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View Full Version : (To follow up on Chuck) Amazing Mr.T Facts!!!



ThatGuy
07/12/2005, 10:44 PM
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion's tail hanging out of his mouth.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

Mr. T's edition of the VH One show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.


Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.

Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr.T.

In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba.

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Mr. T was the first to kill two bird with one stone He kept the stone, and as of now it has killed 6,048.

Mr. T was fired from the P$ychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.

Remember when Mr. T wasn't so popular and awesome? Me neither.

They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don't have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.

Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.

It took five women 2 years to give b1rth to Mr. T.

Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.

Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.

On all 3428 instances it occured, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both 'deflower' the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman's uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks.

Mr. T doesn't have internal org0as. He had them removed to make more room for muscle.

The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T's neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.

drinkfeckarse
08/12/2005, 9:54 AM
Excellent again!

A face
08/12/2005, 12:43 PM
It took five women 2 years to give b1rth to Mr. T.

Hah ah !! ... brilliant !! :p

ThatGuy
08/12/2005, 12:54 PM
These are genuine Mr.T quotes...

Quotes from personal life
As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal.
I am the best bodyguard, because I'll take a bullet, I'll take a stab wound, I'll take a hit upside the head; I'm like a Kamikaze pilot; The President got shot because his men relaxed.
Mr. T, in Sept. 1983 issue of Playboy
I believe in the Golden Rule - The Man with the Gold... Rules.
When I was growing up, my family was so poor we couldn't afford to pay attention.
For 5 years Mr. T disappeared. Fools went unpittied and Jibber-Jabber went unchallenged!
Mr. T, talking about his fight with cancer
It takes a smart guy to play dumb.
Response to the question "Are you as thick as BA?" at a press conference
I remember one time I tried to pity this fool. He told me his name was Jeff. He was married. He pulled out his wallet and showed me three pictures of his kids; Kelly, Robert, Brittany. Real cute kids. Don't get too close man. It's hard to pity a fool if you get too close.
I pity the university for not giving T enough time. You know I got all duded up, got dressed, the students were all ready for me, then they gave me short time. So I pity them. So if they want to be unpitied, they'll invite me back and give me more time.
Mr.T while speaking at UCLA 5/9/2002
I think about my father being called 'boy,' my uncle being called 'boy,' my brother, coming back from Vietnam and being called 'boy.' So I questioned myself: 'What does a black man have to do before he's given the respect as a man?' So when I was 18 years old, when I was old enough to fight and die for my country, old enough to drink, old enough to vote, I said I was old enough to be called a man. I self-ordained myself Mr. T so the first word out of everybody's mouth is 'Mr.' That's a sign of respect that my father didn't get, that my brother didn't get, that my mother didn't get.
You're going through college, and you're going to be faced with a lot of things. You're going to face adversity, the main thing is don't quit. For many people it's easy to quit, but don't. That's what separates the winners from the losers, what separates the all-stars from the also-rans
I wanted to win to feed the hungry people of my community. I didn't want to win to buy a diamond – I didn't have no diamonds then. I didn't want to win to buy a car, I didn't want to win to bring a couple of chicks downtown to a hotel. I wanted to win to feed the poor people of the community
Mr.T speaking about winning the America's Toughest Bouncer contest
I tell people that I was born and raised in the ghetto, but the ghetto was not born and raised in me.
When you see me now, I'm nothing but a big overgrown tough mama's boy. And I speak with that glee because the problem with society is we don't have enough mama's boys
[edit]
Quotes from acting
Do you know me? Of course you do. Cause I'm famous! (Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool)
Hey, you with the teeth... (Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool)
No, I don't hate Balboa. I pity the fool. --Rocky III
First name Mr, middle name period, last name T
Hey, sucka!
Shut up Murdock, crazy fool!
I ain't getting on no plane, Hannibal!
Where's the meat? This sandwich is full of weeds! I ain't eatin' nothing I don't understand!
I got no time for the jibba-jabba.
Don't make me mad, Arrr!
I pity the fool, thug, or soul who tries to take over the world.
Shut up fool, I ain't get on no plane, fool !
Shut up, fool!
Be there! (NBC promotional spot, 1983)
Mother, I always Love Her. My Mother. So treat Her right, treat Her right.
It's a crack baby....FOOL (Mr.T and the T-Force issue#1)
Calvin Klein and Gloria Vanderbilt don't wear clothes with your name on it, so why should you wear their name? --Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool!
Anger - use it, but don't lose it! --Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool!