Best chat-up lines

[2legged tackle]

Heres a few i've heard recently.

Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.:o

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

Let's take a shower together -- you smell.:D

Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?



Can anyone come up with anything that will gaurentee success?

[Sligo Hornet]

Heres a few i've heard recently.

Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.:o

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

Let's take a shower together -- you smell.:D

Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?



Can anyone come up with anything that will gaurentee success?

Recently........????.......how long were you in that Coma?:eek:

[2legged tackle]

6 years, just out about two hours.

Can you come up with anything or not?

[smellyfeet]

Do you have any raisins? How about a date?
Are you a parking ticket

cuz you got fine written all over you

If I had one chance to rearrange the alphabet,

I would put U and I together.

Do you have a map?

Because I keep getting lost in your eyes

Where you arrested earlier?

It's gotta be illegal to look that good?


I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south?

I hope you know CPR cuz you take my breath away
Is your dad a thief?

because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.

I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?
You know, I ain't this tall.

I'm just sitting on my wallet.


Hi the voices in my head told me to come talk to you.
There is something wrong with my cell phone.

It doesn't have your number in it.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
I guess u can kiss heaven goodbye

cuz it has got to be a sin to look that good

Do u have a quarter?

I told my mom id call her when I fell in love

Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven.

[Bluebeard]

Careful lads, ye'll get done under the Trades and Services Descriptions Act...

[2legged tackle]

Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.

Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Lamborgini.

Fat Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.

Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl

[paul_oshea]

im not the best looking lad in here, but im the only one chatting you.

is your father a baker? cos you've got lovely buns

the best one ive found if theres 2 of ye and more than 2 of them, is:

"have you met <insert name here>, ( then they look all confused and say no ) and then ye say well ye have now". Simple, but it usually works,

[joema]

Take her hand, lick her sleeve and say "Come, let's get you out of these wet clothes"

Are you a compass because everyone says I'm a babe magnet!

heya......sorry but i seem to have lost my phone number, any chance i could have yours? ha

When 'my doorbell', the song, is on ask the girl; Would you like to ring MY doorbell?

your looks are so good theyd make a blind man go out of his mind.

Hey u look lost................... would you like me to bring you back to my house ?

the lads bet me I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the fittest girl in the room, wanna buy some drinks with their money

your a cracker,do you want to be pulled

if i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put "u" and "i" together

I've always thought cornflakes look a bit like people (wink wink)

can i borrow ure libray card plz, cuz i wanna check u out

excuse me have u got 10 p? cus i gotta fone the cops as its illegal to look that good

kiss me if im wrong but isnt your name lugaluga?

Is your name Gillette? Because your the best a man can get!

my m8 bet me £20 i wouldnt have the guts to ask u for a kiss, tell her ul give her the money if she does, then after tell her u lied!

Get your coat, you've pulled!

I dont mean to be Blunt but you're beautiful

Now that im here, are you going to tell me what your other two wishes were ?

You are far more beautiful than my wife....(kisses back of hand)

Pick a number between 1 and 10...(they give their answer)...YOU LOSE! Take your top off!

Bloke shows a woman his watch and says that it is magic and can tell if she has any underwear on and it says no. When the woman says that it is wrong cos she has, the reply is damn, its an hour fast.

Your like a parking ticket, you got fine written all over you!!

I might not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you!

Hi i'm rich...thats my name as well

You look like a squirrel, fancy helping me bury my nuts?

Can I tickle your belly button...from the inside?

If I was to buy you some sexy new lingerie, would there be anything in it for me?

{bloke ask's girl} excuse me but do you work in a post office ???? {girl replys} no why you ask ??? {bloke replys} i just seen you lookin at my package............

Is yout last name Jacobs ? Coz ur a real cracker !!

Do you believe in love at first sight? or shall i walk past again?

Whats the chance of me taking u for a romantic candle lit dinner?

Does this jumper make my feet look big?? (breaks the ice and gets a chuckle)

I'm feeling a little off today. Would you mind turning me on?

I've lost my teddy. Will you sleep with me?

You've got nice legs, What time do they open?

Walk up to a girl whilst holding a piece of paper, say:- "excuse me, but could you help?" hand her the paper and say "this paper is missing something" when she says "what" you say "your number" It's a winner!

Are your parents retarded, coz i think you special.

I bet you £20 you're gonna turn me down.

Hi, I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus!!

How would you like to see the soles of your shoes in my wing mirrors??????

[NeilMcD]

Recently........????.......how long were you in that Coma?:eek:

Your Dad knows an awful lot about football, would be my one or Go on you Hornets.

[L37Ultra]

Heres a good one for you but beware it often results in a slap across the face :D


Walk past a girl and make eye contact then call her over using only one finger and IF she walks over to you say " Look, i made you come with one finger imagine what I could do with five" ;)

[cheifo]

Is that a ladder in your tights or is that the stairway to heaven?

[Closed Account]

Used this one a couple of weeks ago, brought out an 'f' a 'c' and a 'k' fridge magnets. Walked up to a girl, put them on her hand, in that order, and said "All I Need Is U". Worked, twice.

I robbed it from the TV show 'I Dare Ya' but the fridge magnets was my own twist.

[Torn-Ado]

Fancy a shag?

No! Well go F**K yerself then!

[gustavo]

this is likely to result in sexual assault court cases but anyway

Go up to a girl and say I bet ya a fiver I can make your tits move without touching them ,

Then grab them , hand her the fiver and say , looks like i lost.

[strangeirish]

Did you fart?,'cause you blew me away!

[Bluebeard]

Fancy a shag?

No! Well go F**K yerself then!
:D:D:D
Gold!

[Kildare Lad]

If you were my sister incest be cool.

[2legged tackle]

Can you help me find my puppy? I think it went into that cheap motel across the street.
:D

[Paddyfield]

A west of Ireland classic:

"I'd eat a mile of your sh!te just to smell the exhaust pipe of the van bringing your dirty knickers to the Cleaners"

No known success rate. :D

[2legged tackle]

A west of Ireland classic:

"I'd eat a mile of your sh!te just to smell the exhaust pipe of the van bringing your dirty knickers to the Cleaners"


Where the f*ck in the west are you from?:O
Absolute Cracker though.

[Ash]

Do you have much land :D

[Block G Raptor]

This is a class chatup / Put Down /Retort which I heard ages ago
Guy walks up to a blonde siting alone in a bar
Guy:Is there anyone sitting here? (indicating the seat oposite her)
Blonde : No . but if you sit there I wont be siting here
Guy: I know . you'll be on your knees sucking my .........

[Trainee]

Do you have much land :D


has 2 b the best Ash:D:D

[Ash]

has 2 b the best Ash:D:D

Us Midland men and our one track mind :D

[Schlooooomp]

Do you have much land :D

Or a slight variation on that one for those budding property developers. Do you have much road frontage?

[Ash]

Or a slight variation on that one for those budding property developers. Do you have much road frontage?

Yep, theres nothing like a woman with good frontage :p

Or, another classic line my brothers mate swore he used ....

Nice shoes ... wanna fcuk!!!

Although, I was far more classy in my approach.
I snared Mrs Ash on the way out of a niteclub with a cool and truthful line ...
"Will you mind my jacket while I go for a whizz"

[Schlooooomp]

Yep, theres nothing like a woman with good frontage :p

Ha Ha


Although, I was far more classy in my approach.
I snared Mrs Ash on the way out of a niteclub with a cool and truthful line ...
"Will you mind my jacket while I go for a whizz"

Nice, must try that one some time, probably mess it up though and ask her to hold something inappropriate while I have a whizz :D