Bondvillain
11/10/2004, 11:45 AM
Conflicting reports in the press today:
IRISH INDEPENDENT (Circulation :150k) "Midfield general Roy Keane is believed to be a doubt for Irelands World Cup Qualifier against the Faroe's on Wednesday. The 33 Yr old is understood to have picked up a knock in Saturdays scoreless draw with France"
DAILY FERGUSON (Circulation: 1) Medical Superhero Alex Ferguson's worst fears were proven correct this morning, as the slight 'click' sound he heard in his Manchester home on Saturday night turned out to be Roy Keanes aul' Knee giving him gyp, several hundered miles away in Paris. Ferguson, who has diagnosed many serious injuries to his players on international duty via the telly before, was particularly proud of this diagnosis, as he wasnt even watching the match, simply using his highly-honed "Fergie-sense" to detect that his favourite son was experiencing some discomfort. "A flight to manchester is the only treatment for a Knee Gyp injury such as this", said a majestically wise ferguson today, " and none of this Faroe Island Bollockology, thank you very much."
Ferguson is expected to diagnose other maladys later today for O Shea (Suspected narcolepsy) Miller (Possible Infected bum from Bench splinters) and Mssrs. Sylvestre & Saha (Frenchness. Incurable)
IRISH INDEPENDENT (Circulation :150k) "Midfield general Roy Keane is believed to be a doubt for Irelands World Cup Qualifier against the Faroe's on Wednesday. The 33 Yr old is understood to have picked up a knock in Saturdays scoreless draw with France"
DAILY FERGUSON (Circulation: 1) Medical Superhero Alex Ferguson's worst fears were proven correct this morning, as the slight 'click' sound he heard in his Manchester home on Saturday night turned out to be Roy Keanes aul' Knee giving him gyp, several hundered miles away in Paris. Ferguson, who has diagnosed many serious injuries to his players on international duty via the telly before, was particularly proud of this diagnosis, as he wasnt even watching the match, simply using his highly-honed "Fergie-sense" to detect that his favourite son was experiencing some discomfort. "A flight to manchester is the only treatment for a Knee Gyp injury such as this", said a majestically wise ferguson today, " and none of this Faroe Island Bollockology, thank you very much."
Ferguson is expected to diagnose other maladys later today for O Shea (Suspected narcolepsy) Miller (Possible Infected bum from Bench splinters) and Mssrs. Sylvestre & Saha (Frenchness. Incurable)