Whats your best/worst chat up line?

[padjoe]

just wondering what chat up lines do any you made feckers use in a club?

my current one is how heavy is a polar bear?
heavy enough to break the ice

[superfrank]

I always say to my girlfriend: Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

(It's worked sometimes but I won't get into that...)

But I wouldn't use it if I was trying to chat someone up.

[Jon'o]

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

unfertilized now.... fk off and let me finish my drink in quiet

was one of my more unsucessful lines :mad:

[Superhoops]

just wondering what chat up lines do any you made feckers use in a club?

my current one is how heavy is a polar bear?
heavy enough to break the ice
I assume you go home on your own then!!!

[padjoe]

I assume you go home on your own then!!!

yeah i dont get very far. ah well....

[Bosco]

Not a chat up line but hilarious

Go up to a girl sitting down and ask

"Do you wanna dance?"

"yeah,sure why not"

"Great,can i've your seat so"

[Troy.McClure]

On a similar vein to the polar bear:

Give the girl some ice and get her to put it on the ground and stamp on it with her foot... "Now that we've broken the ice :)......I'll get my coat" :D

[superfrank]

I'll get my coat :D
Please do.

[dahamsta]

I'm not a big fan of Dara O'Briain's, but he was the first person I heard use the line: "Get your coat, you've scored."

(Back when he was compering in Nancy's. How long ago was /that/!)

adam

[gustavo]

not a chat up line but go up to a girl and say i bet u a fiver i can make ur tits move without touching them . then grab a good feel and give her the fiver and say "looks like i lost " :D

[the 12 th man]

Sid The Sexist's finest:
"Do yeh drive love ?"
"Well then back into this would yeh"

[Drumcondra Red]

"Nice shoes, wanna fcuk?"

[carrickharp]

Your so sexy I would drink your bathwater :eek:

or if you get turned down

Would you like some hay?
No!
Well your the first cow that I ever seen turning down hay.

[Sliogán Dóite]

"If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"

or

"Oh, sh!t! I've lost my phone number. Can I've yours?"

[Cosmo]

'"Oh, sh!t! I've lost my phone number. Can I've yours?"'

thats the best one yet :D

[KR's Post]

Hi, is your name Gillette?
No! Why??
Because i just heard your the best a man could get.... ;)

Are you a parking meter?
Because you've got fine written all over you? ;)

Thats it i'm outta here!!!!!!

[Bosco]

"Is your dad a terrorist?
Cos you da bomb!"

"I dont have my library card but i'd like to check you out"

Both only to be used when you're smashed and looking for a slap

[Tony Montana]

QUOTE [Are you a parking meter?
Because you've got fine written all over you? ;)

A Quagmire classic from Family Guy!LOL

Peter:Hey, guys! Check it out. Quagmire's trying to get lucky.
Quagmire: Hey, gorgeous! You want to come home with me?
Lady: I'm with my husband.
Quagmire: Lose the zero, get with the hero!
(Husband punches Quagmire.)
Quagmire: Little violent for you, don't you think?
(Husband punches Quagmire again.)
Quagmire: I'll be right over there

Glen Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?
Meg Griffin: No.
Glen Quagmire: Awww right.

:cool:

[paul_oshea]

Would you like some hay?

quality.

fat penguins, and then she looks at ye like you have two heads, then go break the ice.

i like the only, ah sure your only woman.

cant say i use chat up lines, but i do sometime do use the cheesy lines just to get a reaction not to actually try and score them.

coming home from the church yesterday( quality quality place 12 in the afternoon 2,000 people singing and getting locked, quality) was told by train conductors in finsbury park that i would be forced to leave the station if i didnt stop messing. i asked this girl for her id and i went around the whole station and asked all the lads and girls was she good looking. the poor girl was so embarrassed but everyone was laughing like mad, just buzzin.

i dont think ye need chat up lines, if ye just go straight in and start messin and chatting away and laughing, it works every time. but its actually harder chat someone up in a club cos for one you cant hear what they are saying!!!

[Fair_play_boy]

The little bro swears he said this before he heard of anybody else saying it. (About 20 years ago in Killarney, BTW)
- Want to dance?
- No.
- Well, I suppose a BJ is out of the question so!

[sligoman]

Ye've probably heard it before but: I'm not Fred Flintstone but I bet I could make your bed rock :D :D.

[Pauro 76]

Worst one ive used... I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

cheesy, but the best comeback ive heard from one (used by myself)..

Asked some lass havent I seen you on a cover of a magazine recently? Knew it was cheesy but said it for a laugh anyway, she looked at me with a face like sour milk, and told me to rather charmingly f*ck off back to your own country or something. Said back to her, ah yes Canine Weekly thats the one! :)

[paul_oshea]

quality response.

i met this afrikans girl before and i said to her i love south african pool rules. she got it and laughed straight away broke the ice.

i would like to point out that it was only a joke btw. :o

[Peadar]

Not a chat up line but, I was in the Barge in Dublin a few years ago and a girl asked me to cut down a balloon which was part of some promotion. I did, she thanked me and asked if she could buy me a drink. I said "my girlfriend is at the bar getting me a drink right now." With that she grabbed onto me and started kissing me. Think women like the idea of stealing another womans man or something.

One of the funniest I've heard used successfully was a mate in college saying to a girl, "Didn't you used to pal around with Laura" (his girlfriend when he was 12)?
"Yeah", she replied.
"Wow, you've got such a better body than her now. Wanna go back to mine?"
She got her coat and dragged him out the door.

I guess it's one of those, you had to be there, stories.

[paul_oshea]

ya i think that is one of those sorta stories or im just a bit slow.

my missus says that birds do get some sorta kick out of that alright.

but are you sure you didnt kiss her and just tell your "girlfriend" that she kissed you. :D

[Peadar]

but are you sure you didnt kiss her and just tell your "girlfriend" that she kissed you. :D

I'm not joking you, anytime I was out with her, I used to have women trying it on. Remember being in a club once carrying two pints from the bar when a girl bumped into me and spilled some drink on my arms. I was wearing a short sleeved shirt so it was no big deal. By way of apologising, she licked the beer off my arm. There was nearly blood spilt that night! :eek: :D
The trouble I used to get in.
You'd think it was my fault or something.

[paul_oshea]

it always happens though when you are giong out with someone its like the cat instinct they can smell other cat on you.seriouslly.

im sure it wasnt your fault zalright :p :rolleyes:

[Green Tribe]

:eek: :eek: :eek:
Stop scaring the female population........ :eek:

[Peadar]

im sure it wasnt your fault zalright :p :rolleyes:


To be fair, she used to get plenty attention from guys as well.

I think most Irish guys and girls don't need chat up lines because we usually have no problem chatting.
The number of dating agencies, websites, speed dating nights etc. worries me though. Are we losing our ability to meet and talk to people in the traditional social scenes?

[Gareth]

Haha Peadar, clearly you are just too hot for your own good? But there is an element of truth in that, when you are with someone you seem to have more advances. I have a theory based on evenings of drinking chat with mates over this very point.

Basically when you are with someone, you are not as desparate as when you are single, so you'll seem more relaxed. You also have the added factor that if some girl is going out with you, the girl might think you might know a thing or two or your just normal enough to have a girl go out with you. Add to the fact that normally you don't have to follow thru on convo's with girls chatting with you or even looking over cos you mention I have a gf at some point so therefore alot of mere chats will form into your mind as I could of kissed her...

Then there is the fact some girls are just a bit evil when it comes to hunting other girls bfs, and getting something they cant have. :).
---------------

Worst chatup line I EVER heard was something I saw in action and working EVERY time. Basically you walk up to a girl not dancing and say "Nobody leaves baby in the corner". Apparently its a famous line in Dirty Dancing. When we heard this line (told to us by a girl) we laughed and laughed at its utter crapness, until she made three of the lads use it. Each time the girl targeted laughed and start chatting to the bloke. It highlighted two things to me. Chatup lines are utterly terrible and girls are strange.

[Peadar]

Basically when you are with someone, you are not as desparate as when you are single, so you'll seem more relaxed.

I think that certainly has a lot to do with it.

There are loads of evil women out there though.
I'm gone beyond being shocked by what some women will do.

[Gareth]

Peadar, somewhat enviously curious at what evil women have done to you , seeing as you have described being set up by a over happy balloon bearer, and licked by a pint spilling lady!!!

[Peadar]

Peadar, somewhat enviously curious at what evil women have done to you...

Maybe I'll tell you over a pint sometime.
Typically just women conspiring against one another.

[aido_b]

We made one of my pals use a couple of chat up lines in a pub one night for the laugh. We gave him the two ...

"Go get your coat you've pulled" and "Theres 20p go phone your ma and tell her ya won't be home tonight"

Now my mate was ****ed as a fart and he was only too happy to try chat up girls with these cheesy lines. Well anyways he strolled up to this stunner and said, "Theres 20p, go get your coat"

He'd mixed the two up and the girl and all of her friends and of course us as well all ****ed ourselves laughing at him! :D

[Ash]

Not that I can really remember, cos I was fairly drunk, but my girlfriend
assures me that my "chat up line" so to speak was strolling up to her at
the end of the nite club and asking her to mind my jacket while I went
off for a pee!

[Dawn_Run]

"My watch is psycic !! "
"How so?"
"It tells me that you're not wearing any underwear......oh no...sorry...its ten mins fast!!"

Works every time :p

[paul_oshea]

He'd mixed the two up and the girl and all of her friends and of course us as well all ****ed ourselves laughing at him!

wouldnt ye think he would have given her the extra 80p the cheap *******.

but ye know that could be a knew one, as so many women put their coats in now. ;)

[paul_oshea]

"My watch is psycic !! "

i think that would be better with, "my watch is fast i think"
because she is more likely to reply with
"is it" rather than how come for the above. then change the last line.

[Dawn_Run]

i think that would be better with, "my watch is fast i think"
because she is more likely to reply with
"is it" rather than how come for the above. then change the last line.

3 out of 4 people prefer Tayto, but...

[Drumcondra Red]

3 simple words lads; the high five!!! Great ice breaking because whether they admit it or not, chicks dig high 5's, Gareth back me up on this one, will you!?!

[exile]

im not great boyfriend material but im a good laugh simple but brutaly honest works everytime :D

[paul_oshea]

howareye girls, any craic?

breaks teh ice everytime, so long as you go in with a big smile and laughing.

[aido_b]

3 simple words lads; the high five!!! Great ice breaking because whether they admit it or not, chicks dig high 5's, Gareth back me up on this one, will you!?!

You're dead right buddy, one should never under estimate the power of the high 5!

[Gareth]

3 simple words lads; the high five!!! Great ice breaking because whether they admit it or not, chicks dig high 5's, Gareth back me up on this one, will you!?!

After extensive study into the "High Five" I would have to decline to agree. The reason a girl will high five you is:

1) The suddenness of the request will cause a instinctual reaction.
2) If you have your hand raised and are shouting at a woman, High Five, she'll high five out of worry and fear as your hand could as easy strike her.

Girls don't want to p1ss off a drunk lad charging at her with his hand in the air shouting a slurred "High Five". I also asked a number of "ladies" and they said fear and the hope the high five would satisfy the bloke so they will leave them alone would be the reason for the "High Five" getting a high five back!! :)

I am sorry Roy.

[Drumcondra Red]

I have proven this to you time and time again Gareth, its the only way to break the ice with the ladies, and you used agree with me until your bird polluted you mind, you should be banned from this thread!!!

[aido_b]

After extensive study into the "High Five" I would have to decline to agree. The reason a girl will high five you is:

1) The suddenness of the request will cause a instinctual reaction.
2) If you have your hand raised and are shouting at a woman, High Five, she'll high five out of worry and fear as your hand could as easy strike her.

Girls don't want to p1ss off a drunk lad charging at her with his hand in the air shouting a slurred "High Five". I also asked a number of "ladies" and they said fear and the hope the high five would satisfy the bloke so they will leave them alone would be the reason for the "High Five" getting a high five back!! :)

I am sorry Roy.

I'm in agreement with Drum Red, the legendary act that is "the high five" has worked quite well for me in previous occasions because if you high five a girl as she passes you in a club you'va already broken the ice. She'll remember you and as long as she doesn't see you high five slutting with loads of other girlies then she may well consider you one night stand material! :D

[Gareth]

I have proven this to you time and time again Gareth, its the only way to break the ice with the ladies, and you used agree with me until your bird polluted you mind, you should be banned from this thread!!!

My bird saved your life, so she did :) On a chat up line, my friend on discovering a juzzucci in the house we were in, approached a girl and asked her "How r' ya fixed for a bit of juccuzzi". To which she replyed, "Wha, r ya gonna fart in the bath huh?".

She was classy.

[anto eile]

"If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"

or

"Oh, sh!t! I've lost my phone number. Can I've yours?"


the chat up lines are all terrible.some are funny admittedly, but none could actualy be used in real life


NB sliogain dóite- you do know thats not the irish for shels dont you?

[Troy.McClure]

Mmm, Hi5 girls :) (http://www.five.tv/media/image/8506219.jpg)

[Sliogán Dóite]

Yeah I know anto eile, the Irish is Síol na mBrionn or something.
Sliogán Dóite is supposed to mean 'burnt shell'.