best line from the simpsons

ok no simpsons thread in a while and i'm gettin an itch so heres one to ponder on, the best line from the simpsons

here's one of my favourites,

Homer answering the phone " you'll have to speak up i'm wearing a towel "

my idol !!!!

Barney - "Go back to Russia!"

Wiggum... "that's some nice flutin' boy"

Or Ralph... "I'm Idaho!"

Quality

Bart to Millhouse

"How can someone with glasses so thick be so stupid?"

or Homer with

"When will people learn democracy doesn't work?"

"..And this Moe's...was it a bar?" - Insurance person
[Homer is thinking "Don't say it was a bar, but what else is open at this hour?"] "It was a pornography store, I was buying pornography!" - Homer

snake " Goodbye Student Loan Payments !"

Marge :'Shouldn't you be at work'
Homer:'They said if I came in late again I was fired,I'm just not willing to take that risk'

or similarly

Marge:'Work called,they said if you don't come in tomorrow don't bother coming in Monday either'
Homer:'Woo Hoo!Four day weekend!'

Ralph: Go Bananna

Ralph:
My cats breath smells like cat food

Homer : That man is my exact double!
That dog has a puffy tail! Hee-Hee-Hee, here puff!

right time for some pure homer !!!!

"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own."

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:


"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

"Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family."

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"


"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"God bless those pagans."

"I'm in a place where I don't know where I am!"

"I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."

"Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."

"Mmmm, free goo."

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

"I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

"Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).


"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"


"Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!"



and of course the best for last.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..................wait for it................................................ .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..............................................its worth it................................................ .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..................trust me................................................ .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................here it comes............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ................................................"D 'oh!!!"

"Marge, I'm not going to lie to you...

Well goodbye."

Homer is the king but here's some Bart just to give him his dues.

Bart: Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Santa.
Bart: Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Santa Claus.

Lisa: An alternative ending to Casablanca! This could be priceless.
Bart: Priceless like a mothers love, or the good kind of priceless.

Bart: As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade.
Homer: And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids.

[Bart's looking for his dog.]
Willy: Yeah, I bought your mutt -- and I 'ate 'im!
[Bart gasps.]
Willy: I 'ate 'is little face, I 'ate 'is guts, and I 'ate the way 'e's always barkin'! So I gave 'im to the church.
Bart: Ohhh, I see... you HATE him, so you gave him to the church.
Willy: Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug.
[Bart stares.]
Willy: Ya heard me!

Homer: Son, about last night. You might've noticed Daddy acting a little strange and you probably don't understand why.
Bart: I understand why. You were wasted.
Homer: I'm sorry it happened, and I just hope you didn't lose a lot of respect for me.
Bart: Dad, I have as much respect for you as I ever did or ever will.
Homer: Aww.

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.

''we work hard, we play hard!''
from the episode where homer thinks Barts gay cause the family are hanging out with ,as Marge put it A ''festive'' person.

Homer's quotes

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

I wonder where Bart is, his dinner's getting all cold, and eaten.

I'll handle this... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

No jokes, no taunting--That kid's got bosoms! Somebody get me a wet towel! C'mere you butterball

OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!

This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke: It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

Quote:

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Originally posted by colster
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

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:D Ross Perot!