OwlsFan
29/12/2005, 10:46 AM
The Great Unanswered Questions Of 2005
Friday December 23 2005
By Pete Gill
http://www.football365.com/features/f365_features/story_172164.shtml
1) What did we all say before 'myopia' entered the football dictionary?
2) So who did bet the £15m on Agent Redknapp returning to Pompey?
3) Did Graeme Le Saux take an audition? Who reckons he passed?
4) How many ducks has Rupert Lowe killed?
5) What happened to that white stuff that used to be on Roman's chin?
6) Does Tony Adams believe that speaking very very slowly makes a person sound intelligent?
7) Has Garth Crooks remembered to inform Sven that England have qualified for the World Cup finals?
8) What would Jeff Powell write about if foreigners didn't exist?
9) Did David O'Leary really send those text messages to that 'busty barmaid'?
10) What does Roman Abramovich sound like when he speaks?
11) Does Peter Crouch ever dance?
12) Why are so many Premiership footballers called Jermain(e)?
13) What do football managers see in Jermaine Jenas that nobody else can?
14) Did the last person to say 'bouncebackability' remember to close the football dictionary behind him?
15) If if you believed that a middle-aged man in a large coat was a voyeur, would you want to touch his strong hand afterwards?
16) Is Steve McClaren's face now redder than Sir Alex's?
17) What was in the dossier that Sir Alex sent Rafa after Liverpool won the European Cup?
18) What did Roy Keane say in that interview on MUTV?
19) What did Kieron Dyer say to Lee Bowyer that April afternoon?
20) Should Mediawatch be given a more prominent slot on the F365 website?
21) Would it be possible to enjoy intimate relations with Kelly Dalglish without thinking of her father?
22) Whatever happened to Kevin Keegan?
23) Did Darren Fletcher mean to score with that header against Chelski?
24) If, as Sir Alex suggests, ManYoo's "future lies with the likes of Darren Fletcher", how long before they are overtaken by Accrington Stanley?
25) Will this piece resemble the standard innings in a one-day cricket match - a bright start followed by a lull in proceedings before it all ends in a (hopefully) enjoyable crescendo?
26) Has Lauren been to the dentist yet? Is it true that a tooth was discovered in the chest?
27) So what was under Rui Faria's hat when he sat in for the banned Jose on the Chelski bench?
28) Is anyone else alarmed that the mysterious Mr Faria hasn't been seen or heard of since?
29) Ally and Andy on the pitch. Was the bright spark responsible for this idea also the inspiration behind Space Cadets?
30) Do the FA regret taking on F365's new hero, Simon Jordan? If not, when will they?
31) If Harry Redknapp didn't have so many friends - and family - in the media, would the press have said the truth about the nature of his behaviour during the past year?
32) How long before a referee/linesman is sued for damages as a result of a botched decision?
33) Will Jose Mourinho ever apologise to Anders Frisk for making the false allegations which precipitated his retirement?
34) What are the Glazers plans for ManYoo? And will the owner of Manchester United ever actually visit Old Trafford?
35) Did Luis Garcia's goal against Chelski really cross the line?
36) Will anyone ever produce the original quote in which Pele - allegedly - said that George Best was the best player of all time?
37) Why has it become fashionable for clubs to put armchairs in dug-outs?
38) Why are so many more goals scored in the second-half of Premiership matches than in the first?
39) What was the size of the font used by Chelski when they collated all of Arsene Wenger’s words into a 120-page dossier?
40) Has the failure of The Sun to follow-up on their report of how the Manchester United dressing room was bugged by a 'gang' threatening blackmail in any way related to Sir Alex Ferguson announcing two weeks later, after an internal ManYoo inquiry, that it was The Sun Wot Done It?
41) Is there anybody left in Liverpool who hasn't claimed that they were in Istanbul on May 25th?
42) If Gazza was in charge at Kettering for 39 days and was warned 37 times for drink-related naughtiness, what was he doing on the other two days?
43) Does Ashley Cole ever ask his girlfriend what the ginger one is doing in Girls Aloud?
44) Were the only people who believed that Rio's restaurant encounter with Peter Kenyon 'just a coincidence' born the previous day?
45) Why are football commentators constantly surprised whenever tall footballers prove that they have full control of their limbs?
46) Is it right to suspect that we'll know that Fergie's days are numbered in single figures because Sky News have commissioned Keith Graves to report from Old Trafford?
47) How can we tell that Winston Bogarde has retired?
48) Are the football fans who chant 'easy, easy' with ten minutes still to go the same people who ask 'what could possibly go wrong?' as they set off on a long journey?
49) Is it possible to tell where Paul Jewell's chin ends and his neck begins?
50) Does Tony Cascarino think of himself when masturbating furiously?
Friday December 23 2005
By Pete Gill
http://www.football365.com/features/f365_features/story_172164.shtml
1) What did we all say before 'myopia' entered the football dictionary?
2) So who did bet the £15m on Agent Redknapp returning to Pompey?
3) Did Graeme Le Saux take an audition? Who reckons he passed?
4) How many ducks has Rupert Lowe killed?
5) What happened to that white stuff that used to be on Roman's chin?
6) Does Tony Adams believe that speaking very very slowly makes a person sound intelligent?
7) Has Garth Crooks remembered to inform Sven that England have qualified for the World Cup finals?
8) What would Jeff Powell write about if foreigners didn't exist?
9) Did David O'Leary really send those text messages to that 'busty barmaid'?
10) What does Roman Abramovich sound like when he speaks?
11) Does Peter Crouch ever dance?
12) Why are so many Premiership footballers called Jermain(e)?
13) What do football managers see in Jermaine Jenas that nobody else can?
14) Did the last person to say 'bouncebackability' remember to close the football dictionary behind him?
15) If if you believed that a middle-aged man in a large coat was a voyeur, would you want to touch his strong hand afterwards?
16) Is Steve McClaren's face now redder than Sir Alex's?
17) What was in the dossier that Sir Alex sent Rafa after Liverpool won the European Cup?
18) What did Roy Keane say in that interview on MUTV?
19) What did Kieron Dyer say to Lee Bowyer that April afternoon?
20) Should Mediawatch be given a more prominent slot on the F365 website?
21) Would it be possible to enjoy intimate relations with Kelly Dalglish without thinking of her father?
22) Whatever happened to Kevin Keegan?
23) Did Darren Fletcher mean to score with that header against Chelski?
24) If, as Sir Alex suggests, ManYoo's "future lies with the likes of Darren Fletcher", how long before they are overtaken by Accrington Stanley?
25) Will this piece resemble the standard innings in a one-day cricket match - a bright start followed by a lull in proceedings before it all ends in a (hopefully) enjoyable crescendo?
26) Has Lauren been to the dentist yet? Is it true that a tooth was discovered in the chest?
27) So what was under Rui Faria's hat when he sat in for the banned Jose on the Chelski bench?
28) Is anyone else alarmed that the mysterious Mr Faria hasn't been seen or heard of since?
29) Ally and Andy on the pitch. Was the bright spark responsible for this idea also the inspiration behind Space Cadets?
30) Do the FA regret taking on F365's new hero, Simon Jordan? If not, when will they?
31) If Harry Redknapp didn't have so many friends - and family - in the media, would the press have said the truth about the nature of his behaviour during the past year?
32) How long before a referee/linesman is sued for damages as a result of a botched decision?
33) Will Jose Mourinho ever apologise to Anders Frisk for making the false allegations which precipitated his retirement?
34) What are the Glazers plans for ManYoo? And will the owner of Manchester United ever actually visit Old Trafford?
35) Did Luis Garcia's goal against Chelski really cross the line?
36) Will anyone ever produce the original quote in which Pele - allegedly - said that George Best was the best player of all time?
37) Why has it become fashionable for clubs to put armchairs in dug-outs?
38) Why are so many more goals scored in the second-half of Premiership matches than in the first?
39) What was the size of the font used by Chelski when they collated all of Arsene Wenger’s words into a 120-page dossier?
40) Has the failure of The Sun to follow-up on their report of how the Manchester United dressing room was bugged by a 'gang' threatening blackmail in any way related to Sir Alex Ferguson announcing two weeks later, after an internal ManYoo inquiry, that it was The Sun Wot Done It?
41) Is there anybody left in Liverpool who hasn't claimed that they were in Istanbul on May 25th?
42) If Gazza was in charge at Kettering for 39 days and was warned 37 times for drink-related naughtiness, what was he doing on the other two days?
43) Does Ashley Cole ever ask his girlfriend what the ginger one is doing in Girls Aloud?
44) Were the only people who believed that Rio's restaurant encounter with Peter Kenyon 'just a coincidence' born the previous day?
45) Why are football commentators constantly surprised whenever tall footballers prove that they have full control of their limbs?
46) Is it right to suspect that we'll know that Fergie's days are numbered in single figures because Sky News have commissioned Keith Graves to report from Old Trafford?
47) How can we tell that Winston Bogarde has retired?
48) Are the football fans who chant 'easy, easy' with ten minutes still to go the same people who ask 'what could possibly go wrong?' as they set off on a long journey?
49) Is it possible to tell where Paul Jewell's chin ends and his neck begins?
50) Does Tony Cascarino think of himself when masturbating furiously?