gwanyagoodting
04/02/2002, 2:10 PM
26 Things the Movies Taught You...
1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people-whether
they are employed or not.
2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born
evil.
3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry
which wire to cut. You will always choose the right
one.
4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to
override the communications system of any invading
alien society.
5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered
in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will
wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing
around in a threatening manner until you have knocked
out their predecessors.
6) When you turn out the light to go to bed,
everything in your bedroom will still be clearly
visible, just slightly bluish.
7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to
become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of
22.
8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally
gunned down three days before their retirement.
9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer
to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery
involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers
and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives
at least 20 minutes to escape.
10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that
reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist
level on the man lying beside her.
11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one
stick of French bread.
12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing
there is someone in the control tower to talk you
down.
13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even
while scuba diving.
14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any
war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a
picture of your sweetheart back home.
15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German
or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak
the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in
Paris.
17) A man will show no pain while taking the most
ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries
to clean his wounds.
18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will
be thrown through it before long.
19) If staying in a haunted house, women should
investigate any strange noises in their most revealing
underwear.
20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen
but will always say: "Enter Password Now."
21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road,
it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously
from left to right every few moments.
22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing
devices with large red readouts so you know exactly
when they're going to go off.
23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
24) If you decide to start dancing in the street,
everyone you meet will know all the steps.
25) Police departments give their officers personality
tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a
partner who is their total opposite.
26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers
prefer to speak to each other in English.
1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people-whether
they are employed or not.
2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born
evil.
3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry
which wire to cut. You will always choose the right
one.
4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to
override the communications system of any invading
alien society.
5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered
in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will
wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing
around in a threatening manner until you have knocked
out their predecessors.
6) When you turn out the light to go to bed,
everything in your bedroom will still be clearly
visible, just slightly bluish.
7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to
become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of
22.
8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally
gunned down three days before their retirement.
9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer
to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery
involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers
and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives
at least 20 minutes to escape.
10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that
reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist
level on the man lying beside her.
11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one
stick of French bread.
12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing
there is someone in the control tower to talk you
down.
13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even
while scuba diving.
14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any
war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a
picture of your sweetheart back home.
15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German
or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak
the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in
Paris.
17) A man will show no pain while taking the most
ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries
to clean his wounds.
18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will
be thrown through it before long.
19) If staying in a haunted house, women should
investigate any strange noises in their most revealing
underwear.
20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen
but will always say: "Enter Password Now."
21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road,
it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously
from left to right every few moments.
22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing
devices with large red readouts so you know exactly
when they're going to go off.
23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
24) If you decide to start dancing in the street,
everyone you meet will know all the steps.
25) Police departments give their officers personality
tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a
partner who is their total opposite.
26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers
prefer to speak to each other in English.