pete
06/12/2002, 10:56 AM
01) - Thou shalt drink only pints and/or "whiskey."
02) - Thou shalt always ate the skin of yer rasher.
03) - Thou shalt always stand at the back during mass, or even better, in the porch talking.
04) - Thine Wife shalt emulate Biddy from Glenroe.
05) - Thou shalt emulate Miley.
06) - Thou shalt "Suck Diesel."
07) - Thou shalt pretend to know all about "The Headage."
08) - Thou shalt look after your tractor better than your car.
09) - Thou shalt have no "Revershing" lights or number plate on your trailers.
10) - Thou shalt display a "Travellin' to Flavin" sticker on the back window of all vehicles.
11) - Thou shalt wear your Ivomec Pour-On fleece with pride.
12) - Thou shalt not use but half-inch Wavin or "a good Sally Rod" for beatin cattle.
13) - Thine sons shall play GAA.
14) - Thine daaawwwthur shall marry the local centhur-forward.
15) - Thou shalt hold regular arguments with d'telly.
16) - Thou shalt reminisce the Fair Day, the Threshing, Kickin'Cabbages and the Corncrake.
17) - Thou shalt know a Mickeen Tomeen Joe and a Paddy Joe Paaaack from "the top of the parish."
18) - Thou shalt ate "Hang Sangwiches" at all GAA matches.
19) - Thou shalt hate "Those Backstard the Tans."
20) - Thou shalt be edumacated by the Chrissshtian Brethers.
21) - Thou shalt pronounce 'Yellow' as 'Yella'.
22) - Thou shalt carry the A.I. Man's mobile number on you at all times.
23) - Thou shalt not visit Dublin ( except to Croker and to bring
the wife shoppin' on the 8th of December ).
24) - Thou shalt not fail to attend the Ploughing Championships and all Steam Rallies.
25) - Thou shalt always know how to reek turf bether than thine Neighbour.
26) - Thou shalt use balin' twine to hold up thine trousers.
27) - Thou shalt not ever visit the dentist.
28) - Thou shalt not miss an episode of "The Weather."
29) - Thou shalt have many many injuries from "that Hooooor of Charlois I got from that cowboy calf-dealer."
30) - Thou shalt wear cap crooked.
31) - Thou shalt love all Big John Wayne's fims, especially "The Quiet Man."
32) - Thine son shall be nicknamed "Bungalow," 'cos "he's got nothin' upstairs."
33) - Thou shalt shoot stray dogs.
34) - Thou shalt drown cats.
35) - Thou shalt think all Lesbians are from Lesbia.
36) - Thou shalt annually run the tractor off the end of the pit when ramping silage.
37) - Thou shalt taste all barrels of Molasses.
38) - Thou shalt think it's great craic to ring PJ and roar into the phone while he's with "the bit of stuff."
39) - Thine favourite chat-up line shalt be "Howya fixshed for a bit a howya goin' on ?" whilst winking like an epileptic.
40) - Thou shalt paint "Whatever County for Sam!" on all of your round bales.
41) - Thou shalt never leave the country.
42) - Thou shalt have a Heinz-57 mongrel of a dog which is good for nothin' except terrorising the neighbour's sheep.
43) - Thou shalt only bathe on a sathurday niyat, using only carbolic soap
44) - Thou shalt read the Farmer's Journal.
45) - Thou shalt always support your county GAA team whilst curshing them for being "pure ****e" at every given opportunity.
46) - Thine sweet of choice shall be either Ritchies After-Dinner Mints or Silvermints.
47) - Thou shalt only be aware of strippers of the bovine kind.
48) - Thou shalt refer to Soccer as "The Foreign Game."
49) - Thou shalt always sing to dirty line to "Alice."
50) - Thou shalt always receive Communion on the tongue, licking the priest's hand in the process
02) - Thou shalt always ate the skin of yer rasher.
03) - Thou shalt always stand at the back during mass, or even better, in the porch talking.
04) - Thine Wife shalt emulate Biddy from Glenroe.
05) - Thou shalt emulate Miley.
06) - Thou shalt "Suck Diesel."
07) - Thou shalt pretend to know all about "The Headage."
08) - Thou shalt look after your tractor better than your car.
09) - Thou shalt have no "Revershing" lights or number plate on your trailers.
10) - Thou shalt display a "Travellin' to Flavin" sticker on the back window of all vehicles.
11) - Thou shalt wear your Ivomec Pour-On fleece with pride.
12) - Thou shalt not use but half-inch Wavin or "a good Sally Rod" for beatin cattle.
13) - Thine sons shall play GAA.
14) - Thine daaawwwthur shall marry the local centhur-forward.
15) - Thou shalt hold regular arguments with d'telly.
16) - Thou shalt reminisce the Fair Day, the Threshing, Kickin'Cabbages and the Corncrake.
17) - Thou shalt know a Mickeen Tomeen Joe and a Paddy Joe Paaaack from "the top of the parish."
18) - Thou shalt ate "Hang Sangwiches" at all GAA matches.
19) - Thou shalt hate "Those Backstard the Tans."
20) - Thou shalt be edumacated by the Chrissshtian Brethers.
21) - Thou shalt pronounce 'Yellow' as 'Yella'.
22) - Thou shalt carry the A.I. Man's mobile number on you at all times.
23) - Thou shalt not visit Dublin ( except to Croker and to bring
the wife shoppin' on the 8th of December ).
24) - Thou shalt not fail to attend the Ploughing Championships and all Steam Rallies.
25) - Thou shalt always know how to reek turf bether than thine Neighbour.
26) - Thou shalt use balin' twine to hold up thine trousers.
27) - Thou shalt not ever visit the dentist.
28) - Thou shalt not miss an episode of "The Weather."
29) - Thou shalt have many many injuries from "that Hooooor of Charlois I got from that cowboy calf-dealer."
30) - Thou shalt wear cap crooked.
31) - Thou shalt love all Big John Wayne's fims, especially "The Quiet Man."
32) - Thine son shall be nicknamed "Bungalow," 'cos "he's got nothin' upstairs."
33) - Thou shalt shoot stray dogs.
34) - Thou shalt drown cats.
35) - Thou shalt think all Lesbians are from Lesbia.
36) - Thou shalt annually run the tractor off the end of the pit when ramping silage.
37) - Thou shalt taste all barrels of Molasses.
38) - Thou shalt think it's great craic to ring PJ and roar into the phone while he's with "the bit of stuff."
39) - Thine favourite chat-up line shalt be "Howya fixshed for a bit a howya goin' on ?" whilst winking like an epileptic.
40) - Thou shalt paint "Whatever County for Sam!" on all of your round bales.
41) - Thou shalt never leave the country.
42) - Thou shalt have a Heinz-57 mongrel of a dog which is good for nothin' except terrorising the neighbour's sheep.
43) - Thou shalt only bathe on a sathurday niyat, using only carbolic soap
44) - Thou shalt read the Farmer's Journal.
45) - Thou shalt always support your county GAA team whilst curshing them for being "pure ****e" at every given opportunity.
46) - Thine sweet of choice shall be either Ritchies After-Dinner Mints or Silvermints.
47) - Thou shalt only be aware of strippers of the bovine kind.
48) - Thou shalt refer to Soccer as "The Foreign Game."
49) - Thou shalt always sing to dirty line to "Alice."
50) - Thou shalt always receive Communion on the tongue, licking the priest's hand in the process