Best opening line in a news story ever?

[Dodge]

http://www.wftv.com/news/13657347/detail.html

BERVARD COUNTY, Fla. -- The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail.

http://www.wftv.com/2007/0423/12921992_240X180.jpg

[thischarmingman]

The human torch was denied a bankloan...

[Spudulika]

Delany says "The Pat Grace Chicken Shop league is very important to the Irish football family, and integral part of the football fabric of this country and is a natural progression for our players to go on to full professional careers at higher levels, like the Vauxhall Conference and East Sussex league"

Or maybe I dreamt that one.

[pineapple stu]

What were you googling to find that, Dodge?

:eek:

[Planners]

"Rooney tries to squeeze one into Berbatov !"

[Dodge]

What were you googling to find that, Dodge?

:eek:

Nothing, posted uip by the funny or die twitter...

[SkStu]

http://leanmeanfightingmachine.posterous.com/welsh-asda-pizza-complaint

click on the link above and listen - very funny - :D

[strangeirish]

http://leanmeanfightingmachine.posterous.com/welsh-asda-pizza-complaint

click on the link above and listen - very funny - :DHa Ha Ha...The feckin' eejit:D