Nordy man – he’s his own biggest fan you know
NORDY MAN – HE’S HIS OWN BIGGEST FAN YOU KNOW
How’s about you hey, or as my good friend Pele would say “Greetings from football God.”
I can never wait for pre season to come around again and here we are weeks from the season starting and I am getting my team together for some team bonding.
I thought where better to bring the lads together for some inspiration, some insight into what it takes to be a world class footballer, manager and man than my own home.
Right lads gather round, gather round, welcome to this team bonding session….session boss?! but I didn’t bring any cans…shut up Fitzgerald you blonde nonce.
Now , look around you, take it in, everything you see, this is what will make you great…..our teammates boss?, no you clowns.
LOOK!, LOOK!!!, look at the walls look at the cabinet can you see it. Pictures of you boss?…some glasses boss?
God In Heaven NO, NO, they aren’t just pictures and glasses, those photos represent a sparkling career of a premier League player, the people he influenced, the friends he made, the trophies he won.
One of the players takes a closer look, boss who is that with you in this picture? Oh that’s me and my good friend Nelson
Mandella, not a lot of people know that I played a big hand in Mandellas release from Robin Island.
The Players look at each other in disbelief.
What about this one boss? That one is me and Diego Maradona, you know I taught him how to do the hand of God and get away with it, but I don’t like to talk about it.
…and this one boss is that the rapper dude? Aye that’s Eminen or Marshall as he was before I came up with the name Eminen for him….you gave him that name boss?, yes that was my gift to him
In return he asked me to do backing vocals on the Stan single, I said I would but didn’t want to be name checked on the album, I don’t like publicity.
We still keep in touch.
Boss, Boss, sorry boss…yes what is it ?
The pictures they look like you have been superimposed into the pictures.…Nordy man stares at the player with a face like thunder.
Right lets head out to the garden and have a five a side game, me and the good players against the rest.
After being cooked up indoors all day the players were delighted to get out for a kickabout even if it was the back garden, some 10 foot square with 22 players trying to play football.
Why not have five a sides boss winner stays on?
Nonsense this is a drill I devised on the pro licence, as I said to Moyesie at the time, this will improve players special awareness 500% - he agreed did Moysie, he’s a good friend of mine.
The others score, Nordy Man picks up the ball.
Offside, Offside....what?...you were offside…it’s a back garden boss how can I be offside. You were offside no goal free out.
You having a laugh boss? - Yellow card stop whining….learning that from the best, the player mutters.
Nordy Man is eager to get involved in the game, Feed me, feed me….eat any more and you will burst says one of the players.
The ball lands at Nordy mans feet two feet out from Goal and he finishes with a booming shot over the fence and into next doors garden.
That lads is how you finish….you were two feet out boss….not important….I never lost it….that’s what class is- Permanent….I may have less hair on my head but the talent has never faded.
Nordy Mans mobile rings – I miss you too, don’t cry I will do it, don’t worry .
Sorry lads back in a minute Sissy Learner wants me to read him a bedtime story, back in an hour, it takes him a bit for the words to sink in.
