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blobbyblob
04/05/2006, 9:39 AM
I'm as sick as a small hospital

I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child

She had a face on her like a well slapped a*se

Your' re as welcome as a f*rt in a spacesuit

My mouth's as dry as a nuns cr@ck

He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup

He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician

As funny as a burning orphanage

He's so camp, he ****es tent pegs

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes

I feel like a boiled sh1te (hungover)

(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn

As busy as the dalkey dole office

As tight as a nun's knickers

I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

Up and down like a hoor's knickers

No show pony but would do for a ride around the house

Did your mother find out who your father is yet?

What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt

I left her with a face like a painters radio

A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard

Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche

As fit as a butcher's dog

She ' s got more chins than a Chinese phone book

Not even the tide would take her out

Mother Teresa wouldn 't kiss her

Daz wouldn't shift her

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her

A sniper wouldn't take her out

Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one

She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a nettle

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede

She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab

If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall

Give her a boot in the hole and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her f@nny
drinkfeckarse
04/05/2006, 9:45 AM
:D

Had this a while ago in an e-mail. Can't remember who the quotes were attributed to but it wasn't Podge and Rodge anyway.
CollegeTillIDie
04/05/2006, 9:11 PM
:D

Had this a while ago in an e-mail. Can't remember who the quotes were attributed to but it wasn't Podge and Rodge anyway.

They are well known English language Irishisms.....

My favourite hunger one.. is one I heard from a fellow student from Kilkenny.

" I'm so hungry I'd eat a farmer's arse through a hedge ":D
anto eile
04/05/2006, 9:11 PM
good ones there.

also: "dirtier than christina aguilera's knickers after a dose of the scuts"
blobbyblob
04/05/2006, 10:38 PM
Im so hungry Id eat the back wheel off a menstral cycle
gustavo
04/05/2006, 10:45 PM
Dont know if this is an Irishism but i've heard the comment that if a young lady has particularly prominent nipples that "you could hang a pair of wet duffelcoats on them"
osarusan
08/05/2006, 12:48 AM
here is one I learnt from a German fella over here in Japan about girls with red hair.

"Rusty roof, damp basement"
sligoman
08/05/2006, 1:14 AM
girls with red hair.

"Rusty roof, damp basement"Haha, classic!:D.
Dassa
08/05/2006, 3:02 AM
one said up here all the time you've a face on you like a Lurgan Spade. What ever the hell it means
Lim till i die
08/05/2006, 3:10 PM
A Chancer: "That fella has a neck like a jockey's ******"

Tall Person: "If he was any longer he'd be late" :o
cheifo
08/05/2006, 7:21 PM
"She so ugly she looks like someone set fire to her face and then put it out with a shovel":eek:
She was so fat when I brought her to the cinema they showed the film on her back.
Block G Raptor
08/05/2006, 8:43 PM
here is one I learnt from a German fella over here in Japan about girls with red hair.

"Rusty roof, damp basement"
Jebus Dont let GT hear you saying that
Anto McC
08/05/2006, 9:18 PM
She's a face like the underside of a jockeys boll*x!!
Magicme
10/05/2006, 10:14 AM
My personal favourite way of discribing someone who is drunk....

She was as full as a bingo bus.
Pauro 76
10/05/2006, 2:24 PM
fave on describing a good looking lass...

I'd give her a poke if the telly's broke....
Block G Raptor
10/05/2006, 2:39 PM
she's got an Ar$e like two badly parked volkswagen beetles and teeth like 6 half opened garage doors. I've heard Druids want to use her mouth as a place of worship.........but thats enough about my ex:D
Fair_play_boy
10/05/2006, 11:11 PM
May this thread enjoy some longevity as we are a country of people who appreciate a great saying when we hear one.
Last Saturday night Micheal Martin gave a speech about 1916, during which he complained about the apparent agreement between the Irish mainstream media and the more popular historians who shared a rather jingoistic view of the legacy of the 1916 rising. He challenged this in the following words. I googled the last bit and there is no record of that phrase anywhere that Google looks at any rate . . . The saying he used is:
Just as nature abhors a vacuum, academic historians abhor a consensus.
drinkfeckarse
11/05/2006, 8:00 AM
Just to dumb it down a little, I like "I will yeah boy" . A great saying if ever there was one. :D
Magicme
11/05/2006, 9:30 AM
My excuse is that my pony threw me and stood on my face when I was 8 yrs old
drinkfeckarse
11/05/2006, 10:22 AM
My excuse is that my pony threw me and stood on my face when I was 8 yrs old

ooooooh...Posh bird with a pony;)
Magicme
11/05/2006, 10:27 AM
Did u not know I was posh totty??? My daddy bought me a pony when I was 7 and I did ballet and gymnastics til I was 16. My daddy also bought me my first house. Am a daddy's girl! My ex husband was warned not to marry a millionaires daughter coz they are never satisfied!


Good job am not a millionaires daughter then eh!
Ash
11/05/2006, 10:40 AM
or, if something isn't going too well
" ... that went down about as well as a fart in mass" :p

Or for rugby fans looking for directions in Athlone
Q. Where are Buccaneers
A. On the side of your Buccan head :D
strangeirish
11/05/2006, 3:47 PM
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
Anto McC
11/05/2006, 7:04 PM
"He was sweating like a dyslexic on countdown"
Magicme
12/05/2006, 9:42 AM
"He was sweating like a dyslexic on countdown"

Thats me that is when they are doing the numbers game!