Quack
02/04/2004, 9:06 PM
Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
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A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
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What do you call a cat with no tail?
A manx cat.
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Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
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Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
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Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
------------------------
A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
-----------------------
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a cat with no tail?
A manx cat.
------------------------------------------------------------
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
------------------------------------------------------------
How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
------------------------------------------------------------
Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.