Time for a bad joke

[gustavo]

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club.
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>It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing.
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>Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was
>only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a
>dustbin.
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>Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the
>driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his
>road.
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box
>approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more
>clearly....It was a coffin.
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>Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and
> >started walking briskly home.
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking
>faster.........
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>BUMP........BUMP......
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>BUMP........BUMP..
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>BUMP........BUMP......
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>The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but
>he heard the coffin speed up after him......
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>BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
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>BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
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>BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
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>He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......
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>BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
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>BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....
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>BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
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>Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was
>only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys,
>His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming
>the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into
>his comfy chair.
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>Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way
>through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the
>coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued
>its chase.....
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could
>take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........
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>BUMP...SCREECH...HOP..BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
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>The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and
>launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom
>door flew off its hinges.....
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>The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young
>terrified lad.
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom
>cabinet......
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>He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the
>coffin.......still it came ........
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ........still it
>came......
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...
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>He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came......
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........
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>The coffin stopped.
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[dahamsta]

When you said bad joke I thought you meant GOOD bad joke. What a let down. Bah, etc.

adam

[steven17]

a plane plumeting to the ground from 30,000 feet

the stewertess brakes down the **** pit door and says "captain make me feel like a women 1 last time ..........

so the captain rips off his shirt and says iron that so willa

[steven17]

on a couples 30th wedding anniversary the couple go back to the place the spent their first,

just as she did 30 years ago the wife comes from the bathroom with nothing on looking quite seductive and says to her husband

what were you thinking 30 years ago when i first came out like this.... to which the husband replys "i was thinkin i was gonna fcuk you hard and suck your t i ts dry......................

and what are you tinking now says the wife

i`m thinkin i did a fcuking good job

(still better than the first one)

[Ash]

Q. What do the films Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

A. Icey dead people

Boom Boom!