Éanna
11/10/2002, 12:13 PM
While I was "flying" down the road this morning (i.e., 10 mph
over the
limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a garda siochalony
with a
radar gun on the other side laying in wait.
The garda pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that
classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your
hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the garda, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The garda stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work
my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand
in I work
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly
but surely
stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot @SSHOLE?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and
park him
behind a bridge....."
Traffic Ticket: EUR95.00
Court Costs: EUR45.00
The Look on that Garda's Face: PRICELESS!!!
over the
limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a garda siochalony
with a
radar gun on the other side laying in wait.
The garda pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that
classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your
hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the garda, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The garda stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work
my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand
in I work
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly
but surely
stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot @SSHOLE?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and
park him
behind a bridge....."
Traffic Ticket: EUR95.00
Court Costs: EUR45.00
The Look on that Garda's Face: PRICELESS!!!