1. To win a few instant friends on the board a good first post should indicate that you are from Dublin, preferably around Phibsborough or Tallaght area and that you think Glen Crowe is one of the best LOI players, past and present. Also it bodes well among your new found friends if your personal signature contains comments like "Bohs are crap" or The FAI are losers"
2. If you want to annoy or generally upset the board a surefire way is to post only in textspeak . Dis is alwys a gr8 laf wit da lads n a gud way ov shwin dat skool got in da way ov bin cul wif da bois.
3. When you are not sure if a story is true or just want to make up your own lies always add the word "FACT" at the end of your post this automatically makes it true and gives the post the air of authority that it had lacked .
4. Always refer to players by their first name , by doing this you will fool certain members here that you know the top guys personally and that you are somehow qualified to speak on their behalf. Comments like "Gary's ovaries were at him " and "Jason wasn't really trying so he decided not to score" are bound to have the faithful here wishing they were as well up in the footballing scene as you seem to be. Also its no harm to let people know that you have contacts and access to records in FAI, Local Clubs, English FA or any other outfit that you care to throw in for good measure.
5. When you are a keeping it real and true member be sure to compliment
all and sundry on great wins ,great posts, clips etc etc to show that you are a nice guy and a good sportsman, but when you change to your poison alter ego (your other posting name) comments like " he wouldn't score in a whorehouse" , "the only box he would get into is a snackbox" are the order of the day.
6. Beware when you make your first contradictory reply, be sure to have the correct information at hand for the inevitable backlash that's bound to ensue, as there are a certain breed of anorak here that seem to have all day, everyday to search for that one link that will prove you wrong and then take great pride by adding their trademark piece de resistance "FACT" (see item 3) to finish you off .
The sad fact(pun intended) is that people who believe everything they read on the Internet tend to be a bit dim.
7. Before you reply to a thread about the rules of football just remember that FAI and UEFA have bowed to the superior knowledge shown here by some self proclaimed protagonists and have deemed the rulebook is useless. A new " Little Black Book " is on the way.
8. Slander is allowed but frowned upon by the mods , but if you insist on spreading some its advisable to use a first/only time poster account from an internet cafe . ( Maybe a section for first and only time posters could be set up for this purpose)
9. Now start posting and enjoy yourself we really are a nice bunch of guys here. FACT
