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A face
23/02/2005, 3:47 PM
A man gets to his plane seat and is surprised to find a parrot
strapped into the seat next to him. Once in the air, the stewardess
comes around and the man asks her for a cup of coffee, whereupon the parrot squawks,
"Bring me a whiskey, bítch."
The stewardess, somewhat flustered, brings a whiskey to the parrot,
but forgets the coffee. When the man points this out to her, the parrot
immediately drains its glass and yells,"Get me another whiskey, bítch."
Quite upset, the stewardess returns shortly with a whiskey for the
parrot, but still no coffee for the man. Unaccustomed to such
slackness, the man decides to try the parrot's approach.
"I've asked you twice for a coffee, bítch, now go and get it for me."
In a couple of seconds, two burly stewards arrive, grab both the man
and the parrot, take them to the emergency exit and toss them both out
of the airplane. As they're falling toward the ground, the parrot turns
to the man and says, "You know, for someone who can't fly, you're kind
of a mouthy bástard."

joeSoap
23/02/2005, 3:49 PM
VERY GOOD.........In 1982 when it was passed around our school.. :)

Lionel Ritchie
24/02/2005, 10:00 AM
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

A man sits on a couch in his living room reading a paper while in a bird cage a parrot sits quietly on it's perch.
The mans wife sticks her head 'round the door, grabs her car keys and says "I'm just off to the shops".

The parrot says, "Squawk ...off to the shops .........time for a w4nk!!!"

galwaygirl
24/02/2005, 10:16 AM
> A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a
> > large beautiful
> > parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said
> > $50.00.
> >
> > "Why so little,"she asked the pet store owner. The
> > owner looked at her
> > and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this
> > bird used to live in
> > a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some
> > pretty vulgar
> > stuff."
> >
> > The woman thought about this, but decided she had to
> > have the bird
> > anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up
> > in her living room
> > and waited for it to say something. The bird looked
> > around the room,
> > then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
> >
> > The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but
> > then thought "that's
> > not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned
> > from school the
> > bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new
> > girls." The girls and
> > the woman were a bit offended but then began to
> > laugh about the
> > situation.
> >
> > Moments later, the woman'shusband, Keith, came home
> > from work. The bird
> > looked at him and said,
> >
> > "Hi Keith.
> >
> >
> >

carrickharp
24/02/2005, 11:33 AM
Polyunsaturated (http://www.geocities.com/iamjamesbyrne/polly.bmp )