Pauro 76
28/02/2002, 12:57 PM
The collected writings of the Simpsons from the chalkboard exercises that Bart writes during the opening credits.
>I will not carve gods.
<LI>I will not spank others.
<LI>I will not aim for the head.
<LI>I will not barf unless I'm sick
<LI>I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
<LI>I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
<LI>I will not conduct my own fire drills.
<LI>Funny noises are not funny.
<LI>I will not snap bras.
<LI>I will not fake seizures.
<LI>This punishment is not boring and pointless.
<LI>My name is not Dr. Death.
<LI>I will not defame New Orleans.
<LI>I will not prescribe medication.
<LI>I will not bury the new kid.
<LI>I will not teach others to fly.
<LI>I will not bring sheep to class.
<LI>A burp is not an answer.
<LI>Teacher is not a leper.
<LI>Coffee is not for kids.
<LI>I will not eat things for money.
<LI>I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
<LI>The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
<LI>I will not call the principal "spud head".
<LI>Goldfish don't bounce.
<LI>Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
<LI>No one is interested in my underpants.
<LI>I will not sell miracle cures.
<LI>I will return the seeing-eye dog.
<LI>I do not have diplomatic immunity.
<LI>I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
<LI>I will never win an emmy.
<LI>The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
<LI>All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
<LI>I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
<LI>I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
<LI>My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
<LI>I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
<LI>I am not deliciously saucy.
<LI>Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
<LI>The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
<LI>I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
<LI>There are plenty of businesses like show business.
<LI>Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
<LI>I will not waste chalk.
<LI>I will not skateboard in the halls.
<LI>I will not instigate revolution.
<LI>I will not draw naked ladies in class.
<LI>I did not see Elvis.
<LI>I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
<LI>Garlic gum is not funny.
<LI>They are laughing at me, not with me.
<LI>I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
<LI>I will not encourage others to fly.
<LI>I will not fake my way through life.
<LI>Tar is not a plaything.
<LI>I will not Xerox my butt.
<LI>It's potato, not potatoe.
<LI>I will not trade pants with others.
<LI>I am not a 32 year old woman.
<LI>I will not do that thing with my tongue.
<LI>I will not drive the principal's car.
<LI>I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
<LI>I will not sell school property.
<LI>I will not burp in class.
<LI>I will not cut corners.
<LI>I will not get very far with this attitude.
<LI>I will not belch the National Anthem.
<LI>I will not sell land in Florida.
<LI>I will not grease the monkey bars.
<LI>I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
<LI>I will not do anything bad ever again.
<LI>I will not show off.
<LI>I will not sleep through my education.
<LI>I am not a dentist.
<LI>Spitwads are not free speech.
<LI>Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
<LI>High explosives and school don't mix.
<LI>I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
<LI>I will not squeak chalk.
<LI>I will finish what I sta
<LI>"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
<LI>Underwear should be worn on the inside.
<LI>The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
<LI>I will not torment the emotionally frail.
>I will not carve gods.
<LI>I will not spank others.
<LI>I will not aim for the head.
<LI>I will not barf unless I'm sick
<LI>I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
<LI>I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
<LI>I will not conduct my own fire drills.
<LI>Funny noises are not funny.
<LI>I will not snap bras.
<LI>I will not fake seizures.
<LI>This punishment is not boring and pointless.
<LI>My name is not Dr. Death.
<LI>I will not defame New Orleans.
<LI>I will not prescribe medication.
<LI>I will not bury the new kid.
<LI>I will not teach others to fly.
<LI>I will not bring sheep to class.
<LI>A burp is not an answer.
<LI>Teacher is not a leper.
<LI>Coffee is not for kids.
<LI>I will not eat things for money.
<LI>I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
<LI>The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
<LI>I will not call the principal "spud head".
<LI>Goldfish don't bounce.
<LI>Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
<LI>No one is interested in my underpants.
<LI>I will not sell miracle cures.
<LI>I will return the seeing-eye dog.
<LI>I do not have diplomatic immunity.
<LI>I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
<LI>I will never win an emmy.
<LI>The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
<LI>All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
<LI>I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
<LI>I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
<LI>My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
<LI>I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
<LI>I am not deliciously saucy.
<LI>Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
<LI>The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
<LI>I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
<LI>There are plenty of businesses like show business.
<LI>Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
<LI>I will not waste chalk.
<LI>I will not skateboard in the halls.
<LI>I will not instigate revolution.
<LI>I will not draw naked ladies in class.
<LI>I did not see Elvis.
<LI>I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
<LI>Garlic gum is not funny.
<LI>They are laughing at me, not with me.
<LI>I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
<LI>I will not encourage others to fly.
<LI>I will not fake my way through life.
<LI>Tar is not a plaything.
<LI>I will not Xerox my butt.
<LI>It's potato, not potatoe.
<LI>I will not trade pants with others.
<LI>I am not a 32 year old woman.
<LI>I will not do that thing with my tongue.
<LI>I will not drive the principal's car.
<LI>I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
<LI>I will not sell school property.
<LI>I will not burp in class.
<LI>I will not cut corners.
<LI>I will not get very far with this attitude.
<LI>I will not belch the National Anthem.
<LI>I will not sell land in Florida.
<LI>I will not grease the monkey bars.
<LI>I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
<LI>I will not do anything bad ever again.
<LI>I will not show off.
<LI>I will not sleep through my education.
<LI>I am not a dentist.
<LI>Spitwads are not free speech.
<LI>Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
<LI>High explosives and school don't mix.
<LI>I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
<LI>I will not squeak chalk.
<LI>I will finish what I sta
<LI>"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
<LI>Underwear should be worn on the inside.
<LI>The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
<LI>I will not torment the emotionally frail.