Dear Santy,

[Woody]

I am a big boy aged 30 and my mammy and daddy said I've been very good this year. They said I should write you a letter asking for my christmas present. Well Santy all I wish for is a new manager for the Republic of Ireland football team. I have told my mammy and daddy what I want but my mammy started crying and daddy looked very sad, so Santy could you please, please make this little boys chrismas the bestest chrismas ever by granting me this wish.

Thank you Santy.

P.S. Can you make the manager well respected, tacticly astute with a proven track record.

[OwlsFan]

I am a big boy aged 30 and my mammy and daddy said I've been very good this year. They said I should write you a letter asking for my christmas present. Well Santy all I wish for is a new manager for the Republic of Ireland football team. I have told my mammy and daddy what I want but my mammy started crying and daddy looked very sad, so Santy could you please, please make this little boys chrismas the bestest chrismas ever by granting me this wish.

Thank you Santy.

P.S. Can you make the manager well respected, tacticly astute with a proven track record.

Dear Woody

Thanks for your letter. You are a greedy little boy. Last time I sent you a world class managerial team and you rejected it. Unfortunately I have already given your present to England.

Would you accept instead a tv pundit who has failed as a manager or perhaps an English spiv who has been out of the game for a number of years and didn't have much success when he was in it but is rated highly by the media?

Yours

Santa

[RogerMilla]

Dear santy , I want what woody wants too. I have been a good boy over the last campaign.
Yours Roger Milla age 33 1/4

[macdermesser]

Dear Santy,

You live in Finland .. can we have your ex-manager please?

Thanks,

Another hairy little boy

[DeNiro]

Dear Woody

Thanks for your letter. You are a greedy little boy. Last time I sent you a world class managerial team and you rejected it. Unfortunately I have already given your present to England.

Would you accept instead a tv pundit who has failed as a manager or perhaps an English spiv who has been out of the game for a number of years and didn't have much success when he was in it but is rated highly by the media?

Yours

Santa

Dear Santa,

Thanks for your reply. It may be an oversight on your behalf but you actually sent us Rudolph and a few of his mates the last time. I remember because he had a very red nose and didn't seem to know where he was going at times, neither did the others for that matter! I'm not too keen on some of the presents you offered there. I know you will be visiting a lot of countries, so please try and pick up some nice gifts and maybe ideas as well. Remember you don't need to visit Walsall / Birmingham this year. They got their presents in October.

Thanks

[HolylandsMan]

"Santa Claus managers" is an anagram of:

u a class manager Stan.

Be careful for what you wish for.........................

[Deckydee]

Hi Santa,

I would like also a top class manager. If you are unable to provide such manager a long mickey will also suffice

[OwlsFan]

Dear Santa,

Thanks for your reply. It may be an oversight on your behalf but you actually sent us Rudolph and a few of his mates the last time. I remember because he had a very red nose and didn't seem to know where he was going at times, neither did the others for that matter! I'm not too keen on some of the presents you offered there. I know you will be visiting a lot of countries, so please try and pick up some nice gifts and maybe ideas as well. Remember you don't need to visit Walsall / Birmingham this year. They got their presents in October.

Thanks

Dear DeNiro

I sent you the Gaffer and my older brother. What more do you want? You children these days are very greedy.

I could send you someone who says "As I say" a lot of the time or a Scouse Irishman with dyed hair and a funny moustache. WHich would you prefer?

As for the letter re Finland, I am afraid all the good managers there are sitting under the tree in Milan.

Finally, to the boy looking for a long mickey, I would suggest stop pulling it so much and it will eventually grow longer.

Happy Christmas

Santa

[Bondvillain]

Hi Santa,

I would like also a top class manager. If you are unable to provide such manager a long mickey will also suffice

Dear Deckydee,

Due to an unfortunate incident in the Ilac Centre a few years back, Santa is no longer able to offer little boys a long mickey.

In response to your other request, Little Johnny Delaney has already written a very magnanimous letter to me way back in Early November, saying that all he wanted was to be loved, and that all the people of Ireland really wanted was Terry Venables as manager.

He included copious amounts of used fivers that he had no further use for, so I think you could all do well to follow little Johnnys example, and in the true spirit of Christmas, you should wish for something for someone else this Christmas, instead of yourselves. You greedy shower.

S . Claus.

[Deckydee]

Good Afternoon,

My apologies for my typing mistake. I am in fact referring to Mickey Long and the hope that he will be instated as irish manager

[OwlsFan]

Good Afternoon,

My apologies for my typing mistake. I am in fact referring to Mickey Long and the hope that he will be instated as irish manager

Dear Deckydee

Do you really want the same gift twice as your last manager was a pr*ck as well and a big one at that.

Yours

Santa

[Stuttgart88]

Dear Santy,

If a good new manager isn't going to be allowed, then can we have a pair of decent quality central midfielders instead? Any muppet can take over the team as all that's really missing is a properly functioning midfield.

Regards, Stuttgart.

[OwlsFan]

Dear Stutts

I see you have moved away from your usual request of a blow up doll adorned in Arsenal colours?

I'll see what I can do but don't expect anything by this Christmas. It takes a while to create not one but two central midfielders. Meanwhile I'll send you a blow up doll of Andy Reid (i.e. it's life like) and hope that will satisfy you for the moment.

Yours

Santa

[Wolfie]

Dear Foot.ie,

RE: New Manager Request

What you people are looking for is a miracle. That's Jesus Christs Department, not mine.

Your correspondence has been forwarded to him. It's his birthday soon so he might be in a good mood.

All the best,

Santa

[tetsujin1979]

Dear Foot.ie

Returning from the grave took me 3 days. According to my hastily-convened trio of wise men, it will take at least 3 months to find a decent manager. Just so you know, this troika of intelligence was assembled almost 4 weeks ago. One month down. Two to go.

Talk to you in February, I have a birthday party to plan

Yours

JC

[Deckydee]

Dear JC,

Any chance you can tell your oul lad to make Fabio Capello change this mind and choose the republic job instead?

Decky Dee

P.S - Thanks for the Grand Canyon

[Supreme feet]

Dear Jesus,

Since I have been impeccably behaved this year (apart from that incident with the oven-ready chicken) could you reward my virtue by giving Owen Garvan, Darron Gibson, Darren O'Dea and Chris McCann the abilities that you once bestowed upon Your creations Roy Keane, John Giles and Paul McGrath? And...can you fix up some high-profile Serie A or Primera Liga transfers for them and other promising young Irish players? You see how unselfish I am?

Your faithful servant,

- Supreme

P.S. New left-back also needed.

[OwlsFan]

Dear Foot.ie

Returning from the grave took me 3 days. According to my hastily-convened trio of wise men, it will take at least 3 months to find a decent manager. Just so you know, this troika of intelligence was assembled almost 4 weeks ago. One month down. Two to go.

Talk to you in February, I have a birthday party to plan

Yours

JC

Dear JC

You are a typical Irishman. You lived at home with your mother for 30+ years and thought she was a virgin.

Look forward to hearing from you in February and enjoy the party.

Foot.ie

[Wolfie]

Dear Supreme Feet,

Leave the young fella alone. He's organising his birthday party.

God

[Bluebeard]

Dear Jesus,

Still up for the pub on the 24th for a pre-party p!ss up without the family? Pete's bringing a huge vat of water, and Judas says he's got a few quid to splash on food (dunno why, he's normally looking to borrow off me).

And if you need any more convincing, Mary Magdalen's been asking after you. She's hoping to come, if you know what I mean;)

Anyway, text me and we'll sort stuff out - don't worry, we'll have you back in time for mass in the morning!

Bluebeard.

[Torn-Ado]

Dear JC

You are a typical Irishman. You lived at home with your mother for 30+ years and thought she was a virgin.

Look forward to hearing from you in February and enjoy the party.

Foot.ie

His auld lad worked on the buildings too.

Well. Not his real da.

[OwlsFan]

Dear Jesus,

Still up for the pub on the 24th for a pre-party p!ss up without the family? Pete's bringing a huge vat of water, and Judas says he's got a few quid to splash on food (dunno why, he's normally looking to borrow off me).

And if you need any more convincing, Mary Magdalen's been asking after you. She's hoping to come, if you know what I mean;)

Anyway, text me and we'll sort stuff out - don't worry, we'll have you back in time for mass in the morning!

Bluebeard.


Dear Bluebeard

Thanks for the note and apologies for the delay in replying.

This request to help in selecting a decent Irish manager is a real cross to bear. Hopefully the 3 wise men will have reported to me by Easter. It will be a real weight off my shoulders then. No matter whom I choose, I suspect I'll get crucified by the media.

Roll on Easter. That's what I say.

JC

[blobbyblob]

Dear Santa,

Sorry to see the Slim Fast didnt work out for you. Theres nothing wrong with being morbidly obese anyway. Andy Reid gets along just fine.

Gis a couple of Brazil tickets if ya can. If not me mates said axe for a pass for the joke Factory in Abbotstown.

Cheers bud,

Blob

[Traps Cat]

Dear Santa,

Can i have the Xl2000 Karaoke machine as seen on page 425 of the Argos catalogue please.

Cheers,

Robbie
London