Cheesiest movie of all time

[pedro]

didn any1 watch that cringe inducing piece of American propaganda Pearl Harbour last nite? omg!! did the guy that wrote actually look at what he wrote? here's a "pearler", English Captain to Ben Affleck, who has volunteered to fight for the Brits in the Battle of Britain......... "Some people frown on the Yanks for not being in this war. I'd just like to say that if there are any more back home like you, God help anyone who goes to war with America".......Read it again it gets funnier every time!! ha, those yanks are so far up their own arses it's unbelievable!!
I challenge any1 to come up with a cheesier film... it just cant be done!

[Lionel Ritchie]

You're right. It can't be done.
I checked in and out of it for 20 second bursts (much like the machine gun fire ...no-one on set ever fired a gun obviously) based on my absolutley correct assumption that, much like Titanic, you could switch it on with 25 minutes to go and miss nothing of an importance.

It's basically a story of a trollope playing two rednecks against the middle with the somewhat more grave tale of Pearl Harbour as tinsel.
The female lead and her nurse buddies put in a performance of jaw dropping awfulness not seen since Tiffany Amber Thysen was in 'Saved By The Bell'.

I recall when it came out there was talk that Japanese people might find it offensive -darn tootin'. On evidence presented here Japanese pilots are stone fcukin blind and couldn't hit a barn from inside the thing -much less a plane that's filling their windscreen and is doing less than 150mph having just taken off.

American pilots on the other hand are a different breed. They can shoot down the filthy jap two at a time despite the fact he's flying 3 times faster than them, Furthermore they can knock up a kill tally in one mission that rivals what aces achieved in the entire battle of Britain and do so in planes that took off cold and attained no altitude.

...and it's based on a true story:p

[Block G Raptor]

.

...and it's based on a true story:p

Not to mention the FACT that not one american plane actually got off the ground that day

[the 12 th man]

Maid in Manhattan:eek:

[Green Tribe]

Maid in Manhattan:eek:

I haven't watched that due to the fact that I assumed it would be cheesy sh!te. As for Pearl Harbour, was amazed at what a load of ballax it was, watched it a few years ago...:rolleyes:

[the 12 th man]

I haven't watched that due to the fact that I assumed it would be cheesy sh!te. As for Pearl Harbour, was amazed at what a load of ballax it was, watched it a few years ago...:rolleyes:


For cheesiness it would take P H to the cleaners.Jennifer Lopez and a disasterously mis-cast Ralph Fiennes.Truely awful...........

[Lionel Ritchie]

For cheesiness it would take P H to the cleaners.Jennifer Lopez and a disasterously mis-cast Ralph Fiennes.Truely awful...........

Fiennes said he "wanted to broaden his stylistic base". :D

Kinda like anyone who was ever in Friends saying "actually I enjoy appearing in sh|t films":)

[Green Tribe]

For cheesiness it would take P H to the cleaners.Jennifer Lopez and a disasterously mis-cast Ralph Fiennes.Truely awful...........

I knew she was in it, but did not know about Ralph! :eek: Didn't think he would appear it such pish....

[Aberdonian Stu]

Two words: Michael Bay.

The man who is striving to become (and in my view has already achieved the title of) worst director of all time.

If anyone here has seen Team America World Police just remember the "I miss you" song.

[Wiseguy]

Message in a bottle.I seen it years ago.I think Kevin Costner is in it.Anyway it made me want to tear my eyes out and stamp on them for watching such crap.

[Maz]

Cheesy but Ben and Josh looked great didnt they ;)

[Pauro 76]

Dirty Dancing... (was forced to watch the movie, honest!) that bit where Swayze goes... Nobody leaves Baby in the corner. Cringe! and Top Gun where Cruise goes karoake..

[the 12 th man]

Dirty Dancing... (was forced to watch the movie, honest!) that bit where Swayze goes... Nobody leaves Baby in the corner. Cringe!..


"I had, the time of my life " watching that movie:rolleyes: ;)

[Maz]

Swayze looked great though didnt he pauro? :p

[thejollyrodger]

not as bad as titantic . it was complete muck

[Neish]

Cheesy, American, Patriotic, bulls*it.
Probably George W. Bush fav film of all time

[Pauro 76]

Swayze looked great though didnt he pauro? :p

What? ehhhh nooo! :rolleyes: :)

[Maz]

What? ehhhh nooo! :rolleyes: :)
Course he did...he looked great

[M@ttitude]

Just saw "Rent" with my girlfriend.. The cinema was full of women crying at a bunch of gay, aids ridden homeless people singing the cheesiest songs in the world! not sure if its out yet back home! Worth seeing for the craic!(literally)

[hamish]

I watched the bit where he was trying to cover up his dyslexia and ended up getting two very long needles up his hole from the sexy nurse and the pleasure she seemed to get doing it.
The bit where he meets her and her friends off the train did it for me....after that I lost the will to live and went to bed.:)

[Ruairi]

Just saw "Rent" with my girlfriend.. The cinema was full of women crying at a bunch of gay, aids ridden homeless people singing the cheesiest songs in the world! not sure if its out yet back home! Worth seeing for the craic!(literally)

made me think of the scene in team america and i busted my ass off laughing :)

"so this is the end of our story.. and everyone is dead from aids..."

"the pope has got it and so do you" etc etc...

oh yeah.. "Matt Damon".....

http://www.trippas.cl/arti/ene05/tamerica04.jpg

[Maz]

You've got mail is another extremely cheesy movie

[Green Tribe]

Course he did...he looked great

I'm not afraid to admit i loved dirty dancing, i agree maz, patrick swayze was damn fit, haven't seen dirty dancing II though, don't think it would be the same without swayze..;)

cheesy, my arse Pauro, it was great! :D

[Gareth]

Ok cheesiest movies, well cheesiest moments are easier and heres a list:
The list of big cheese moments:

“Titanic”: Leonardo DiCaprio’s “I’m the king of the world!”
“Dirty Dancing”: Patrick Swayze’s “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”
“Four Weddings And A Funeral”: Andie McDowell’s “Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed.”
“Ghost”: Demi Moore’s “Ditto,” to Patrick Swayze’s “I love you.”
“Top Gun”: Val Kilmer to Tom Cruise: “You can be my wingman anytime”
“Notting Hill”: Julia Roberts’ “I’m just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love her.”
“Independence Day”: Bill Pullman’s “Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”
“Braveheart”: Mel Gibson’s “They may take our lives, but they will not take our freedom!”
“Jerry Maguire”: Renee Zellweger to Tom Cruise: “You had me at hello.”
“The Postman”: A blind woman says to Kevin Costner: “You’re a godsend, a savior.” He replies: “No, I’m a postman.”

[Lim till i die]

Can't believe no ones mentioned Wallace and Gromit. There's cheese everywhere in that :p :o

[Ruairi]

^^

Rofl!!

[Bluebeard]

Fortunately I have avoided Pearl Harbour to date. Aside from Titanic, two of the worst I have ended up seeing would have to be Armageddon and The Core.

Armageddon is what one would expect - Michael Bay, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler - you are on familiar territory here, you know what is going to happen, and you know you'll eventually dump the girl that rented it for this and similar crimes. Reprehensible on far too many levels to spend time on.

The Core, on the other hand seemed like it might be an alright film masquerading as an iffy one, but turned out to be a repellantly bad and offensive cheese fest. Directed by Jon Amiel - who did Copycat - and starring Hilary Swank and Stanley Tucci, it seemed like it was worth the punt. Never have I felt so deceived, so used. Avoid this like the vast balck hole of time that it is.

Incidentally, seeing as this is essentially the Michael Bay thread, it appears that he has only made 7 films to date, and is currently working on the new Transformers film. Even Orson Welles must be turning in his grave.

[The Stars]

cheesiest movie of all time.......A night in Paris Stilton.

[tiktok]

Anything with Edam Sandler in it :D

Dirty Dancing is definitely in a cheese league of it's own though.

[Green Tribe]

Anything with Edam Sandler in it :D

Dirty Dancing is definitely in a cheese league of it's own though.

No Tiktok, DD is class! Armageddon, have to agree, it actually bored the hell out of me...first time i watched it i was in france, was sleepy after a long day cycling and fell asleep in the cinema :o then decided to give it another go when i came home, watched it on video, fell asleep AGAIN! :eek:

On another note, went to see 'In her shoes' yesterday...very good, thought it might be cheesy american chick flick but it was good and funny. I am sure all the men will enjoy cameron in it!

[sligoman]

On another note, went to see 'In her shoes' yesterday...very good, thought it might be cheesy american chick flick but it was good and funny. I am sure all the men will enjoy cameron in it!:), shouldn't this be in the Totty thread;).

[Green Tribe]

:), shouldn't this be in the Totty thread;).

no, i am recommending a film. :rolleyes:

[monkey magic]

cant believe no-one has mentioned free willy yet!

or anything with that turd steven segal in it...:rolleyes:

sleepless in seattle never fails to put me to sleep:)

[Green Tribe]

maybe not cheesy, but complete sh1te - The Garden State. was in cinema last year :rolleyes:

[strangeirish]

Anything with that gimp Jean-Claude Van Damme in it, prancing across the screen like he has poker stuck up his hole!:mad: I think I'll call Chuck to go kick his ass.

[Green Tribe]

Anything with that gimp Jean-Claude Van Damme in it, prancing across the screen like he has poker stuck up his hole!:mad: I think I'll call Chuck to go kick his ass.

aw, but he was fit, strangeirish, you have to admit...:D

[RedX]

didn any1 watch that cringe inducing piece of American propaganda Pearl Harbour last nite? omg!! did the guy that wrote actually look at what he wrote? here's a "pearler", English Captain to Ben Affleck, who has volunteered to fight for the Brits in the Battle of Britain......... "Some people frown on the Yanks for not being in this war. I'd just like to say that if there are any more back home like you, God help anyone who goes to war with America".......Read it again it gets funnier every time!! ha, those yanks are so far up their own arses it's unbelievable!!
I challenge any1 to come up with a cheesier film... it just cant be done!



Jesus Ben Affleck...that guy is more cheesey than a mouse's stomach....:eek:

[Lim till i die]

maybe not cheesy, but complete sh1te - The Garden State. was in cinema last year :rolleyes:

Oh My God. That film. :mad:

Approxiamately three days of two unattractive, reppellant, social misfits boring themselves and me to within an inch of our collective lives. I sincerely hope someone got fired over that one.

Thanks for reminding me of it all over again. :p

[tiktok]

maybe not cheesy, but complete sh1te - The Garden State. was in cinema last year :rolleyes:

Granted the ending was poor but I thought it was great.

Never said Dirty Dancing was a bad film G&T, just that it was a cheesy one. ;)

[Hulsey]

Has to be Jack Frost 2- Revenge of the mutant killer snowman. It's held it fcuking hawii for fcuks sake!!! Oh yeah, in the end he's killed by bananas. So cheesy but possably the funniest film of all time. Real porn film acting and dialoge involved.

[aido_b]

I cant believe that nobodys mentioned this film yet, ladies and gentlemen i give you the worst irish accents in history ... "Far and Away" Tom and Nicole in one of the most cringeworthy films I've ever seen. especially the scene when Tom is asking Nicole (shannon) ... "Shannon, tell me you like my hat, say it" in quite possibly the worst irish accent ever! :D

[hamish]

cant believe no-one has mentioned free willy yet!

Sssssshhhhhhhhhhh, keep it quiet will ya!!

Next thing, y'know, some of the girls here:p will be sending you PMs asking


Where, where, where????:D

[babydol]

Sssssshhhhhhhhhhh, keep it quiet will ya!!

Next thing, y'know, some of the girls here:p will be sending you PMs asking


Where, where, where????:D


And some of us won't!!:D

[hamish]

And some of us won't!!

That's 'cos you're a MATURE (honk) person unlike some others here I could name.
(Hope "they" - they know who they are - read that):D LOL

babydol - any connection with Babysis????? Seems that BUTTER (honk) wouldn't melt in your mouth.

I mean, we have aidoB and aidoM.:confused:

BTW - anyone ever seen the Bad Movies channel on the Sky Movies set up.
Some gems there allright.

There's a certain KRAFT (honk) to making cheesey films, some of the Italian films, especially, are so bad they're almost GOUDA (honk) but some are so likeable I get kinda FONDUE (honk) of them, even if a lot of them CURDLE (honk) my stomach...........Boom Boom

Getting coat, exiting under an ABONDANCE (honk) of abuse. :D

[3 Heroes]

Maybe it was already mentioned, but OMG Cocktail

[strangeirish]

aw, but he was fit, strangeirish, you have to admit...:D
Fit alright. Fit to be hit in the head with a hammer!!!:eek: :D

[hamish]

Some really cheesey films:

I Want Someone to Eat Cheese with (2005)
Directed by Jeff Garlin

Ham & Cheese
2004 - Canada - Mockumentary

I Am the Cheese
1983 - USA - Psychological Thriller

Seriously, the above are real films.:eek:

Then there are:

Patton:Vats of Glory (1957)

The Malcheese Falcon (1941)

The Princess Briede (1987)

Life of Brien (1979)

Brief Encounter (1949)

The Curds of the Black Pearl (2003) (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Brieng John Malcovich (1999)

Curdle 2 the Grave

Edamy Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

K-19, The Widowmilker

Master and Collander

Screamers

Don't say a Curd

Butch Calcium and the Sundance Kid

The outlaw Josey Wheyles

The Man who shot Liberty Valencay

I think that's enough terrible cheesey titles.

I'm really going now.:D I'll be pasteurise before you know it.:o

[hudhastings]

Angus!! "you get a boner in your stomach" is the very cheesy also>>

[aido_b]

Some really cheesey films:

I Want Someone to Eat Cheese with (2005)
Directed by Jeff Garlin

Ham & Cheese
2004 - Canada - Mockumentary

I Am the Cheese
1983 - USA - Psychological Thriller

Seriously, the above are real films

Then there are:

Patton:Vats of Glory (1957)

The Malcheese Falcon (1941)

The Princess Briede (1987)

Life of Brien (1979)

Brief Encounter (1949)

The Curds of the Black Pearl (2003) (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Brieng John Malcovich (1999)

Curdle 2 the Grave

Edamy Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

K-19, The Widowmilker

Master and Collander

Screamers

Don't say a Curd

Butch Calcium and the Sundance Kid

The outlaw Josey Wheyles

The Man who shot Liberty Valencay

I think that's enough terrible cheesey titles.

I'm really going now.:D I'll be pasteurise before you know it.:o

could somebody please ban hamish (the cheese machine!) for at least a week for that last post!:D

[finlma]

maybe not cheesy, but complete sh1te - The Garden State. was in cinema last year :rolleyes:

that was a brilliant film - one of the best last year. Clever jokes and a nice story.

You liked In Her Shoes so enough said I suppose.