Premier league club require a new manager. Following a recent bout of terrible results we have parted company with our boss and are now in a position to advertise the post
Key skills will include:
The ability to chew gum with a menacing look on the touchline.
Deflect blame on to player inadequacies , interspersed with a little humility on your part.
Change a winning team!
Spend money recklessly on players ( we have a step by step guide on this topic, which we hold the patent for).
Give statements to media on an ongoing basis about nothing in particular.
