past the filters by using extracts from novels. A game kind of existed of trying to identify the text from the random extract. I kept the habit, and regularly have a look at what is the latest attempt to part this fool from his money.

There was a heartening moment there last week when I got one purportedly coming from ACCBank - Ireland mustn't be too bad after all, if there are people trying to make money on the back of the bank implosion.

Today, I got a new one, if apparently around a while, from the Secretary General of the UN, no less. It is a shame that the standards of English communiques from the UN have deteriorated so.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ban Ki-Moon - I mean to say, the internet wouldn't lie, would it?

UNITED NATIONS COMPENSATION COMMISSION, IN AFFILIATION WITH THE WORLD BANK

Our Ref: WB/NF/UNCC/KB027

ATTN:Sir/Madam,

How are you today?Hope all is well with you and family?,You may not understand why this mail came to you.

We have been having a meeting for the passed 7 months which ended 2 days ago with the secretary to the UNITED NATIONS. This email is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world.

The UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$2,500,000.00
.
This includes every foreign contractors that may have not received their contract sum,and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems etc.

We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you,This have been agreed upon and have been signed Therefore,we are happy to inform you that an arrangement has perfectly been concluded to effect your payment as soon as possible in our bid to be transparent.

However,it is our pleasure to inform you that your ATM Card Number; 5490 9957 6302 4525 has been approved and upgraded in your favor. Meanwhile,your Secret Pin Number will be available as soon as you confirm to us the receipt of your ATM CARD.

The ATM Card Value is $2,500,000.00 USD Only. You are advised that a maximum withdrawal value of US$10,000.00 is permitted daily.

And we are duly inter-switched and you can make withdrawal in any location of the ATM Center of your choice/nearest to you any where in the world.

We have also concluded delivery arrangement with our accredited courier service Company United Parcel Services (UPS) to oversee the delivery of the ATM Card to you without any further delay.

So you are hereby advice to forward to this office Director ATM SWIFT CARD Department. Therefore,you should send him your full Name and Telephone number/your correct mailing address where you want him to send the ATM to you with the zip code.

Contact Dr. Philip Green, immediately for your ATM SWIFT MASTERCARD:

Person to Contact Dr. Phillip Green.

Email : drphillipgreen@aol.com

Thanks and God bless you and your family.

Hoping to hear from you as soon as you receive your ATM Card.

Making the world a better place

Regards,

Mr. Ban Ki-moon.
Secretary General (UNITED NATIONS)

The strange thing is, there are people who fall for this. Oh hang on, the daughter of murdered President Mboto Mbazi from Congoland is calling me, I'd better hurry with that bank transfer!

I wish I wish I'd kept this, but I once got an e-mail offering me the job of managing Mali at the upcoming African Nations. All I had to do was hop on a plane and I'd be met and shown around. Strung them along with a CM CV for a little while before getting bored (it was a society e-mail; technically, it was @ndy - who used to post here for the longer-serving members among us - who composed the reply; started off telling of him taking UCD into the CL group stages before winning the CL with Millwall).

My mother started receiving 419 stuff in the post recently. Like, the physical post. And some woman in Cork handed over 100k to one recently.

Well, fools and their money... I'd be more or less indifferent to spam if it wasn't such a burden on the entire email infrastructure. Spam accounts for almost all email. That's such an incredible waste.

Mail fraud is old news, Adam. I think the US postal service had a unit dedicated to fighting it in the 60s.

They did, but it never really hit the big time here, apart from the business directory scum, and to a certain extent the domain scammers.