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Peadar
03/08/2004, 12:57 PM
The death of Fiona Barnes, whose body was found hanging from a tree in Belfast’s City Cemetery on Sunday, just yards from her boyfriend’s grave has brought back memories of a tragic six-week period in north Belfast earlier this year when 13 young men and women took their own lives. Fiona's boyfriend, Michael McComb, committed suicide earlier this year. This is an incredible and needless destruction of young life. What the hell is wrong up there?
We've all been in difficult times and being from West Cork I'm no stranger to suicide but I just can't understand it. Have we become such materialists that we can't offer a listening ear? So consumed by superficial social and economic gain that for too many people the only cure is to terminate their very existence and destroy the lives of those they leave behind? Unless we work harder to understand what's happening we'll never be able to help ourselves to rise above the issues which drive some tormented souls to suicide.

wws
03/08/2004, 1:51 PM
Hi only heard a bit of this on the radio the other morning but apperently theres been war in the community where these people live over one of the original suicide victims dying wish to be buried with her son- FR aidan troy was on the radio as the mediator vbetween both groups -the families fell out over an argument over where the son or mother was buried and it caused rioting and other stuff between factions - now a third suicide - this sounds like a total tragedy

joeSoap
03/08/2004, 2:12 PM
Hi only heard a bit of this on the radio the other morning but apperently theres been war in the community where these people live over one of the original suicide victims dying wish to be buried with her son- FR aidan troy was on the radio as the mediator vbetween both groups -the families fell out over an argument over where the son or mother was buried and it caused rioting and other stuff between factions - now a third suicide - this sounds like a total tragedy
Not splitting hairs with you over this, but I think you're wrong. Fiona Barnes killed herself because her boyfriend, Michael McComb hanged himself three weeks ago because he couldn't cope with the grief of his sisters death, who was killed by joyriders two years ago.This is simply a tragic tale of a young girl who couldn't live without her boyfriend, who in turn couldn't cope because his sister had been killed.
The fued over the exhumation involving Father Aidan Troy is just another sad story, but different. :(

wws
03/08/2004, 2:22 PM
oh right - i must have mixed up both stories - they sounded familiar when I read Peadars post I thought it was teh same one - both of them involved tragic suicides.

Peadar
03/08/2004, 2:30 PM
i must have mixed up both stories.

The very fact that you were able to mix up the stories further highlights the scale of the problem in Belfast.

joeSoap
03/08/2004, 2:54 PM
Not just in Belfast though, unfortunately...its rife in a lot of rural villages throughout the country now, and we only get to hear of the ones with sensationalist headlines the papers want to use to fill their pages.
I personally believe there should be a blanket ban on all media covering suicide stories, as the pain added to the shame it can bring to the families involved is harrowing.

drinkfeckarse
03/08/2004, 3:10 PM
Not just in Belfast though, unfortunately...its rife in a lot of rural villages throughout the country now, and we only get to hear of the ones with sensationalist headlines the papers want to use to fill their pages.
I personally believe there should be a blanket ban on all media covering suicide stories, as the pain added to the shame it can bring to the families involved is harrowing.

How is it shameful for the families? Unless I've picked you up wrong...are you saying that families would feel ashamed if one of their own killed themselves??

joeSoap
03/08/2004, 3:17 PM
Yes I am.Like it or not there is a social stigma attached to suicide, thanks in no small way to the Irish Catholic Church.I know a woman who's husband killed himself a few years ago, and she wouldn't come out of the house for fear of what the neighbours thought, or what the parish priest might say to her.I don't agree with those sentiments myself, but I certainly understand them, especially if one is living in a small village....peer pressure type of thing, I guess.

Peadar
03/08/2004, 3:26 PM
Yes I am.Like it or not there is a social stigma attached to suicide, thanks in no small way to the Irish Catholic Church.

My mother told me that if someone had commited suicide when she was younger, they'd be buried outside the wall of the graveyard.
That bestowed a sense of shame on the family left behind.
It's a stigma which is hard to shake in rural communities.
I've just thought about the number of people I know who've commited suicide and to be honest it's frightening for such a small area.

drinkfeckarse
03/08/2004, 3:34 PM
Yes I am.Like it or not there is a social stigma attached to suicide, thanks in no small way to the Irish Catholic Church.I know a woman who's husband killed himself a few years ago, and she wouldn't come out of the house for fear of what the neighbours thought, or what the parish priest might say to her.I don't agree with those sentiments myself, but I certainly understand them, especially if one is living in a small village....peer pressure type of thing, I guess.

I understand where you're coming from but I just think it's a bit off the mark. The Church maybe had something to do with attitudes like that but I would've thought those days were long gone. If the woman you knew was afraid to come out of her house then surely that's more to do with her attitude than other people's. I don't know....all I know is that the only thing I would feel towards someone who had that experience would be immence sympathy. God forbid that should ever happen to someone in my family, but if it did, I certaintly wouldn't feel as if I had anything to be ashamed about and I certainly wouldn't be giving a sh1te about what the neighbours thought.

joeSoap
04/08/2004, 1:01 PM
Thats easy for you to say because you weren't brought up to believe that suicide was a really really evil thing to do in the eyes of god. The generations before ours were, therefore the shame and social stigma.The church educated people to believe that suicide was the work of satan, and all god-fearing catholics believed this. I'm not saying its right, but I do understand why people would feel shame, as well as remorse.

drinkfeckarse
04/08/2004, 3:40 PM
Joe that's my whole point, I do think it was an older generation thing. I don't think it's relevent to my generation therefore that's why I don't think anyone should feel ashamed in this day and age if something like that happened to someone close to you.

dortie
05/08/2004, 11:40 AM
Thats easy for you to say because you weren't brought up to believe that suicide was a really really evil thing to do in the eyes of god. The generations before ours were, therefore the shame and social stigma.The church educated people to believe that suicide was the work of satan, and all god-fearing catholics believed this. I'm not saying its right, but I do understand why people would feel shame, as well as remorse.


Is this a football forum :confused:

There is no difference in suicide in the North or South, its usually caused by depression thats not treated, an illness. What the Church has got to do with someone taking their own life is beyond me, and its not Just Catholic teaching that states its wrong, maybe the church should encourage it would that make it better for the families involved ?

Id a cousin who took his own life by Jumping into the River Foyle, to be honest I feel its a very selfish thing to do and what the church did in this instance was try to console the mess he left his family in.

Peadar
05/08/2004, 11:46 AM
Is this a football forum :confused:

This forum is for anything off the topic of football.
We're not saying that this is a NI problem.
We're not blaming the church for causing it.

I asked what was wrong with society that the problem seemed to be on the rise.