Jokes (READ FIRST POST)

[hamish]

You throw 'em up brother and I'll have to keep hittin' them :D Of course, you wouldn't expect anything less ;)

Feed my masochism, strangeirish, feed my masochism. LOL

I'd be greatly troubled if I didn't get a good slag from you every day or so. ;) :D

[strangeirish]

For all us ould lads....

[strangeirish]

Blonde in Pain

A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt.
The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where."
The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!"
Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!"
She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!"
She looked at her doctor and said, "See? It hurts everywhere!"
The doctor laughed and said, "Don't worry; it's not serious. You''ve just got a broken index finger."

[Fair_play_boy]

Good one about the blonde person. :D Does not deserve to be in this thread at all at all!
Now, this is truly awful . . . . .
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see"
Watson replied, "I see millions and millons of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billons of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorlogically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes sighed, was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you fool. Someone stole our tent."
Boom Boom!!

[Green Tribe]

Feed my masochism, strangeirish, feed my masochism. LOL

I'd be greatly troubled if I didn't get a good slag from you every day or so. ;) :D

You flirting with Strangeirish hamish? :eek: :D

[strangeirish]

You flirting with Strangeirish hamish? :eek: :D
Egads :eek: :eek: KT, what????????

[strangeirish]

Vehna May and her friend, Cora Sue, were having an afternoon coffee klatch.
"Oh, shoot!" said Vehna May. "Look out the window. Here comes mah husband with a dozen carnations."
"Golly," said Cora Sue. "What's wrong with a bunch of carnations?"
"Yew kiddin'! Mah legs'll be spread apart all weekend now."
"Gee whiz, honey," said Cora Sue, "ain't yew got a vase?"


Taxi.....-------->

[strangeirish]

Two howaya sluts walk into Brown Thomas (Dublin), they stroll up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it: 'Dat's quite nice innit, don't you tink Jacinta?'. 'Yeah, what's it called?'. 'Viens a moi' 'VIENS A MOI, what the f##k does that mean? At this stage the assistant offers some help. 'Viens a moi, ladies, is French for "come to me". Sharon, takes another sniff and offers her arm to Jacinta again saying, "That doesn't smell like come to me, does that smell like come to you?".

:D :D :D

[sligoman]

1. Watch yourself eating in front of a mirror. If you're put off, that's the view your future partner will have...

2. Live on your own. It's important that you find out what a hopeless slob you are before your beloved tells you. And then leaves you...

3. Go out with your friends for a "quick drink" and stagger home three days later...

4. Have a holiday romance with someone who doesn't speak a word of English. Who needs conversation?

5. Women: Take the soft toys off your bed. Nothing turns a man off more than performing in front of an audience of beady-eyed teddies...

6. Men: Get rid of those "How to Get Girls Even Though You're Poor and Ugly' books. They never work anyway...

7. Gobble the last slice of pizza without having to go through the 'No you have it, no really... Are you sure you don't mind...?

8. Walk about the house naked, without having to hold any bits in...

9. Have friends of the opposite sex. After marriage, it's too much effort to keep saying: "No, I really don't fancy them"...

10. Men: Enjoy that wardrobe space while you can! You will not believe the vast number of shoes that one woman needs...

11. Women: Fill in silly magazine quizzes with titles like 'Are You Seductive', without having to listen to loud laughter from your partner (who then runs off with the magazine)...

12. Men: Get rid of anything inflatable and female-shaped...

13. Relish clipping your toenails straight onto the carpet...

14. Remember that your best option with in-laws is to marry an orphan...

[sligoman]

Two howaya sluts walk into Brown Thomas (Dublin), they stroll up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it: 'Dat's quite nice innit, don't you tink Jacinta?'. 'Yeah, what's it called?'. 'Viens a moi' 'VIENS A MOI, what the f##k does that mean? At this stage the assistant offers some help. 'Viens a moi, ladies, is French for "come to me". Sharon, takes another sniff and offers her arm to Jacinta again saying, "That doesn't smell like come to me, does that smell like come to you?".

:D :D :D

:D, Ha ha brilliant!

[sligoman]

Colin was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Colin's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Colin that he thinks Colin's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Colin says. President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Colin says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, Clinton spots Colin on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Colin, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Colin. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome.

Colin and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Colin says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Colin returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Colin asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the heck's that on the balcony with Colin?"

[Anto McC]

Two blones walking along tracks arguing,"they're Deer tracks" one said,"no,they're bear tracks" said the other..........they were still arguing when the train hit :D

[sligoman]

Two blones walking along tracks arguing,"they're Deer tracks" one said,"no,they're bear tracks" said the other..........they were still arguing when the train hit :D

:rolleyes: :D

[Peadar]

This is very un PC...

I've a pain in my head from laughing at that. :( :D

[Peadar]

It was monday morning and all the kids are in the classroom.
The teacher sits all the children down.
She turns to Jason and says " Jason What did you do over the weekend?"
Jason replies "Well Miss I went up to the park to play in the sand pit with Mary."
Teacher: "Well Jason, if you can spell Sand I will give you a sweetie."
Jason: "S A N D"
Teacher: " Well done Jason!" and gives him a sweetie.

Next the teacher turns to Mary
Teacher: " Mary, what did you do over the weekend?"
Mary: " Well Miss I went up to the park to play in the sandpit with Jason."
Teacher: " Well Mary if you can spell PIT I will give you a sweetie."
Mary: " P I T "
Teacher: "Well done Mary!!!" and the teacher gives Mary the well deserved sweetie.

Next the teacher turns to Mohammed
Teacher: " Mohammed, what did you do over the weekend?"
Mohammed : " Well Miss I went up to the park to play in the sandpit, but Mary and Jason were there."
Mohammed : " And they would not let me play."
Teacher: " Oh Mohammed, that sounds like Racial Discrimination."
Teacher: "Mohammed, if you can spell Racial Discrimination I will give you a sweetie!!!"

[Anto McC]

A little girl runs into her northside mother who is washing dishes in the kitchen and says "Mammy Mammy why are your hands so soft" and the northside mother replys "well love,it's because i'm still only 15"

[sligoman]

The above two jokes are brilliant, :D :D

[strangeirish]

A heavily pregnant skanger girl phones the maternity hospital, obviously in some state of agitation:
"Nurse, nurse, I think me waters have broken."
Nurse: "OK, love stay calm love. Where are ye ringing from?"
Girl: "Oh, from me gee to me knees."

:eek: :D :D

[exile]

whats big brown and dirty and hangs of a sattilite dish ....................

a council house :D



il get my coat

[aido_b]

Im so sorry .....



Why did the Hedgehog cross the road ?
To see his flatmate




I'm banned now aint I ?!?!!? :D

[hamish]

You flirting with Strangeirish hamish? :eek: :D

You're at it again...first, I was "hitting on CTID" and now it's strangeirish.

We're just good friends KT. :p :D

In fact, I invites himself and his missus down to see me when he comes over here soon and he ignores my politeness, just like you in fact.

Cruel things and all that lovely liver I have to get rid of.........LOL
Quickie joke:

Young 17 year old bird goes into doctor with a chest complaint.

Doctor puts stetoscope to her chest and says "Big breaths, now".

Girl: "Yeth, and I'm only sixth-theen". :D

[hamish]

A little girl runs into her northside mother who is washing dishes in the kitchen and says "Mammy Mammy why are your hands so soft" and the northside mother replys "well love,it's because i'm still only 15"

Brilliant Anto. :D

I have a pile of northside women jokes somewhere in my outlook express files which a mate sent to me - must look 'em up and post here.

[strangeirish]

In fact, I invites himself and his missus down to see me when he comes over here soon and he ignores my politeness, just like you in fact.
Cruel things and all that lovely liver I have to get rid of.........LOL
Quickie joke:
Young 17 year old bird goes into doctor with a chest complaint.
Doctor puts stetoscope to her chest and says "Big breaths, now".
Girl: "Yeth, and I'm only sixth-theen". :D
Ah ya codger, you just want to meet the missus and have me in the back room being force fed all that liver :D

Classic joke BTW

[strangeirish]

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the
bartender:

Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"

[strangeirish]

Ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Rancher: "This dog don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin alright"
Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)"
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good." He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Rancher: (Look of disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Rancher: "Horses don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it goin?"
Horse: "Cool."
Rancher: (an even wilder look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at rancher)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking." He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Rancher: (total look of amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?"
Rancher: (stuttering, and hardly able to talk)...... "Th-Th-Them sheep ain't nothin but liars!!!"

[hamish]

A Northside girl goes to the Corpo to resister for child benefit
"How many children?", ask the Corpo official.
"10", replies the girl
"10???", replies the official....."What are their names?"
Girl: "Donal, Donal, Donal, Donal, Donal, Donal, Donal, Donal, Donal and Donal"
Official:"Doesn't that get confusing?"
Girl: "Nah, if dey are ou' in the street, I just call out Donal and dey all come in or I shout, Donal, yer dinner's ready, and dey all come in"
Official: "But what if you want to speak to one of them individually?"
Girl: "That's easy, I just use their surnames" :eek:

Northside girl walks in to the dry cleaners with a dress.
"I'll collect that dress in the morning", says she
Bloke behind the counter, hard of hearing, cupping his ear, says, "Come again?"
She replies, "Nah, this time it's mayonnaise".

Northside girl walks in to a sex shop looking for a vibrator.
Girl behind counter says, "Choose from our range on the wall there"
Northside girl, "I'll take that big red one, just my size"
Counter girl, "Errrrrrrr, that's a fire extinguisher"

Northside girl in a car crash, there's blood everywhere.
Paramedics arrive and lay her out on the ground.
Medic, "I'm going to check if you're concussed"
NG, "Fine"
Medic, "How many fingers am I putting up?"
NG, "oh Jaysus, I'm paralysed from the waist down"

Northside girl and northside bloke are at a bar when the girl noticed something strange about the wellies the bloke's wearing.
Girl, "'Scuse me, I ain't being funny or nuthin' but why does one of your wellies have an "R" and the udder have an "L" on it?
Bloke replies, "Well, I'm a little bit tick, yeh see, but de one with the "R" is my right foot and the one with de "L" is for my left foot.
Girl, "So dat's why me knickers have "C & A" on dem.

Northside girl was driving down the M1 when her fella rang on the mobile
He urgently warned her, "Look love, be very careful, I heard on de news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M1"
Girl, "It's not just one car, der's bleedin' hundreds of dem"

Northside girl is in a bad car crash and trapped in the car, bleeding heavily
Medic arrives.
Medic says, "It's allright now, love, I'm a medic but I want to ask you some questions".
Girl, " Ok den"
Medic, "What's your name?"
Girl, "Bridget"
Medic, "Ok, Bridget, is this your car?"
Bridget, "Yeh"
Medic, "Where are you bleeding from"
Girl, "Drumcondra"

Two aeriels meet on a roof, fall in love and get married
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

Two cannibals eating a clown
One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Patient, "Doc, I can't stop singing "The green, green grass of home"
Doctor, "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome"
Patient, "Is is common?"
Doctor, "It's not unusual"


Two cows standing in a field.
Dais, "I got inseminated this morning"
Dolly, "I don't believe you"
Daisy, "It's true, no bull"

Two hydrogen atoms walk in to a bar
One says, "I've lost my electron"
The other one asks, "Are you sure?"
First one replies, "Yes, I'm positive"

Went to the butcher the other day and bet him 50 euro that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf
"No", he replied, "the steaks are too high"

Man wals in to a doctor's surgery
"I have five penises", he says.
Doctor, "Blimey, how do your trousers fit?"
Man, "Like a glove"

Bloke brings his rottweiler to the vet.
Bloke, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
Vet, "Let's have a look at him"
Vet examines his eyes, teeth, etc.
Vet, "I'll have to put him down"
Man, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat, why, why, why, is it because he's cross-eyed?"
Vet, "No, he's fcuking heavy"

Sandwich walks in to a bar and orders a beer
Barman, "Sorry, we don't serve food here"

Man wals into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm
"A beer please, and one for the road"

A dyslexic walks into a bra

A jump lead walks into a bar
Barman, "I'll serve you but don't start anything"

Two fish swim up to a concrete wall
One turns to the other and says, "Dam"

[Anto McC]

I'll never forgive the Japanese for what they done to my Grandfather in WW2.............3 times he was passed over for promotion :D

[eamoss]

Northside girl and northside bloke are at a bar when the girl noticed something strange about the wellies the bloke's wearing.
Girl, "'Scuse me, I ain't being funny or nuthin' but why does one of your wellies have an "R" and the udder have an "L" on it?
Bloke replies, "Well, I'm a little bit tick, yeh see, but de one with the "R" is my right foot and the one with de "L" is for my left foot.
Girl, "So dat's why me knickers have "C & A" on dem.

Feel like a dumbass asking this but wat does C & A stand for? :o

[strangeirish]

A=Arse
You can figure out C for yourself ;)

[hamish]

A=Arse
You can figure out C for yourself ;)

I reckon he knows that strangeirish - it's the full name of the shop/store he wants to know - tell you the truth, I've forgotten that at the moment. :o

[hamish]

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?"
Rancher: (stuttering, and hardly able to talk)...... "Th-Th-Them sheep ain't nothin but liars!!!"


Thanks for giving me a ready made excuse for KT LOL :D

[hamish]

Cowboy out riding the range, comes across an Indian, lying on the ground, schlong sticking up in the air.
Cowboy asks him what he's up to.
"Telling the time", says the Injun.
Cowboy asks him how he does it.
Injun, "It's sorta like a sundial, sun causes a shadow on my schlong and I can tell what time it is"
"BTW, it's 11am."
Further on, cowboy comes across another Injun doing the same - Injun tells him it's 2.30pm
Further on, cowboy comes across another Injun, wnaking himself silly.
Cowboy says, "I suppose you can tell me the time?"
Injun, "I have to wind the clock first"

[hamish]

Young lad walks in on his father and mother having it off and asks them what they're doing.
Dad says, "We're playing poker, I'm the king and Mum's the queen"
Next day, young lad catches his oldest brother and girlfrind at it and they give the same answer.
Next day, he walks in to another brothers bedroom and catches him wnaking.
Young lad, "I suppose you're playing poker too but where's the queen?"
Other brother, "Who needs the queen when I've got a hand like this?" :eek:

[The County Dawg]

Wayne Rooney goes to the doctors and says..."Doc, every time I look in the mirror I get sexually aroused"
"Its no wonder" says the doctor " you're a c*nt".

[hamish]

Wayne Rooney goes to the doctors and says..."Doc, every time I look in the mirror I get sexually aroused"
"Its no wonder" says the doctor " you're a c*nt".

LOL :D :D :D

Two blokes go down to the sperm clinic to make donations.
First one meets doctor who directs him to cubicle.
In the cubicle he sees loads of porn mags and off he goes.
Mid-wnak, he hears groans from the next cubicle
He looks over the wall and sees his friend under a hot nurse who's giving him a right seeing to.
"For fcuks sake, how come I only get dirty mags and you get a horny nurse?"
Friend, "How many fcukin' times have I told you to join the fcukin' VHI?"

[hamish]

Dad walks in on his son having a frentic w*nk,
"Stop that son, it'll make you go blind"
"Dad, DAD, I'm over here"

A college professor had just finished explaining an important research paper to his class. He emphasised that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing the course and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for handing up completed papers late.
1. A medically certifiable illness or
2. A death in the student's immediate family
A smart assed student in the back of the class piped up, "But what about a case of extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
When the students stopped laughing, the professor replied, "Well, you'll just have to learn to write with the other hand"


Lovers celebrate St. Valentine's Day. What do masturbaters celebrate?
Palm Sunday

Girl walks in to an accountant to file her taxes.
Accountant goes through a check list with her, address, name etc
He comes to the part where one writes in one's profession.
"Whore", she saves
"Oh, Jesus, no, that won't do", says the account.
"Allright, write down prostitute", says the woman.
"No, that's won't be accepted either"
"Allright, put down chicken farmer"
Accountant, "What does chicken farming have to do with prostitution?"
Girl, "Well, I've raised over 5000 cocks in the past year"

[hamish]

I'll never forgive the Japanese for what they done to my Grandfather in WW2.............3 times he was passed over for promotion :D

Ah so, An to. :D

[sligoman]

So Hamish, you not been able to copy and paste, does that mean all the jokes you put in here were all typed out by you? :eek:

[Peadar]

The difference in definition between "guts" and "balls":

Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:
"Are you still cleaning or are you flying off somewhere?"

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass
and having the balls to say:
"You're next fatty."

[sligoman]

1. Non stick Cellotape
2. Solar Powered Flash Light
3. A black highlighter pen
4. Glow in the dark sunglasses
5. Inflatable Anchor
6. Smooth Sandpaper
7. Waterproof sponge
8. Waterproof Teabags
9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
10. Fireproof Matches
11. Fireproof Cigarettes
12. Battery powered Battery Charger
13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
14. Hand powered Chainsaw
15. Inflatable Dartboard
16. Silent Alarm Clock
17. A Pedal powered wheelchair
18. Braille Drivers Manual
19. Double sided playing cards
20. Ejector seats for Helicopters

[sligoman]

On a hairdryer : Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of sweets:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On packaging for an iron:Do not iron clothes on body
On Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On a sleep medicine:
Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On peanuts packet: Warning: contains nuts.
(Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning )

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open
packet, eat nuts.
(DDDUUUHHH)

On a childs superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

[Green Tribe]

The difference in definition between "guts" and "balls":

Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:
"Are you still cleaning or are you flying off somewhere?"

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass
and having the balls to say:
"You're next fatty."

:D :D

[davey]

Not really a joke but funny anyway and true.

my friend went for a smear test the other day. Shes a 2g with a real Irish name. Anyway, the nurse happened to be from Dublin and was making small talk with her whilst undertaking the apparently unpleasant task of the smear test.

"So Roisin, You must be Irish"

My pal, who btw was nervous as **** as this was her first test - "Jesus, Have I got freckles down there too?"

[hamish]

So Hamish, you not been able to copy and paste, does that mean all the jokes you put in here were all typed out by you? :eek:

Yep typed them all Sligoman. tried to copy/paste etc jokes from Wnakers at 50 joke site :eek: but Footie doesn't allow that word to print so I couldn't manage it.

[Green Tribe]

Yep typed them all Sligoman. tried to copy/paste etc jokes from Wnakers at 50 joke site :eek: but Footie doesn't allow that word to print so I couldn't manage it.

So you do have a valid reason for having a sore wrist then......... :eek: :D

[hamish]

So you do have a valid reason for having a sore wrist then......... :eek: :D

Jaysus, is there no excape from that woman. Here I am, posting away on a pretty obscure thread amd BANG, out she pops witk a smartass remark.

KT has perfected guerilla tactics in Footieland. :eek:

[CollegeTillIDie]

Ok totally non-PC joke here.

Chinese gentleman and New York Jewish guy having a few beers in a bar.
After a few drinks, the Jewish guy decks the Chinese guy seemingly out of the blue. Chineseman asks him " What was that for?" Jewish guy says " that was for Pearl Harbour in 1941." Chinese guy said " that was the Japanese I am from China" Jewish guy says " Japanese ?, CHinese? What's the difference?"

The Chinese man thinks for a few moments and then he decks the Jewish guy. Jewish guy indignantly says " what was that for?" Chinese guy replies " That was for the Titanic in 1912?" Jewish guy says" What's that got to do with me?" CHinese guy replies" ICEBERG ? GOLDBERG? What's the difference!" :D


I'll get my coat

[hamish]

Try these.from Wnakers.com :eek: :D

Q: What is good on pizza but bad on pussy?
A Crust

Q: How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
A: If your partner chews before swallowing

Q: What's the difference between a bonus and a Boner?
A: Your wife will blow your bonus..

Q: What's the difference between a wife and a job?
A: After 20 yrs the job still sucks

Q: How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A: A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

Q: Why do married men like blowjobs so much?
A: 15 mins of silence.

[sligoman]

www.*******.comWtf Hamish? :confused:

[hamish]

Wtf Hamish? :confused:

It's a joke site among other things Sligoman. Only for over 50s like me though. LOL :D
Some great jokes on it.
I've more on the way. :eek: