Film quotes

[paul_oshea]

ye are all just copying and pasting!!! if its your favourite it should come straight from your head!!!

gustavo good film that american beauty

[fosterdollar]

'Chut up'

That was from memory...
aha heh...

[gustavo]

well these are all off the top of my head and then get the right text to copy so its accurate!

[drinkfeckarse]

We're just lazy ;)

[carrickharp]

Best part from Life Of Brain. Man am I tired after typing all this out ;)

PONTIUS PILATE:
...Make one large living awea. Ahh.
CENTURION:
Hail Caesar.
PILATE:
Hail.
CENTURION:
Only one survivor, sir.
PILATE:
Ah. Thwow him to the floor.
CENTURION:
What, sir?
PILATE:
Thwow him to the floor.
CENTURION:
Ah.
[whump]
BRIAN:
Aagh!
PILATE:
Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?
BRIAN:
'Brian', sir.
PILATE:
'Bwian', eh?
BRIAN:
No, no. 'Brian'.
[slap]
Aah!
PILATE:
Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.
CENTURION:
Has what, sir?
PILATE:
Spiwit.
CENTURION:
Yes. He did, sir.
PILATE:
No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.
CENTURION:
Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.
PILATE:
So, you dare to waid us.

BRIAN:
To what, sir?
PILATE:
Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!
[slap]
BRIAN:
Aaah!
CENTURION:
Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?
PILATE:
What?
CENTURION:
Thwow him to the floor again, sir?
PILATE:
Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.
BRIAN:
Aah!
[whump]
PILATE:
Now, Jewish wapscallion.
BRIAN:
I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman.
PILATE:
A Woman?
BRIAN:
No, no. Roman.
[slap]
Aah!
PILATE:
So, your father was a Woman. Who was he?
BRIAN:
He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons.
PILATE:
Weally? What was his name?
BRIAN:
'Nortius Maximus'.
CENTURION:
Ahh, ha ha!
PILATE:
Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
CENTURION:
Well, no, sir.
PILATE:
Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?
CENTURION:
Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir.
GUARD #4:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
What's so... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?
CENTURION:
Well, it's a joke name, sir.
PILATE:
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
GUARD #4:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.
BRIAN:
Can I go now, sir?
[slap]
Aaah! Eh.
PILATE:
Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.
GUARD #4:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Wight! Take him away!
CENTURION:
Oh, sir, he-- he only--
PILATE:
No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.
CENTURION:
Yes, sir. Come on, you.
GUARD #4:
Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo...
PILATE:
I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...
GUARD #1:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
...Dickus?
GUARD #1:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name...

'Biggus'...
GUARD #3:
[chuckle]
PILATE:
...'Dickus'?
GUARD #1 and GUARD #2:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.
GUARDS:
[laughing]
PILATE:
Stop! What is all this?
GUARDS:
Ha, ha ha ha ha ha...
PILATE:
I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!

[pineapple stu]

He wanks as high as any in Wome! :D

[fosterdollar]

"He peed on my rug, man..."

[paul_oshea]

took me a min to remember that one, there seems to be a lot from the big lebowski, i wasnt to gone on that tbh

[tetsujin1979]

"I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables; or they're slaves with white collars. Advertisements have them chasing cars and clothes, working jobs they hate so they can buy sh!t they don't need. We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. We have no great war, or great depression. The great war is a spiritual war. The great depression is our lives. We were raised by television to believe that we'd be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars - but we won't. And we're learning that fact. And we're very, very p!ssed-off."

Lots of other cool quotes in the film, but this monologue is class

[Babysis]

sorry if this has already been posted:

"your only supposed to blow the bloody doors off"

and of course

"Im sean Thornton"

[fosterdollar]

You want a toe?

Best work by far from Joel Cohen but then again he's done feck all besides bar Toy Story

Also Just Dropped In by Kenny Rogers is class in the 'bowling' trip scene.

[fosterdollar]

"We're something, aren't we? The only animals that shove things up their ass for survival."

[Kingdom]

"I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables; or they're slaves with white collars. Advertisements have them chasing cars and clothes, working jobs they hate so they can buy sh!t they don't need. We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. We have no great war, or great depression. The great war is a spiritual war. The great depression is our lives. We were raised by television to believe that we'd be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars - but we won't. And we're learning that fact. And we're very, very p!ssed-off."

Lots of other cool quotes in the film, but this monologue is classTechnically isn't the majority of that film a monologue.
Considering Brad Pitt's character doesn't actually exist..

[paul_oshea]

Technically isn't the majority of that film a monologue.

there is always one... :rolleyes:

[Nempton]

For great quotes look no further than Brodie in 'Mallrats'. I just love the gags about cousin Walter.

Brodie: One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I saw him in the pet store. He was buying another cat! I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
__________________________________________________ _______________
Brandie: Second suitor, would you ever make whoopie in public?

Brodie: I already did once today! But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on this plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane starts spinning around, going out of control, so he figures it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad! So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and they land safely and everyone puts their penises or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

Gill: Well, did he cum, or what?

Brodie: Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

[Nempton]

From 'Chasing Amy', great humour here as Hooper (who is African Amercian) is giving a speech about minorities in comics, starts to get agitated especially by Jason Lee's character Banky

HOOPER
(holds up comic)
Now my book, `White-Hating Coon',
doesn't have any of that bull****. The
hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's a
descendant of the black tribe that
established the first society on the
planet, while all you European mother
****ers were still hiding in caves and
****, all terrified of the sun. He's a
strong role model that a young black
reader can look up to, `Cause I'm here
to tell you - the chickens are comin'
home to roost, ya'll: the black man's
no longer gonna play the minstrel in
the medium of comics and Sci-
Fi/Fantasy! We're keeping it real,
and we're gonna get respect -
by any means necessary!

During the speech, Holden and Banky enter and sit up
front.

HOLDEN
(calling out)
Bull****! Lando Calrissian was a
black man, and he got to fly the
Millennium Falcon!

Hooper whips his head around, looking for the source of
the comment

HOOPER
Who said that?!?

HOLDEN
(standing)
I did! Lando Calrissian is a positive
black role model in the realm of
Science Fiction/Fantasy.

HOOPER
**** Lando Calrissian! Uncle Tom
******! Always some white boy gotta
invoke `the holy trilogy'! Bust this -
those movies are about how the white
man keeps the brother man down - even
in a galaxy far, far away. Check
this ****. You got cracker farm-boy
Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy -
blond hair, blue eyes.
And then you've got Darth
Vader: the blackest brother in the
galaxy. Nubian God.

BANKY
What's a Nubian?

HOOPER
Shut the **** up! Now Vader, he's a
spiritual brother, with the force and
all that ****. Then this cracker
Skywalker gets his hands on a light-
saber, and the boy decides he's
gonna run the ****ing universe - gets
a whole Klan of whites together, and
they're gonna bust up Vader's `hood
the Death Star. Now what the **** do
you call that!

BANKY
Intergalactic Civil War!

HOOPER
Gentrification. They're gonna drive
our the black element, to make the
galaxy quote, unquote `safe' for white
folks.

HOLDEN
But Vader turns, out to be Luke's
father. And in Jedi, they become
friends.

HOOPER
Don't make me bust a cap in your ass,
yo! Jedi's the most insulting
installment, because Vader's
beautiful, black visage is
sullied when he pulls off his mask to
reveal a feeble, crusty white man!
They're trying to tell us that deep
inside, we all want to be white!

BANKY
Well isn't that true!

[Kingdom]

there is always one... :rolleyes:

I was just saying. Go off an bother Babysis ffs.....

[Kingdom]

For great quotes look no further than Brodie in 'Mallrats'. I just love the gags about cousin Walter.

Brodie: One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I saw him in the pet store. He was buying another cat! I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
__________________________________________________ _______________
Brandie: Second suitor, would you ever make whoopie in public?

Brodie: I already did once today! But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on this plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane starts spinning around, going out of control, so he figures it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad! So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and they land safely and everyone puts their penises or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

Gill: Well, did he cum, or what?

Brodie: Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

excellent excellent film. Also made me hate that muthafcuker Ben Affleck so bad, anyway what an anti hero that sarcastic guy is.

[Tony Montana]

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money! And where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

[gustavo]

ok this is my last one i promise!
from dumb and dumber

Lloyd Christmas: When I met Mary, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry Dunne: That's a special feeling.


i think it was pauline kael who said "if you dont like godfather part II then fúck you". well for me it's "if you dont like dumb and dumber then fúck you" .

[paul_oshea]

i think it was pauline kael who said "if you dont like godfather part II then fúck you". well for me it's "if you dont like dumb and dumber then fúck you" .

gustavo well fcuken said.here here.

thats a special feeling alright!!!

[the 12 th man]

" in vino veritas" :cool:

[Babysis]

Sylvo, one for you and big sis:

"And in the morning, im making Waffles" :D
Best film ever made, best line by a donkey :p

Best line by a cat:

"you capitalist pig dog"

[jorge]

Im sure its been mentioned before so here it is "Say hello to my little friend"

[jorge]

Heres an other one,I forgot the bit before it "p-p-y right there" by Shooter and "Happy the gold jacket is yours Shooter gona choke" :D ,well i found it halarius.